Palu and Puff - January, 2008

Hedo II January Trip Report

“I love this place!” Those were the words uttered by a neighbor sitting on
his lounge chair on the nude beach. He added that he was writing a song
with “I love this place” as the title and first line of lyrics. He had yet to
come up with a second line, but in Jamaica it, “com soon, mon.”

We recently returned home from another week of fun in the sun at one of our
favorite resorts – Hedo II. As we approach 20 visits, I keep thinking we will
tire of vacationing at the same place over and over. Not to be. This
time was as good or better than the other visits. On top of it all, we
experienced none of the gloom and doom problems as mentioned in trip reports
that were posted during the fall months of last year.

Food: The food was great all week culminating in a fantastic beach party
feast. All of the restaurants were closed for the evening and tables and
chairs were set up on the prude beach. The buffet was arranged in a festive
setting with all of the usual delights. I had lobster, roast beef, jerk pork,
stir fry chicken and curry goat all on my plate at the same time. The
desserts all week seemed to heavily favor finger-sized cakes with a few full
sized cakes and cookies thrown in for good measure. They were great!
Someone has finally decided to add sugar to the desserts. In the past, they
have all look delightful but tasted anything but.

Towels: They were a little hard to find, as the resort was full. If the
other guests were anything like us I can see why towels were a problem. Let
me explain: Jimmy Buffett has a line in Margaritaville that goes, “…but I
know, it’s my own damn fault.” At the end of our stay we had six beach towels
in our room. Bad dog, bad bad dog. It is too easy to grab a couple of clean
ones and not worry about getting the dirty ones returned.

Rooms: All of the rooms are basically the same and ours was more than
adequate for its intended purpose. We stored clothes, took showers and
slept in ours. (Sex was on the beach. I love this place!) It was a
typical room but arguably it was the least desirable location on the property.
The nude beach being the most expensive and therefore most desirable with the
prude garden the least expensive. We ended up in the last room on the ground
floor of the prude garden side. The down side of this is we were at the end
of the hot water pipe and next to the traffic on the “freeway.” The up side
is we get an extra day for the same price (if you stay long enough). The walk
down the entire length of the beach was not that long and it gave us some
needed exercise. We are cheep, I know, and booked the prude garden. But, we
met some first timers to Hedo that booked the same rooms and were bumped up to
a nude ocean room when they arrived.
I know the business reasons motivating the change for them, but I am still
jealous.

The Beaches: There were nude bodies everywhere. During the lifestyles take
over weeks the rules are skewed a bit. I saw more nudes on the prude beach
than I saw prudes on the prude beach. Lounge chairs were at a premium.
Most people got up early and reserved a pair with a towel, a book or a shoe.
The nude beach started to fill in around noon and an increase in energy and
activity level soon followed. This may be a bit of an exaggeration, but at
times it seemed that every couple on the beach or on the water was involved in
some sort of PDA. There were lots of couples enjoying themselves, just a few
PDS’s and very few vinnies. P-a-r-a-d-i-s-e.

The Hot Tub: Full of people and full of fun. Water was never too hot but got
cool one night. The activities never seem to cool.

Things That Were Different: One afternoon I saw a lady on a lounge chair
getting serviced by her guy. It wasn’t the fact that this event was happening
on the prude beach that made it of note. It was the fact that as the guy was
on his knees doing his best to please, she was on her back reading a book.
WTF I felt sorry for the guy and almost went over, grabbed the book out of
her hands and told her to “pay attention!” “Your guy is working hard down
there. This is Jamaica, lady, show some respect.”

Late one afternoon we were treated to some Theater on the Beach. A mermaid in
a gold full body suit swam ashore, was netted by two men, hooked and strung up
like a trophy fish from a tree branch. Photography was supposedly not allowed
on the beach but as the event culminated, fifty cameras appeared from nowhere
and started recording the performance. I am sure everyone there came away
with his or her own interpretation of the drama. Different!

The sweethearts of the resort turned out to be a couple from the UK that had
been married for some 57 years. They were both voted Ms. and Mr. Toga and the
voting figuratively and almost literally brought the house down. What a
couple of cuties! They both enjoyed the nude beach and were a little
surprised at the activities as this was their first visit to Hedo.

Disco: Seemed to be busy with lots of people dancing when we attended.
Music was fair but danceable.

Piano Bar: I miss Dave!

Evening Attire: There were hundreds of beautiful and creative dinner outfits
displayed during the week by the ladies. What a delight and a feast for your
eyes. The guys did their part with some creative and macho clothes as well.

The Trip There and Back: You don’t care. Although, on the return trip, we
missed a connection but our luggage did not. It arrived home three hours
before we did.

The above report has been compiled by two newly retired, long-time happily
married non-lifestyle’s. One of the reasons we stay happily married is
because of our frequent visits to places like Hedo. We may be getting older
but we refuse to act our age.

Palu and Puff

PaluPuff@mindspring.com