Hedonism II Trip Report: Nov. 17-20 & Feb. 17-26
By Mike & Betty
This is certainly long winded and may be too tedious for most, but I feel obligated to set down our experiences with as much detail as possible to educate some future Hedonist on what to expect on a typical trip and to set down in writing our adventures so that I might remember them in my old age.
Our 2nd Adventure to Hedonism II started on Nov. 17, 2004. Betty and I were excited to be heading back to our new found home. Our first trip had been just 9 months before and is outlined in our first trip report. We had planned on heading back in February again, but we just couldnt wait the whole year. So, our plans were set, we had read about the Spanksgiving Parade and wanted to be a part of it. Besides, it was a good time to take off over the holidays and skip the Family Gathering.
Wed.
The time finally came, and we were ready, but our Air Jamaica flight through Houston was not readyit had been cancelled. We scrambled the night before, and made arrangements with Delta. We were soon in the air flying Delta through Miami and on to Montego Bay. Betty handled the flight better than our first trip-I believe it was because she was eager to hit the beach and drop her clothes quickly. Our first trip she had waited half way through the trip to even drop her top.
At Montego Bay, we disembarked from the plane and flew through customs and quickly located the new Super Clubs facility. This was far nicer than we had experienced the year before, and we were handed bottles of cold water and our information taken to schedule our bus ride. This time, we were on a small bus that dropped off two couples at Grand Lido and us at Hedo II. There was no stop on the way. The scenery was a little less greenstill recovering from the hurricane, but all in all, everything looked like it was recovering. Well, we had tipped the porter to the bus and also the driver. Betty didnt even have much trouble with the rough bus drive.
We dropped the group at the Lido and were soon unloading at home. I began checking us in and Betty headed for the bar for some drinks. By the time, Betty returned, we were already checked in and our Garden Side Nude Room had been assigned. We were told to take our time going to the room and our bags would be waiting for us in our room.
We drifted through the Main Dining Room. I saw several ladies scantily clad in risqu clothes on our walk, and we made our way to Paulettes Bar on the Prude Side. We ordered another Frozen Vodka Slush and walked along the beach on the nude side down to Delroys soaking in the ambience and unwinding from our trip. Yes, everything was still as we remembered it. We finally headed back to our room. Found our room with no problem, and no sooner than we had settled in, our luggage arrived. New rooms were wonderful. Betty loved the showerheads, and Id like to note that there is a red button to adjust the temperature. However, in some of the rooms, the button is broken off. Simply depress the button and turn toward the higher or lower temperature marking. We were without water one morning during the short trip because they were working on the lines.
It had been a long day, and we both laid on the bed gazing up at the mirror. We had both changed out of our long sleeve pants and shirts and drifted off to sleep. About 2 hours later, we awoke, showered and changed for dinner. We wore shorts and tropical shirts. Our room was just off of the main dining room on the Nude Sidevery quick access to food (and spa). This was Wednesday Night, and we sat down to eat. We saw another couple sitting by themselves as well, and we started up a conversation with Anna and Barry that lasted our whole short-lived trip.
I would truly recommend that folks try to drop their inhibitions when arriving and actively seek to meet new people because that is where the true fun of Hedo is. Barry was on leave from Iraq and had flown half way around the world to meet up with his wife, and we truly enjoyed their company. I hope that everything is OK now that he is back in the desert. We said our good byes for the evening and promised to meet up again the next day. Betty and I took a quick trip to the Jacuzzi for a little semi-private time and went to bed early. We did not receive an invitation to the Repeaters Party.
Thurs.
We slept late the next morning, but we barely made breakfast and feasted on plates full of bacon. We sauntered by the craftsmen setting up their wares on the beach and grabbed towels at the dive shack. Soon we were soaking up the rays sans clothing along the beach. Trees had a few less leaves, but everything was glorious and the beach was pristine. The Nude Beach began gathering for the Anal Spanksgiving Day Parade. Betty and I hurried to the room and changed into our Indian outfits that we had brought and headed back to the beach. Betty looked stunning in her little Indian Maiden outfit, and I looked OK in my loin cloth. However, I would recommend that you not try to wear 2 lbs of long black hair for a wig on a hot Jamaican beach. I was literally melting in just a few minutes.
We soon gathered the parade and were marching down through the Prude Beach and on to Sandals. We were the objects of many of a photo and converted a few of the Lost Sandals Souls to the Hedonistic Way. The Salvaged Sinners were rewarded with beads for dropping tops or pants, and we finally ended our excursion and headed back to our beach chairs.
