This year, instead of doing a blow-by-blow (no pun intended) report of our trip, we decided to focus on what made this trip memorable. The good, the bad and the ugly.
We felt as if wed come to the alternate-universe Hedo II, and all week, we continually said to ourselves WTF? Because:
1) I saw women (no, not just one) wearing (brace yourself) capris and ponchos to dinner. WTF? Did they take a left turn at the supermarket and end up at Hedo? Did I walk to Sandals and didnt realize it? I actually felt a little self-conscious in my slutwear. And my outfits are TAME in comparison to some weve seen in previous years.
2) We had hot water every day, for every shower. I know, we thought wed somehow walked over to Grand Lido. I thought of calling for room service, too.
3) I heard James Taylor and ABBA on the same day at the nude pool. At this point, I was SURE wed walked over to Sandals. I dont think I heard Short **** Man or My Neck, My Back once.
4) The power went out repeatedly. Once was as we stood in the foyer of Pastafaris. It was so dark, you couldnt see your hand in front of your faceor anyone elses. (Hey, whose hand is that on my leg?) One day, it was out for several hours during the morning. That means no fornicatrium waterfall, no melted cheese for nachos, no music, no blended drinks. Oh, the humanity! Beruit..I know thats where we are.
5) I got 40-something mosquito bites while there.more than ever before. Ohh, ohhh, I know! Weve somehow walked and ended up in southeast Asia.
6) Lots of people got unexplained rashes all over their bodies, and it wasnt sun-related. Yep, that water in Asia has some scary organisms living in it...or maybe its MexicoI dunno
7) There were Vinnies everywhere! And it seemed as if most of them were night-pass local guys. They were far more aggressive and at times, I didnt feel really safe, even while sitting at dinner in the dining room. Ahwere in the US... and its a dance club. I knew Id figure it out eventually.
8) The weekends were more jumpin than the week. Apparently, lots of people were doing weekend trips or traveling Thursday to Thursday. On about Tuesday or Wednesday, we looked around the pool at 3 in the afternoon, and there were maybe 10 people in the pool and there were lots of empty chairs. Again, WTF? Damn, back to Sandals.
9) By about Thursday, we didnt clamor to get the jerk chicken. Robert was only there 2 days during our stay, and it just didnt taste as good unless he was there. Hmmmm..I give up.I dont know where the hell we are.but it damn sure aint HOME.
10) By our last day, we were ready to go home.and I mean Alabama.
Although our trip was fun, and still the best place to have our vacation, Hedo did not feel like home this year.