Hedo II trip report Friday 19^th November to the 30^th 

So, there I was, after 16 hours travelling, walking into the Super Clubs lounge at Sangster (7:50pm). Only a couple more hours to go and then my little adventure would really begin. Was handed the phone at the desk which I thought was a little odd, then found it was Island Girl welcoming me to Jamaica, a really nice touch which helped me feel at home (thanks Hon) .

The bus ride was ok. Only three of us on the bus, the others were a Belgian couple whom I had spotted at Heathrow and discovered were staying at GL. They were a little quiet at first and turned down the initial offers of a drink: Within 45 minutes they were accepting beers and asking if they could come visit me at Hedo promising start

Check in was quick and easy, they got the length of my stay wrong, but I sorted that in the morning. The room was fine, dumped the bags and set off for a look round the prude side and get my bearings. Had a beer at the beach bar and a snack from the grill. There seemed to be a load of models around on a photo shoot. Not impressed, not there to see a bunch of preening airheads in swimsuits. Time for the Hedo experience to begin!!

Back to the room, off with the clothes, wrap a towel around, deep breath and off we go. Now, I know I had read that PDA can be rare, so when the towel came off and I walked passed the Hot Tub I expected to see nothing. Spotting an attractive blonde lady giving head on the side of the Tub I thought Id best not stare, not having had time to introduce myself, so I looked to my left only to see another lady getting pumped vigorously on one of the loungers: Perhaps time for another beer

Andre, the barman was great fun and proved to be excellent the whole time I was there. Had a couple of drinks, acclimatised and got in the Hot Tub for a while. Not much to say, except that the first time nude had passed off ok, probably cheating by doing it in the dark tomorrow was to be another day.

Hit the beach straight after breakfast. Going naked turned out to be most natural and no problem at all. What was an issue was finding a free lounger, as it seems people set their stuff out before breakfast to stake their claim . Anyway, after one sentence of the book I thought sod this, Im here to meet people not to read so I went to the bar, had a chat with Delroy and located the Senator. As he was in the pool I got in and introduced myself, after a chat with Scott I began talking with another chap who invited me to meet his wife & friends. This was a big stroke of luck as they all became good friends and instituted the wives club This meant that one wife a day took charge of ensuring I had sufficient sun screen on my back life can be hell sometimes

Please note this overview will not be in chronological order: Just live with it

On the Tuesday I attended my first Hedo wedding. They were very nice people I had met a couple of days before and to say the event was a new experience would be to somewhat understate things It was interesting to see how swiftly the Minister left; this was not bad manners, just the fact that he was near to collapse due to wearing a suit in the Jamaican sun. It was also interesting to note how swiftly the staff left the reception. This I suspect had more to do with what they knew might happen next Im sure the happy couple will remain so for a long time to come, they are adults who understand each other really well, great fun and obviously in love. All the best for the future A&D.

I was delighted to be invited and glad to experience something so different from what one is used to. One of the funniest moments took place the day before when someone in the nude pool asked me who was getting married: After I had pointed them out, the questioner (not being in the lifestyle), appeared suitably confused

I also met a very brave young lady at Delroys. She had married very young, raised the kids divorced the husband and was taking her FIRST EVER vacation (anywhere) at Hedo to celebrate her birthday ON HER OWN Time for the protective arm and to introduce her to all the great folks I had met, then again not too sure she needed much help. Just think that sort of step took real guts, would be kind of easier for a guy. For the curious, this was the Butterfly. Who may feature later, depending on what I include.

A little earlier I had encountered our very own Parrot. Having spotted a rather strange, yet familiar, figure approaching the bar I felt I should introduce myself. To be fair to the man he did not run It would always be hard to form an accurate opinion of someone just from his or her posts. Parrot turned out to be a slightly shyer individual (meant in the nicest way possible M****S) than I expected with no arrogance to him at all. A little odd, he is in IT after all, with a major coffee problem. Mind you, once you introduce Parrot to people and he feels comfortable in the company: Well, its like lighting the blue touch paper on a firework I cant even begin to tell you all what happened when I introduced him to a couple in the nude pool; except to say, That was one big smile man He was great fun and E swears by his foot massage actually so does her husband, on the grounds that Parrot took care of a lot of her needs. Enabling J to sit with me, share a drink, relax and smoke his cigars

Before I consider any other moments, let us look at the food. I had suggested to the Pampered Princess before I left that the European perspective might be a little different. Adequate is the best description I can come up with. Too much of the food is prepared for mass catering, anything steamed or left on a hot plate for too long will be tasteless. So it proved. I am mainly referring not to the meat or fish, just to the vegetables that one tends to put on the plate to accompany the main item. This is also a comment mainly on the fare served up in the main dining room and at breakfast (yes the omelettes were great and worth standing in line for). The burgers etc from the grills were what one may expect, but it would be nice to see them trying to make their own burgers for example take away the environment and the burgers themselves were of the factory produced variety. Then again, when eaten they were just to fill a gap & soak up some of the alcohol. They were also always served with a smile. I understand they will be trying to improve the catering, they should do.