We spent the rest of the day relaxing at the beach and absorbed as many libations as we could. We had both tanned before leaving and were using Bullfrog Waterproof Sunscreen, so we were pretty safe from burning. We also enjoyed our first jerk chicken after 9 months of missing it. We stayed a little at the Nude Pool watching the various antics and headed back to our room to get ready for Toga Night.
We had decided to go with just the sheets provided. We had bought outfits for our first trip, but we had wanted to pack lighter and eliminated this unnecessary material. We did bring the arm bands and gold rope tie that had come with the store bought togas though. We met up with our new found friends and were introduced to Nancy and John from Houston and took photos in our outfits. It was nice to have some other Texans in the bunch. In the girls competition, Betty finished second and received Hedo Bucks. In the mens competition, thanks to my tremendous cheering section and despite my less than perfect physique, I won the bottle of rum. Sometimes, its more attitude than ability.
We capped this night with my very first cigarette in my lifea Jamaican herbal cigarette, and we spent the last several hours at the Jacuzzi watching a great variety of tremendous shows and partaking a little.
Fri.
Friday we hit the beach after breakfast, and I spent the day snorkeling on the Nude Beach and picking up shells in the shallow water. We had more chicken and headed back to the room to get ready for the Grand Gala. When we got back to the room, we had a message that Bettys ex-husband (and the father of her daughter) had died, and we had to make arrangements to leave prematurely. The resort was wonderful in making accommodations for us, and we were able to arrange a flight out for Saturday (bus leaving at 10:00 AM). It was much to soon to leave, and our new found friends were upset for us. We made the best of things at the Grand Gala. Betty wore high heels and a backless dress that was also cut down to her navel that was incredible. We each ate 5-6 lobsters and plenty of other food. The show was wonderful, and we tried to stop by the Piano Bar. Everything here was dead, so we visited the hot tub one last time and made arrangements to meet our friends for breakfast before we left.
Sat.
The next morning we awoke and made arrangements to check out early. When we arrived at the main desk, we were told that we had to get on the bus right away and there was no time for the bellhops to bring up our luggage. Betty and I rushed to our room grabbed our suitcases parked outside and rushed to the front and jumped on the bus. Once we got to the airport, we tried to get a hold of our friends to let them know, but we couldnt find them. It was only after returning home and working through Denny Ps site that we were able to let them know what had happened.
Part II
Mr. Bourke was wonderful in allowing us full use of our unused days at Hedo. He asked that we just schedule them in advance and sent me a letter of credit for this time. I had to call several times to actually get through to him, but once I spoke to him everything was wonderful. We rescheduled the balance of our trip for February 17-25 and then waited anxiously for the time to come. This was almost worstgetting just a taste on our trip before we had to leave. However, the 3 extra months allowed us to diet some more and tan some more to be in peak shape, and we would be returning the same week that we were there in 2004 (Bubbly Bares and all).
Thurs.
We again scheduled our flight for Air Jamaica through Houston, and the day of our flight, we discovered that the flight had again been cancelled. We flew into Houston and spent 9 hours at the airport waiting for another plane. Everything was shut down and we were kept company by two bus loads of Army heading for Iraq. We were finally able to switch out our tickets for Delta tickets and flew to Atlanta with a 4 hour lay over and then to Miami and then to Montego Bay. We were supposed to have arrived at 11:00 AM and ended up arriving at 2:00 PM for Toga Night. We spent 2 hours in the terminal waiting to go through Immigration (many people stated that it took them 3-4 hours). As soon as we came through the gate in front of Margaritaville, we were in line for Immigration/Customs. It seems that lines would shut down for 30 minutes at a time while the employees took breaks or something. I was told later by our driver that they had been staging a slow down and that it was on the news.
We went to the Super Clubs Lounge and grabbed us a Red Stripe to relax a little for our bus. When we arrived, they had already cancelled our room because of the delayed flight, but they worked everything out quickly, and we were on our way. We had one other couple going to the Lido on our bus, and we ended up stopping for beer on the way. I sampled their Ginger Beerit has quite a bite to it tasting almost like fresh sliced ginger root. We also bought some jerk chicken, and Betty ended up feeding most of it to a 3 legged dog at the stop. We were on the road and let our Lido friends in on the party at Hedo. They were down for a wedding and said that they wanted to make Toga Night at the disco.
Soon we were at our hotel and check in was a breeze. They sent our bags to our room in H-Block on the Nude side, and we headed for drinks at the bar and then down to Paulettes. She has the brightest smile and we love her vodka slushes. We made our way to our room and rested from our 36 hour flight ordeal. The suitcases arrived, and I tried to tip the bellman, and he refused the tipwhat a wonderful place. We skipped the toga festivities this night and had dinner and went to our room and slept until the next day.
