Ross & Ramona - August, 2008
8/2 to 8/10
We had been to H3 twice and this was our first time at H2.
Quick
comparison: H2 is more (to the point of too much, possibly). The
beach is
more, with amazing water. The property is vast in comparison,
with more trees
and vegetation. The people we met were a bit more friendly and a
lot more
wild. To be fair, we should say that there were more large bugs
and more
tummy aches. The EC's were more scarce (not that we couldn't
entertain
ourselves). About the same number of creepy men.
Like H3, the most important thing about H2 are the people.
Too many
interesting characters to count. We'd like to thank everyone
there this week
for making our stay as fun as it was.
And now, for our week...
Saturday 8/2
We flew on delta, with a bit of a delay from Atlanta to MB,
but no worries,
just a long flight. Apparently, we managed to avoid a 2 hour
wait in customs
that happened to other travelers this day.
There had been a lot of renovation work on the Sangster airport
since we were
last there a year and a half ago.
On the ride up, the sun and the water were beautiful. It was
almost cruel to
be stuck on a bus. For some reason, the bus driver decided to
skip the usual
stop for beers. I don't know about you, but that break makes
those 90 long
minutes a bit bearable. Everyone begged, and he stopped. The
weather this
week was full of flash rain storms, and we got a taste of that
as we got close
to the property. Suddenly, just as we pulled up to the resort,
we were in a
downpour. However, check-in was a breeze. Key cards in Ramona's
hands before
Ross could come back with our first drinks.
Because of the rain, we meandered to our room in the nude
garden view block.
Ross appreciated the quiet of the garden view. Ramona wanted to
be able to
see more from the window (there was no actual "garden view").
The rain stopped and the sun came out quickly. We headed to
the nude side to
check it out. Lovely beach. A little quiet because of people
coming and
going. Grotto...
Unfortunately, Ramona had a bought of conjunctivitis that
evening, from some
contaminated contact solution. Putting important fluids in
little leaky
bottles in a single little bag for the TSA is a recipe for
contamination, we
warn you. From now on, we buy it at the gift store (yes they
have saline, but
curiously, no lube). At first, we had no idea what was going on
with Ramona's
eyes, but the nurse on call took a look and got the doctor, who
gave her some
eye drops.
While Ramona was sleeping, letting the drops do their work, Ross
went to the
hot tub and made friends with R & J and T & C. Coincidentally, T
had just
recovered from conjunctivitis, so it must be a pretty common
disaster.
Sunday 8/3
A bright new day and Ramona's eyes were already feeling much
better.
Started the morning right with hummingbirds and dirty bananas.
We explored.
We got some supplies from the gift store (no-slip flip-flops
were also
needed). Tried the water slide and then went to the nude side,
meeting D & B
and R & C.
The disco this night was a lot of fun. The music and the
energy were good.
Three people tried out pole dancing. One lost his pants near the
pole,
another lost her stockings...
And then we spotted "the triplets", A, S, and J, three young
women traveling
together and dressed identically this evening. They had just
arrived. More
about them later.
Adjourning to the hot-tub, we see quite a few new arrivals.
There was a
contingent of guys from Boston: D, D/T, and young A. As it turns
out, young A
was one of the male pole dancers (lost pants), and he'd just met
T (lost
stockings), which begins a drama one might call "The real world:
Hedonism II".
Some of the other new folks were hitting the ground running:
tired, drunk,
single, and horny being such an attractive combination in a man.
Some wised
up after a stern talking to from T (of T & C).
Monday 8/4
Again up early to enjoy the morning. Ross did his laps at the
beach while
Ramona worked on her tan and painted a rock. Around noon A & T
do a very very
PDA, that the whole beach enjoyed.
Over at the pool, a good many kind gentlemen (and the
triplets) offer to
protect the delicate young women of H2 from the harsh rays of
the sun through
a most liberal application of sun-screen. Spa day for the
ladies.
Grotto...(thanks, guys)
Rick's cafe with E & E. Bad sunset (unfortunate weather), but
cliff divers
were cool and company was good.
A nap claims Ramona for the evening. In retrospect, naps,
which seemed like a
good idea at the time, tended to be hard to wake up from. R & C
proved that
with pacing you can get through a day without them. Mild
stimulants help too
(giftshop has redbull).
Tuesday 8/5
The morning of this day witnessed the blessed event of B & C.
The morning was
up a bit earlier than we were. But later that morning, we were
able to
witness the consummation of the newlyweds at the nude beach.
Later on, we got a kayak and went out to the nearby island
(was it called
"booby island"? or did Ross hear that wrong?). The water right
around the
island was as clear as glass. The island itself was inhabited
only by two
cats and a woman, "grandma" selling souvenirs.
It has a very shallow beach with powdery sand. Great place to
hang out.
Meanwhile, back at the nude pool, A meets K, sister of the
bride C, the next
episode of "real world: H2".
Wednesday 8/6
Someone was giving away coconut and sugar cane on the prude
side.
Yummy! And then it started to rain, and rain, and rain.
Earlier this day we tried to experiment with something called
"magic tea",
which we bought near Rick's. Perhaps we didn't take the right
amount, or
perhaps we should not have waiting two days after buying it, but
it didn't
turn out all that well. Ross felt pretty mellow on it, but
Ramona started
getting pretty depressed -- the rain didn't help.
