John - June, 2008
Trip report Friday June 6 through Saturday June14, 2008
Annual trip with Dean’s Beach Rangers
The tan fades, but the memories linger.
Travel
US Air took off and landed on time going in both
directions. On the way down I had to
stop for a brief layover in
Weather
We had afternoon showers every afternoon but one. On a few afternoons, when the rains came, I used the rain as an opportunity for a Hedo nap. The air temperatures during the day were in the middle to upper 80s most days. There were a few evenings that it was still quite humid and warm during dinner and one night when it was actually cool after getting in the hot tub. Ocean water temps were 84-86 F.
The Resort
The resort was just as lush as ever. The trapeze has been removed although the trampoline is still there. It did not appear to have been uncovered at all the week I was there.
The never-used ice rink outside of the disco has been converted to a nice seating area with tables and chairs.
The profile of the beach had changed considerably since my last visit. Last year the water inside of the hook was very low and you could walk all of the way out to the float without the water going much higher than your knees. This year the beach looked to have had sand added, but the water level was back to normal. The area inside of the swimming ropes seemed pretty clear – I did not see one sea urchin, as sometimes occurs. I also did not notice one cup on the bottom, so I am guessing that someone may have cleaned the area up recently.
The music in the disco was spotty at best. I stopped in each night, usually about midnight, and the disco only drew a crowd on two nights, and one of those nights was the night of the pajama party.
The music played at the pool area each day was just OK. The variety was certainly better than on previous trips, but the repetition of Bob Marley every afternoon from 4 o’clock on got old on Day 3.
I have come to really like the new electronic card keys. I also liked the new, big, in-room safes that you can set your own combination to. They were big enough for a good-sized laptop computer (if one is so inclined).
My room had one of the new air conditioners. These are more in line with the AC units at Grand Lido. The units are up at ceiling level with a separate control on the wall. My unit was set at 72 F all week and I never had to touch it. The new units can be a bit noisy, but not like the old units and basically you set them and forget them.
The cable TV now has two porno channels, 115 (Playboy) and 116 (10Star – XTSY). My TV was missing a remote and I reported it to the front desk for the simple reason that I did not want to be changed for one. The next day a remote appeared, which of course did not work with the TV in my room.
Occupancy was very low – I would guess about 40%. There did not appear to be anyone in the back units on either side of the resort and these all appeared to be under construction – having the new AC units installed or something else. However, the low occupancy did not slow down activities in any way.
I have AT&T service on my cell phone and I could send
and receive email and could receive calls, but could not make outgoing calls,
send, or receive text messages. This
could have been due to my phone and not the carrier as I was picking up both
Jamaica Cable and Wireless and Digicell signals. It was easy to figure out a method to receive
calls – send an email with the time that I would have the phone on and with me,
and then wait for the call. Just
remember that
The Food
We had dinner once at Munasan and twice at Pastafari. The food at Munasan was good, but basically I go there for the camaraderie. I had the tenderloin on both trips to Pastafari and it was yummy. Being waited on and eating in air conditioning is also very welcome. The selection at the antipasto bar was small, but tasty.
The meals in the buffet were passable. There was a lot of repetition and there seemed to be fewer items to choose from, but I found something tasty to eat each trip. I eat a lot of salads, fruits, and vegetables and the salad selection was certainly smaller than previous trips.
I am happy to report that a comment I read elsewhere is correct – the Prude Beach Grill is, indeed serving jerk chick throughout the day. It is also a good source for Jamaican beef patties.
The People
As I mentioned earlier, occupancy was very low, but the activity level and energy level was pretty high. There seemed to be three groups/themes for the week including the Got Ass Girls, the Ultimate Men of Hedonism (UMoH), and Party Like a Porn Star. Several of the Got Ass Girls (some with their boyfriends) and a few of the UMoH guys made it to the hot tub at night. Surprisingly the girls seemed friendlier than the guys. There were a number of single males and females in attendance including the Got Ass girls and the Ultimate men and all were well behaved and friendly. Everyone seemed to be good-hearted and having a good time. One of the UMoH men did seem to have a “posturing” issue at the side of the hot tub one night, but some coaxing by the girls changed his mind.
The Diving
I did about a dozen dives on the seven non-travel days. Clifton Ritchie, who left Hedo to go work at Sandals Whitehouse is back and a welcome re-addition to the staff. He and his brother Derrick, and Anthony were the primary dive masters for most of the week.