Fri.
Hit the beach early and spent a lot of time snorkeling after breakfast. I ended up finding a total of 9 conch shells. One had a crab that jumped out when I picked it up, and two had critters in them. The others were all empty. One of the workers there asked me to give him the live conchs and he cleaned them showing us how to eat the penis and then saved the rest for his dinner. It was quite a chore, but I made it home with all of these empty shells and probably 3-400 small puka style shells. Wed leave the small ones out in the sun, and if they didnt try to wander off, wed keep them. Dozens of them were filled with tiny hermit crabs. I also saw numerous fish this day out close to the dock on the Prude side that literally attacked me for food. There were huge schools of fish swimming all around me. Starfish were numerous, as were sea urchins. I was also near the platform on the Nude Side and was startled by a huge Stingray that glided right under me that was as big as I was. For lunch we had burgers prepared by Robert. The lobster are gone from Roberts (and so is Robert much of the time). It seems that management is continuously moving folks from one position to another and from one shift to another. I spoke with many of them, and none seemed too happy. They just didnt have a place to call there own and werent given the consideration that they should have been for their longevity with the resort. It has to be difficult raising children and constantly changing shifts.
By the way, there is a letter posted from management that says that there will not be lobsters served at Roberts until further notice. I was also told that they actually stopped serving lobster because of complaints from guests because they were having to pay for the lobster and because the seafood was being cooked on the same grill with the hamburgers. We skipped the chicken tonight to save up for the Lobster at the Grand Gala. However, there was no lobster to be found on Friday. I was told by the server that the truck had broke down. But, the following Friday there was still no lobster. The shrimp that was substituted for it were large and good, but they sure werent lobster. This was a real disappointment since you cant buy it at Roberts anymore. I was told by transferees from the Lido that it is plentiful there. I guess management is just trying to keep costs down.
We spent Friday Night watching the antics at the Nude Jacuzzi and providing some of our own.
Sat.
Saturday, we went horseback riding and had a blast on our tour through the forest and down by the beach. Neither Betty nor I are great riders, but we enjoyed hearing about the plants and birds and watching the crocodiles. Betty also loved swimming her horse out in the ocean while I took photos. The ride took about 2 hours and we spent 30 minutes driving each way. We made it back to the beach and staked out our beach chairs and just enjoyed the island time creeping over us. The evening ended in the nude Jacuzzi watching the antics.
Sun.
We headed for the spa to relieve any sore muscles from the horseback ride. We opted for the Couples Massage with Betty receiving a Swedish Massage and I receiving the Deep Tissue Massage. I was amazed that a little 100 lb girl could work me over like she did. She did everything up to and including giving me a chiropractic adjustment and worked over every muscle, front and back for 80 minutes.
The rest of the time was spent absorbing Jamaican sun and trying to read a book I had bought at the airport. I was able to read one whole chapter during our entire stay.
This evening Betty proved again how amazing she was at identifying folks with whom we had corresponded before the trip. In the pitch black at 50 feet, Betty picked out a couple walking one of the dark paths and pretty much scared them to death by calling their name until they discovered who we were. For the rest of the trip, we had friends with whom to hang out.
Mon.
For the next week, we pretty much enjoyed the same things over and over. However, we made a point to spend some time at the Nude Pool (having missed most of the antics before). This time we quickly met up with two different couples from Canada (Jacqueline & John and Tim & Jen). Betty made friends quickly in that she cheered on Jacqueline to winning the Worst Tan competition. Jacqueline was definitely the whitest one there, but there was something about Bettys bouncing that helped (Betty received a huge string of Mardi Gras beads for her help from one of the guys at the bar). We had some great times with these couples, and we soon added to our group, Jimmy and Yvonne from Georgia and Michael & Julie from Nebraska, Randy & Debrah from Florida. Betty also made an acquaintance that proceeded to fondle her breasts, but she shut him down pretty quicklya little too touchy feely on first being introduced. We scheduled time to meet up for dinner throughout the next week and really enjoyed spending time with each couple. Jimmy was a riot from Georgia, and it was great to have another Southern Boy in the group and we enjoyed comparing living in the Sunny South with living in the Cold Northern Reaches of Canada. Incidentally, at dinner the roving cameraman took our photo, and we were glad to pay the $10 the next day for one of the photos that had all of us in them. Be sure to stop by here if your photo has been taken, they have some great shots, and they can usually go back 3-4 days without too much trouble to pick out your photo.
