Brian & Fran - June, 2007

June 3-10, 2007

by Brian (aka BananaBread), of Brian and Fran

This was our 10th + trip to Hedo!  Gets better every time!  Despite reading here about rainstorms, AC problems, towel shortages - we experienced none of these. Cameras and psychos, yes.  But plenty of towels!

First time going this particular week, the first week of June. Visually, the crowd was the youngest and best looking we had ever seen.  Always something yummy to look at during dinner!

The resort featured their first annual Got Ass? competition which brought in over 20 very young, HOT Canadian women who showcased their booty in various ensembles throughout the week.  They stayed mostly on the Prude side, except when having their photos taken (more on that later) on the nude side.  They were topless by day 2, making the Main Dining Hall Prude Pool more delightful than any other trip.  The Got Ass? Friday night show, which also had regular guests as judges and contestants, was better than most of the tired Hedo dinner productions.  (Sorry, but I can recite some of them verbatim by now). Romania was the winner, and she did know how to shake that biggest, juiciest booty!

Penthouse Swimsuits (not Penthouse magazine, not Penthouse.com, not even Pent-ho's, for that matter) models also stayed a few days, their lovely faces and features prettying up the place.  They were not as hot as the Got Ass girls, though.

Conversely, the resort was also hosting the Ultimate Man of Hedonism calender boy competition.  If you've seen the calender, you know some of the men of what are women call "hot" - others are what could be charitably described as Dolts.   Since we all know "Personality Counts Most" in your enjoyment of others at Hedo, it was fun to watch the Calender Boys' week unfold.  They went from strutting and puffing like peacocks too cool for the room, to realizing no one wanted to talk to them when they acted that way.  By the week's end, most were on the nude side, smokin' down, and chilling with the rest of us mortals. 

The Saturday Night Ultimate Man contest in the dining hall was like a night at an X (not XXX) rated Chippendales show.  Ray-Ray was even in the audience! Squeals for Ray Ray punctutaed the evening.  Judging by the routines (two of which were the exact same by two different contestants) most of the men appeared to be "professionals."  One contestant, James, clearly did not tan, pump iron or even waggle his wang around, but damn if he wasn't the most entertaining and genuine dancer!  James should win the Hedo Spirit award!  Assassin won the contest to be on the cover of the Calender.  Perhaps it was the hot wax pour, or maybe just the foot long stocking that hung between his legs. Were those nylons stuffed with something other than themselves???

The food was the best it had ever been.  We made sure to peel purselves off the beach and make lunch every day.  The salad bar was fresh and clean, and so well maintained.  Kudos to the new salad bar guy!  No slime, no pools of melted ice water, no shredded lettuce passing as salad, no sweaty cheese, no brown crusty tuna salad.  And lots of anchovies!! Having such good nutrition available really improves your ability to handle drinking 12-18 hours a day!

The resort was clean, bar service was quicker than ever, food was delish. Foxy was in a great mood, and Winston returned from school on the last night.  I found the card keys more convenient than a piece of metal banging against me.  The safe is large enough for a laptop. I think the property is improving with age.

There are, however, a few issues that Hedo management might care to look into addressing, two of which are "social." 

More sand by the nude volleyball court, please!!   One poor fellow had his leg up all week because the volleyball court is basically a sheet of cement with a dusting of sand on top. He was enlightened to this when making a save for his team.  It was the only game we saw all week.  Understandably.

Also, when a particular pair of guests are physically fighting with each other, physically attacking other guests for no reason, overindulging in alcohol - and perhaps drugs - to the point that they disturb everyone around them - perhaps they should be removed.  The first few nights the man-half spent injecting himself into the interaction of everyone who came to the hot tub area.  As in, putting his face directly in-between two people kissing (or whatever-ing.)  As in, approaching any PDAs and yelling random obscenities directly into their ear.  When told to Go Away, he'd reply "I can do what the f*ck I want."  After that, people just stayed away from that area; it became "his room".  The first few nights we watched as security and a helpful guest or two would try and drag him back to his room, but apparently the wife would not let him stay there.  He spent every night passed out by the pool.  His wife, evidently acting out unresolved issues of her own, bashed his skull into the pool bar in broad daylight.   At night she was actually photgraphed scratching women, punching women, pushing women into walls and doors, and pulling their hair while screaming accuastions that they were trying to "steal her man."  (Uhm, they were not).  She was literally carried out of the disco by staff once, legs and arms flailing.  The security, entertainment crew and management were well aware of her repeated physical assaults. I saw her shaking Richard Bourke's hand on the last night!   Maybe they could have been transferred to a less socially intense property.  Or maybe Hedo is the preferred storing ground for Superclubs' trash until their paid week is up?

Another issue management is aware of but should probably address: Having your regular guests sign a "no photo" contract - then imposing professional cameras on the guests *everywhere*, every day makes no sense.  All day photo shoots just outside the doors of even the furthest nude rooms?  Photo shoots of bikinied girls, on the nude beach all morning *and* all afternoon for 6 straight days?  We didn't get in the ocean once this trip because it was always in direct camera view.  Allowing non-photo-shoot photos to be taken in the water by the nude volleyball court - even after floating folks in the water complained.  Saw this go on two afternoons in a row (there was no model present).  There were so many fully clothed men with cameras (at least 10) it was impossible to discern what "photographers" were "legit."

And yes, my face, my lady's face, and those of my hedonist friends are now plastered all over the above mentioned sites.  And also on YouTube, thankyouverymuch.  What a pleasure to be sent links to yourself once you get home!  Hope the front desk employees can use those "no photo" contracts as kindling for heat on chilly nights.

But hey - what trip to Hedo would be complete without a round of camera dodging, psycho-spotting, and bruises.  If Hedo II managment would look into *actually* controlling camera use by regulating or posting "photo shoots" and taking measures to protect safety from proven violent guests... the next trip will be even better!

Brian and Fran  June 3-7, 2007