I finally sprung and brought my own equipment prior to this trip and was very happy with the way that my equipment performed. The Hedo equipment has always been good and serviceable, but there is something to having your own equipment.
Most days there were only two of us and the dive master on the early dive. The later dives tended to be a bit crowded and there were several trainees who formed a different group and did not go as deep. One morning on the way out we saw three adult dolphins with one newborn. On the shallow dive on Friday June 13, the dive master of the trainee group was heard banging on his tank, indicating us to be on alert for something. A few minutes later I was swimming on the outside of the group when I turned around and there was an eight foot dolphin less than two feet from my face looking right at me. It did several rapid loops around all of the divers, about an arm’s length away from the people, almost teasing us, and then swam off – an absolutely amazing site. It was the perfect way to end a week of dives.
I have put in a good word for the dive masters in the past, but it is worth repeating. On several of the shallow dives there was a variety of people with varied levels of experience and skill levels. These guys are great at reading and working with people. If you have ever thought of getting certified this is a great place to do it. I was also reminded that just because someone has money to spend on scuba equipment does not mean that they are good divers. I saw people with their own full set of equipment knocking into the corals and cutting other divers off.
The Activities
The Got Ass competition was interesting and most of the girls seemed to be pretty fun, although I heard that a few of them were a bit snarky to a few of the walk on girls. I had the opportunity to spend some time with several of them and one of them even came out on the dive boat for a few trips. I could have done without some of the drawn out commentary made during the actual contest. I did not stay for the announcement of the winner.
The Ultimate Men of Hedonism contest was a bit too drawn out for me and did not hold my attention. I left the dining area after a few of them did their thing. I heard that there was some controversy about the judging. It seemed that one of the clear favorites got knocked down a few notches. I overheard a discussion the day after the contest where someone was saying that the favored contestant did something on stage, “that was totally inappropriate, even for Hedo” and that negatively effected his scoring.
The energy level of the Entertainment Coordinators seemed very low. Few scheduled activities went off as planned and many of the ECs passed the buck when asked to start an activity. They are no longer distributing Hedo Bucks. They are using coins as prizes. One gold coin or ten silver coins equals one bottle of rum. They also have sleeveless T-shirts that you can trade for, but on several mornings (including Friday and Saturday morning when you would need them most) the ECs did not set up the gift exchange and several passed the buck when asked to redeem our coins. Winston is back for the summer.
Our group had their own “reward” system for activities – Beach Ranger Bucks. The girls could “earn” bucks for services rendered, which included anything from running for drinks to ……. At the end of the week we had an auction of a fine selection of prizes for bucks earned.
Overall, I would rate the sexual atmosphere for the week a 9 out of 10. The week started out with a bang and stayed at a very high level. There were a few afternoons that it seemed that anyone sitting on the edge of the pool was advertising as being open for business. I think many of us reached a new low/high this week. There was a lot of poolside and hot tub-side activity. For a change, the daytime activities seemed just as busy, if not busier than the nights.
Overheard at Hedo:
“We are going into the grotto. Do you wanna come?”
“Ow. I’ve never been handcuffed before.”
Are you straight, bi, gay? Do you want to party with us?
Female: “Can I hook up with you three later?”
Female: “You will never guess what just happened to me. This couple asked me if I wanted to come back to their room and watch them have sex. Of course I ended up right in the middle of things.”
“I had an erection when I left the hot tub. What happened to it?”
“I never knew you were ticklish.”
“Do we have condoms? I want him. I bet he would do it.”
In the style of VH-1 – “Who’s having the best week ever? WE ARE!”
“Don’t you look at me with that tone of voice.”
Cool T-shirts seen at Hedo:
I like long walks on the beach…and blow jobs.
It isn’t cheating if the husband joins.
Things I liked:
Absolutely no problems with the air conditioner or hot water.
Hedo Husbands
Hot
Random thoughts:
The selection of premium liquors was good. There was even some Jack Daniels and Johnny
Walker Red and Black around some days.
The wines served in the dining room and Pastafari
were better than I remembered on previous trips.
Bananas were not available every day.
The winners of the free nights awarded at the Repeater’s Party went to someone with 14 previous trips - me.
I was not asked for a credit card at check in.
I finally found the lime tree.
Arriving on a Friday and departing on a Saturday is much easier than arriving on Saturday and departing on Sunday.
I found a charm in the bottom of the pool. If anyone lost one and can describe the one I found I will be happy to return it to the rightful owner.
Overall impressions
One of the best trips yet. The people were great, despite the low occupancy. The energy level was great. I got very little sleep.