Becki (ErthChyld)-September 2 - 6, 2005

RESPECT ALWAYS, FOR EVERYONE, IN ALL SITUATIONS

DISCLAIMER: All dates and times are approximate (due to intoxication/sleep deprivation) :) All names have been changed to protect the innocent guilty. Hehehehe This is my first trip report and my first trip to Jamaica. Having never traveled out of the country or been on a real "resort" vacation, I got all the information I could to be prepared. Thank you so much to Chris Santilli for writing "The Naked Truth About Hedonism II." It is absolutely a MUST READ for anyone going to H2 the first time. A big Thank You to all the people here on Denny Ps site who answered the 1001 questions I had!!

THE FLIGHT - My flights were Sacramento to Atlanta to MBJ. The initial flight was delayed for more than 2 hours. Thankfully, in this case, I had a 4 hour lay-over in Atlanta so I did not miss my connecting flight to MBJ. Due to various factors I was only able to squeeze out 1 hours of sleep on the red-eye flight. The lay-over in Atlanta was just enough time to find the gate for the next flight, find a Starbucks, get international roaming & international text messaging activated on my cell phone(AT&T/Cingular), and relax for a little while waiting for the flight to board. Landed in Jamaica on schedule 1:15pm Central Time Zone.

CUSTOMS/IMMIGRATION - The walk to Customs/Immigration was through a maze of an airport that appeared new/under construction. By the time I got down to Customs/Immigration I was sweating from the heat and humidity. This process was simple with a long wait. There were a lot of people in line. They ask you were you are going to stay and how long you will be there and the purpose of your trip. Then off to baggage claim. My bag with the scuba equipment was definitely searched thoroughly but nothing broken or missing. The SuperClubs lounge was pretty easy to find. In no time we were on the bus to H2.

THE BUS RIDE - I would never even attempt to drive there. One drives on the left side of the road *usually*! LOL Through towns the road is literally a one lane road that is used as a two lane road. Whoever wrote the bus ride scene in the Harry Potter movie went on this ride, I am positive of that! LOL The space between vehicles during evasive maneuvers was INCHES! We almost hit a child. Wanting to avoid a massive heart attack before reaching Hedo, I occupied myself chatting with my fellow passengers(one couple I had e-mailed a few times before going) and watching the countryside. In areas, the stark poverty is painfully apparent. The entire island is lush tropical greenery with beautiful turquoise water. During the bus ride is when I got my first taste of real keylimes. They are very good but hard to get off the tongue. If you've had them then you know what I am talking about. We had a pit stop where everyone got red stripe beer/drinks, had a cigarette, and used the bathroom.

CHECKING IN AT THE RESORT - When I got off the bus I was met by another couple I had e-mailed a few times prior to the trip. Hugs from friends at the door. What could be better? Checking in was relatively painless. Keys and safe lock in hand I headed off to my room with one of the Hedo staff wheeling my bags on a cart. Everyone is so nice and accommodating. There is an orientation. I did not read the paperwork they gave me at check in so missed that part. I will take the tour next time. It would have been easier to know where and when to find everything. It wasnt until the last morning a few hours before I had to leave that I even ran across the circus area/equipment. LOL

HITTING THE BEACH - This was my first time nude in public. I had psyched myself up for it but was still a little apprehensive. The best advise I got on this was get out there right away or you will kick yourself for wasting that time. So, I did... after a few pep-talks with myself and 3 4 well maybe 5 false starts LMAO! Forty years of societys conditioning that it is wrong to be nude in public was harder to break than I thought. Off I went down the beach to the nude pool area, wearing just a sarong. Once I passed the "Nude Beach, No cameras allowed" sign, I slid the sarong down to my waist. At Delroys I got my drink and met Delroy himself. Very nice man and excellent bartender! I told him I had heard lots about him from "regulars" and felt like I already knew him. I gave him a hug and told him I was very sorry for his loss(he lost his mother recently). A little chat and a thumb rub later, I was headed over to the lounge chairs on the beach. At this point it wasnt that hard to take the sarong off. The person who said " No body will notice you being naked. You will stand out more with your clothes on than off." was absolutely right! The water is VERY warm and VERY salty. It was so salty it stung when I got it in my eyes. Although, being up for more than 26 hours at this point might have contributed to the sting. lol I met someone shortly after I got naked on the beach that I spent a fair amount of time with over the next few days. He was a Hedo virgin also. Thank you Sexy!

THE FOOD - In the main dining area there was an excellent spread all the time. Breakfast was great with Charlie making the best omelets. There was fresh fish every night. At least two vegetables were served each night. Most nights there was someone making individually tossed Cesar salads. Fresh fruits were on hand all day long. Nightly there was a choice of at least two kinds of meat besides the fish. Ten to fifteen different desserts were displayed at dinner. Each afternoon Roberts Grill opened up next to Delroys Bar at the Nude pool. The burgers and fries were great. I think Roberts claim to fame is really his jerked chicken served daily at 4:30 pm. Yum!