Tue.
We saw Jimmy & Yvonne at breakfast this morning, and we all decided to go into town to do a little shopping. We walked down to the front gate and checked out with the guard and picked up a taxi parked outside. Our driver spent the next 5 hours with us on our foray. We first stopped at Times Square, which is an upscale shopping area. There was everything from cheap knock off tourist stuff to fine jewelry. Betty particularly liked the opal & tanzanite rings. I bought a coffee table book on Jamaica, and we bought several postcards. When we were done, our driver was waiting for us to take us on into the market in Negril. We soon arrived at the collection of huts and stalls with everyone asking to to come see my nice things. We all bought several presents for folks back home, and I added to my carved wood fish collection from the first trip. I had one carver finish out a wooden hut with a palm tree made from one block of wood and stained cherry and green for my mother. They really have a large selection of wood carvings, and you can watch many of them being made right here. We had several Red Stripes while we were here ($2/Beer). By the way, they like getting the bottles back because there is a deposit on them.
While at the market, I was offered hash & pot many times, and we always turned them down. I learned on this adventure what the locals call Hedo II. I was wearing a Hedo tank top, and this was brought up several times. The call it The Zoofrom all of the antics and crazy things that go on there. In one shop I was being offered hash, and the owner quickly stopped talking and said to be quiet. There was an undercover Jamaican Cop wondering through the crowd. So, buyers beware.. We gathered up all of our stuff and made our way back to our taxi. He had been out with us almost 5 hours. As we left, he asked if I could give him some of the money that I owed him, and he bought a fresh fish that was being sold in the parking lot for him and his family. We made it back to Hedo, and the total cost was just $20. The animals had returned to their zoo.
This night, Betty and I were going to try the New Scotch Bonnet (Prude Beach Grill). We arrived promptly at the beginning of their first seating, and we had to wait about 15 minutes while they sat everything up. They added tablecloths and candlelight to the small number of tables. The service was excellent, and I thought the food was the best that we had on this trip. They had more traditional Jamaican dishes that were truly good, and we had a very good French wine as well. Dinner was excellent, and we ended it with a nice cheese cake. The moon was out with a million stars, and the waves of the ocean could be heard in the background, frogs serenading us, and Bob Marley playing on the stereo system, it was a great Jamaican Experience that we truly enjoyed. This has now become my favorite restaurant, and we plan on going back many times to come. It offers a quiet alternative to the hectic show at the Main Dining Room. However, I do not know what you would do if it rains.
After dinner, found our group and told them about our dinner, and before long we all went back to change into PJs for the disco. Betty and I were a little skeptical as we slipped into our outfits we had spent time agonizing about back home, and with much consternation, we headed to meet back up with our group. We had never been to the disco and were unsure exactly how to enter the place. It is surrounded by the water slide and a Jacuzzi on top; however, we discovered a door close to the Prude Bar and entered right onto the dance floor. The place was already packed with one girl dancing on the pole. We made our way through the crowd and were not dressed out of sorts at all. My Barking Dog Thong seemed to be a hit as did Bettys Vinyl Cut Out Body Suit with Mesh Stockings and High Heels. For several days, Betty still received compliments on her outfit that exposed her ample assets. We had passed through the dance floor and our group was having a tough time coming through the front door as there was a line. They finally came in and everyone was really floored by Bettys outfit. We tried dancing a little, but the place was completely packed and incredibly noisy. We hung around for a little while, but we ended up heading back to the Jacuzzi. Betty couldnt wait to jump out of the 6 inch heels she had been wearing, and we were soon enjoying a leisure time of vodka slushes, hot water and pdas.
Wed.
Betty and I decided to walk down the beach on Wednesday. We walked several miles, over half way to Negril and had a great time. The beach is much more primitive in spots, and we had a great time exploring. Around the hotels, you are not allowed to leave the High Tide area, and the guards at each hotel watch this pretty carefully. However, once you pass the hotels, youll find several areas where folks set up stands to sell their goods. We found much cheaper prices here along the beach than anywhere else. Prices seemed to be roughly half the price and there were quite a few characters with which to talk. We bought several anklets and other trinkets, and we sat and talked and made friends with several locals. We bought several Red Stripes out of ice chests, and we met one guy that had some really neat wood carvings. Betty also bought a painting along the way for $10 which is an excellent workthe artist needed money. We also found a young entrepreneur that was swimming out into the ocean and bringing back conch shells and selling them for $1. He had a pile of 30-40 shells laying right at high tide. We bought one from him, and I later dug several out of the sand dunes that had washed ashore and been buried. We also ran onto one lady from Couples that was having a Jamaican Experience and we were offered the same by a friend of his not too far away. We politely passed on this. We also stopped off and spoke to one of the security guards on the way back. He had been stationed at a house on the beach that he said was owned by the manager of Hedo II, and he was looking after the place. We made our way on back, and Betty bought a shawl from one lady with whom she had struck up a conversation. The lady was a single mother and said she sold on the beach a couple of times per week.