We moped and moped. Finally, we took a walk along the beach,
up passed
Sandals and Beaches and into the public beach area. Nice walk.
The sand is a bit different as you go up the beach. As we
walked, the sun
started to come out, and we started to cheer up.
If we were feeling any remnant of clouds when we arrived at
the nude pool, it
vanished when we saw triplets A, S, and J having crazy fun.
In the end, we, the triplets, and just about everyone else whose
initials
appear in this report are in the jacuzzi, drinking "blue
mother-fuckers", and
frolicking about. Ramona drops her sunglasses in the middle of
this brawl and
they are never seen again (cute replacements from the giftshop).
We were sad
to have to go to dinner.
We ate at Munasan. The food there was average. The show on
the main stage
was a lot of fun, so we bolted to it at the end of dinner.
We had our first night in the piano bar with R & J, T & C, R
& C, and A, S,
and J. It was a lot of fun. People were really energetic and the
piano guy
(I think his name was "Mega") did a great job.
After that, we changed for the pajama party in the disco.
Also really good.
Fun outfits. Award to J in the sweet-tart bikini.
Thursday 8/7
After such a fun night, Ramona was feeling just a little
under the weather
this morning, but, by luck, we ran into K & M. They introduced
us to Andrews
(available in the giftshop), their favorite hangover cure. With
a bit of help
from Gracie at how to imbibe it ("drink it while it's still
fizzing"), the
haze lifted and we were ready for snorkeling.
We went out with D (of D & B) and also met M & R, and a few
other people on
the boat ride out. Snorkeling is not to be missed.
Beautiful fish, with no fear, swimming all around us. It was
hard to get back
in the boat, but the mid-day storm help make that easier.
After all that activity, it was time to relax on the nude
side. The rain
started up again. Grotto... Then the rain lightened up and the
sun came out.
We were then to witness an A,T,&K threesome turn into a
love-triangle as "real
world: H2" continued.
This night was the talent show and toga night. There were no
toga sheets in
our room, so Ross went to the front desk and grabbed some.
After a bit more delay, we found ourselves with 15 minutes to
throw our togas
together.
M & R did an amazing Argentine tango demonstration at the
talent show.
C & J's played a Heart song, Ross liked. A few more acts and
then the toga
contest started. R (of R & C) had us in stitches with his
"athletic" dancing,
and he won the men's. Ramona shook her hips and tied for first
for the
women's, winning us rum!
Afterward, Ross goes solo to the piano bar (did we mention
the food?).
Another fun night, but this one is interrupted by a really drunk
guest who
doesn't know how to give up the mic. The piano guy told us that
when
something like that happens, there isn't much the staff can do.
So guests, be warned, it's up to you to fix the situation.
Ross then went to the hot-tub. A lot of new Vinnies around.
Triplet A has to
fend off a persistent guy from Naples. Ross walks the triplets
home because
of another persistent Vinnie who kept following them (a regular
bloodhound, he
was).
Friday 8/8
Ramona starts the morning with a pedicure and then works on her tan.
Ross tries to wake up, fails, and stays in and reads Melville.
The EC Vixxen tries to inspire the pool people for some
volleyball.
No takers. Then soccer. Still no. Then rum cream body shots.
Whoot! We line up. Nothing like licking tasty alcohol off that
special
someone.
At dinner, we meet a prudee, A/M, who's dieing to see what's
on the other
side. Her friends barely look at us.
Piano bar. Much like the previous night. Starts out fun, but
gets tense when
the same guy takes over. This time a bit more belligerent.
Slow night in the disco. But meanwhile, A/M ditches her lame
friends and has
fun with J.
There was some shouting late that night....who were those people?
Saturday 8/9
Transition period. So many wonderful people going home. Hope
to hear from
you (I mean it bitches!).
Only one way to console ourselves. Nude side. Much frolicking
about.
D/T finds true love with K (not C's sister K). So sweet. And,
because D/T
had spent the week being so jolly and generous with his smoke:
(adapted from Moby Dick, chapter 27)
What, perhaps, with other things, made [D/T] such an easy-going,
unfearing man, so cheerily trudging off with the burden of life
in
a world full of grave peddlers, all bowed to the ground with
their
packs; what helped to bring about that almost impious good-humor
of his; that thing must have been his pipe. For, like his nose,
his short, [green] little pipe was one of the regular features
of
his face. You would almost as soon have expected him to turn out
of his bunk without his nose as without his pipe. He kept a
whole
row of pipes there ready loaded, stuck in a rack, within easy
reach of his hand; and, whenever he turned in, he smoked them
all
out in succession, lighting one from the other to the end of the
chapter; then loading them again to be in readiness anew. For,
when [D/T] dressed, instead of first putting his legs into his
trousers, he put his pipe into his mouth.
After those poetics, a crazy crowd of 21 year olds arrive with
lots of noise
and toys. Asleep by midnight. Sorry we didn't see more of you
guys.
Dinner this night was Pastafari. That was very good. Eat
there as often as
you can.
The piano bar switched to Karaoke. We had a literary
discussion with J & C in
the side room (yeah, geeky, but we can do what we want, it's
Hedo!). Karaoke
was under attended, with people in transition and all, but still
fun.
Our last night ended late on a prude side four-poster. Much
more comfy than a
beach chair.