A SINGLE WOMAN AT HEDO II - I will say that the only reason a woman sleeps alone at Hedo II is she wants to sleep alone. My advise to any single women thinking of going - Smile and say HI to your fellow vacationers when you pass them on the path. Strike up a conversation with the guy across the bar who is making you laugh. Act like everyone is your friend. Flirt to your hearts content. Allow yourself to feel as Beautiful as you are. All women are goddesses at H2, no matter your size, shape, age, color, scars, income, debt, profession, past, future, etc. I saw very few "perfect bodies" while there. To all the not-so-perfect ladies out there, this place puts you on the same level playing ground with the sexy, young, perfect bodied and even surgically enhanced women out there. Once you are naked its no longer about what your clothing is hiding or telling. It is about you as a person! My ego has been boosted tremendously. There has been a subtle but undeniable shift to my mind set, for the good, that I will hold onto tenaciously. Next trip will be even better. Oh, by the way, Jamaican men really are grown bigger!(much bigger) Trust Me! ;)

A WORD OF CAUTION TO WOMEN ALONE - As with anywhere in the world, you can find yourself in a bad situation. In general a firm No Thank You will suffice in most cases. There was a young staff member who did get overly aggressive. When I came out of the nude pool/hot tub bathroom, he was there. I was more than just a little drunk/stoned. He tried to aggressively maneuver me into a room that looked like it was for the pool pump and stuff. I was trying to say "I dont want to go in there" between his attempted kisses. At about the time I started feeling out of control and started to consider my options, a security guard came around the corner. He barked the staff members name and started speaking to him in patois. The tone was angry. I quickly left and went back to the pool. Because the security guard had intervened I didnt mention it to the people I was partying with. I never saw him again. Do know, if you are in a bad situation, all you have to do is yell for help. Without a doubt in moments you will have every male guest, staff member, and security guard within earshot at your side. Hedo is all about RESPECT ALWAYS, FOR EVERYONE, IN ALL SITUATIONS. Hedo is like a family and you are never alone. Even questionable sounds from "BJ Cave" are investigated by other guests.

THE GANJA - That is some butt-kickin ganja. The man in the blue water taxi(Keith) sold me excellent ganja at a good price. I didnt feel the need to haggle because he sold to me for less than the price I would pay at home for more than twice the amount of ganja! He even offered to roll it all for me when I asked about a pipe and told him I sucked at rolling joints. There is also a nice guy in a brown boat (king-something is on the side of the boat), who has the same excellent ganja(he shared during a taxi ride to go parasailing). I would recommend both of these men for taxi services and of course the Ganja. Anything you want in the way of drugs is available. I dont do any other drugs and didnt while I was there. So, I cant speak intelligently about anything else.

THE NUDE POOL/HOT TUB - The nude pool has a swim up bar. How awesome is that? You dont have to get out, dry off, get your clothes on or run anywhere for another drink. My first night there naked body shots were goin on. My partner-in-crime and I talked a few guys into climbing on top of one of the in-pool tables so we could lick/suck rum cream off their bodies. I just wish I had known about the floating lounge chair pads then. Mid-afternoon the nude pool was the place I went to cool off, have a couple of drinks, chat about the scuba diving with a couple of other divers, watch the shows the ECs would instigate (naked fashion show, naked twister, best tan/no tan, etc), share a little ganja with anyone who cared to participate, and have a good time. Anytime of the day PDAs are going on in and around the nude pool. Monday afternoon we had a lively group in the pool. The body shots were going on and getting interesting. Eventually, people were being kidnaped from the side of the pool to be the body for the shot(it was all in good fun and nobody really objected). That afternoon the ECs came over to the pool and announced there were 12 women around the hot tub who needed "attention." The man who could get his woman to cum first won. I do believe the last one also won. All received Hedo Bucks for participating. The nude hot tub is the place to see and participate in PDPs anytime but especially after dark. WooHoo!!!

VINNIES/WALLIES - We had a group of 4 Vinnies patrolling the nude waters. One was even using his camera-phone to take pictures in the nude pool. For me Vinnies tend to put a damper on public displays of anything. Clapping, cheering, encouraging, appreciating the show is one thing, acting like a drooling, grunting neanderthal is another. When it was obvious the Vinnies werent leaving the nude hot tub till everyone else did my friend and I just took it elsewhere. One night as I left the pool, one of the vinnies was sitting on a picnic bench and called me over. I went over and started talking to him. Poor guy wasnt having a good time and just didnt get it. I tried to explain about the respect. He couldnt wrap his brain around it. He thought he understood but he really didnt, our conversation proved that. He went on to tell me he had been propositioned by a prostitute. Therefore, the women he saw with different guys at night must be prostitutes. His spin was that Hedo was a Brothel. I explained the ratio of single men to women averages about 4-1. I asked him if he had observed me with different guys, would he think I was a prostitute? He said "Ya, cuz thats just aint right!" I knew at that point I wasnt going to be able to explain it to him. If I had told him a good portion of the couples there were swingers his head probably would have exploded. I did encounter a Wally-gator. He was harmless though. Took a subtle hint and prowled on.

SCUBA - The scuba diving was great for me. My first salt water/tropical dive and my first dive greater than 34 feet were done at Hedo. Because I dont know what the reef was like prior Ivan and the most recent hurricanes, I was clueless as to the damage I was observing. The sea grass that had been 6-8 feet tall on the top of the reef was dead and filled in with sand and in spots no longer there at all. Large portions of the reef are dead. The second dive I saw some vivid colored coral. Later I was told that the entire reef had been that way at one time. There were lots of brightly colored fish in schools and alone. I saw rays, flounder, sea anemone, and a sea cucumber. That was weird. I even saw an airplane.

There is still so much I didnt go into detail about but this is too long already. The Parasailing was unbelievable. The wood carvings were gorgeous. There are some really talented wood carvers there. The sun is intense. More than one person was sporting a lobster red hide. I was burned twice with little exposure. A little Aloe fixed me right up though. I had a wonderful time and could not have asked for a better 40^th birthday vacation. A special thanks to Liz & Tony, Jeff & Laurie, Leslie, Christopher, Gunny and many others that were so much fun to party with!!! Until my next trip! Respect Mon!

Peace, Love & Joy,