We were soon back home, and made it to the bar for a drink and back to the room to rest and enjoy the mirror view a little before we headed back to dinner. We again did not receive an invitation to the Repeaters Party.
Since most of our group planned on going Jamaican tonight after hearing our positive feedback yesterday, we met up with Jimmy & Yvonne by ourselves for dinner in the main dining room. After dinner, we made our way to the hot tub and saw our whole gang there again. Bettys night was made when a lady from across the Jacuzzi came up and asked if she could lick her nipples. Betty turned red (you could see it even in the dark), and while she appreciated the offer, she declined the request. There continued in our group a lot of banter and lively conversationmost of which centered on me promising to name a calf after each one of our group when they are born this year (we have a small 100 acre ranch here in Texas).
Thu.
We spent the day at the beach enjoying the fun and games, and we had a running joke about one fellow that we called the butcher. We called him that because he had meat hanging. Later, our group was meeting for the Toga Party at dinner so we all went to our rooms to change and met back down stairs for dinner. On this night, our extended group all met up, but there was a bit of a problem because some smoked, and we were sitting near the Photo Shack where it is No Smoking. I was surprised to learn that they had a No Smoking area in this open air area. Our group could stand up and walk 3 feet and smoke, but not at the table, and they strictly enforced this. Our big group seemed to always have a problem sitting close enough to even see the stage, and we did not feel right about saving tables for hours on end. I wish this practice could be stopped because some of the best seats sat vacant for most of the night.
Somehow, I was coerced into going on stage for the Traditional Toga Contest, and I received many cheers from my cohorts and ended up coming in second and won more Hedo Bucks. It was all good fun.
After dinner, we spent a short time at the Nude Jacuzzi and then we went searching and found a semi-private Jacuzzi located behind the spa that we had never noticed before. The privacy was appreciated when compared to the crowd in the Nude Jacuzzi, and we had a great time telling stories and enjoying the hot jets. The girls found the amazing jets on the floor of the Jacuzzi which added to the entertainment. A couple of times, I put on my towel and made the run to the Main Bar for fresh drinksI was the designated drink b---- for the evening. It was nice to be able to control the speed of the jets and the temperature of the water, and each couple put on their own show before we finally called it a night. One problem with these Jacuzzis is that they shut off automatically every 15 minutes, and you had to restart them. I would also say that no more than 4 should play at a time.
Fri.
Our last Friday we all had dinner together and we toasted a newer addition to our group that were getting married on Saturday. Ron & Deb from Pennsylvania had been corresponding with Jimmy, and we finally got to meet them. At the end of dinner, I went to the Floor Supervisor, and he sent over bottles of champagne that made a great end to our trip. I wish that we could have made the wedding on Saturday. Later on at the Jacuzzi was sad because we had to say good bye to all of our new found friends. We had also learned that our 5:00 PM Saturday Air Jamaica Flight had been cancelled, and we were now on an 11:00 AM Delta Flight to Miami, Atlanta, Houston and then Dallas again. It would be another all day adventure to get home. I would not recommend arranging an Air Jamaica flight. I was told by one of the ticket people that they were shutting down their operation in Houston in April.
In spite of our airline problems and Jamaican Customs/Immigration, we had a great time and spent many more days Nude than on our First Trip. We also explored the Public Sex thing a little more and never saw any security talk to anyone at all about this. The last night there, Betty & I were on the side of the Nude Jacuzzi going at it for all we were worth.
The only problems we had with the resort was: (1) the lack of lobsters (2) no shampoo for a couple of days (3) inconsistent quantities of towels and washcloths and never a rug like some of the other rooms had (4) poor quality wine and champagne at the Main Dining Hall (5) no water one afternoon because they were adding pipes to increase the pressure in some of the nude rooms.
All of these things are somewhat picky, but they should be improved.
To our new found friends: I am beginning to name calves for each of you here in Texas, and Ill send you their photos soon. You made our trip amazing.
Next time we are going on the catamaran and finally trying the waterslide.
Mike & Betty
Dallas, TX
(Looking at February 2006 for the 4th trip).