At mealtimes we were always well looked after by the staff, bringing cold water and juice, appearing at ones shoulder as if by magic when needed. In fact, all the lower paid staff, who actually do the stuff for us, were fabulous. The management I may touch on later

Sod it!! I will mention them now. This is the day of the three beds in my room For those who are unaware; I booked for three nights single then eight nights sharing with Scrub. When his new job prevented him coming I was always facing the possibility of an unknown victim (sorry person) sharing my room. Day eight I had retired to my room for an early evening nap possibly alone maybe not this was irrelevant. Quell surprise, when I opened my door the two beds previously in residence had been replaced by a king size bed (not sure if there had been a petition or not!). Anyway, that was nice.

An hour or so later the door burst open (not even a knock), framed by the light pouring through the doorway was a very large porter and a slightly smaller American chap. If there was someone with me she was now hiding under the sheet, if there was no one else there that bit did not happen The porter indicated that this chap was going to share the room with me. I pointed out that there was only one bed and as politely as possible informed them that he was not getting in it with me (and anyone else, who may or may not have been there). They appeared to understand and made a polite exit. Back to being on my own (or not depending if anyone else was there or not). 20 minutes later there was a loud and repeated banging on the door, somewhat wearily, I wrapped a towel on and opened the door to be confronted by a lady I took to be the night manager.

This was to turn out to be one of the most insulting exchanges a paying guest could ever experience. Not withstanding the fact that a note 8 days into an 11 day stay informing me I was due to get a room sharer later that day would have seemed to be a common courtesy, forgetting the lack of a knock on the door earlier, what was to come was so rude as to be almost unbelievable. I was told that I should be sharing and what was my problem? When I pointed out the one bed AND that it had only been installed earlier that day was there even an apology for an administrative mistake? No, just a demand that I vacate the room within 10 minutes to enable the beds to be changed. I refused. 15 minutes then? NO 30? No. I explained that the one (or more) persons might need 40 minutes or more to have a shower and get changed for dinner, Lobster night. This was taken with very bad grace by the staff member concerned. Had I been more with it at the time I would have said leave my room alone until the morning, but some things catch you on the hop. This was just appalling behaviour by the staff member concerned and quite ruined my night. When I got back many hours later I was back to two single beds but no roommate I think he, quite understandably, was not prepared to wait for another hour for his room. It seemed this lady was used to ordering her staff around and failed to understand that a guest is a paying guest!! Bear in mind, Hedo had been very busy for Thanksgiving, but was now quiet until the arrival of the WWW group on the Wednesday. Sorry to still be cross, but Hedo is not a $20.00 a night motel SOME respect would be nice!! Comes back to my earlier point about the non-management staff being so great. I have to say that I have never seen staff in a bar work harder than they do at Delroys during the day; and they still kept smiling. Perhaps the management should give that a try. No more moaning, but that bit really pissed me off.

Speaking of Delroy, we were both so busy (he was working, I was "busy" resting), that we had no real time for a long chat + he was off a bit for his birthday in my first week However, I gave him a rugby ball at the end of my trip with a note asking for it to be given to local children his smile could have lit up the night sky. Only a little thing, yet really appreciated, I hope the kids enjoy their play. I heard Tista lost his home during Ivan: Its a different world when we get home! Here am I moaning about a bit of discourtesy

Sorry to put in a couple of things that annoyed me, but this has to be an honest report apart from the 90% which I feel best to leave out

Scrub asks if I had new eyes I put my watch in the safe and put my alarm on J time for the occasional point of reference. Yes, I do have new eyes in so many ways. I also realised how chained we are to the clock. For the first few days I found myself looking at my left wrist for no reason I eventually realised I was looking for the time WHY!! It was so good to understand that I was finally somewhere it did not matter.

Look, the food is average at best, the rooms are no more than ok, the air conditioning is antiquated and noisy, the management are poor. The staff that look after you are wonderful, the setting is fabulous, Parrot is of a similar species and the people you meet could just be the best on the planet. Why would one want to go anywhere else

For example: By the bar, in the pool. A cry reaches my ears Are you the famous Trucker I glance around in panic Who could this be ; someone who knows me from home Oops But no, Im confronted by this huge mug, which conceals the identity of the person behind (F**k me, you would not be able to see Meatloaf behind this one ). The mug wades closer; panic sets in Then a refreshing cry comes from behind this monstrous construction of., More beer. Revealing the weightlifter as Joeby a vaguely crazed Floridian demanding to know where my copy of the London Times is. I try to pretend I am Parrot, but the game is up, my name is on my mug and I know Im doomed What an introduction to one of the nicest people I have ever met Only problem with Joe is that if a cloud came over for two seconds he started to shiver

How many great people did I meet? J&J, D&P, W&J, J&E, D&C, R&K..(Parrot ), could do initials for hours. So many really special people. I was a very lucky chap to meet so many couples and singles who made this trip so special. It was also so good to be able to bring some people together: like W&J, lovely people W hailed from NI in her past and to introduce them to D from her old country was great as they had a lot in common and loads to talk about. D was also great when the sun was too high I just had to stand next to him when shade was required.

Want the naughty bits The description of the mid-afternoon 100-person orgy in the nude pool Sorry, not this time folks. Catch me alone after a few beers; still a no. What happens at Hedo stays at Hedo

I had a truly wonderful time. A lot of people helped me make it the time of my life. For any of those who read this, you know who are; thanks.

For those on this site who helped me make the decision to go and armed me with the information I needed to make the most of things - thank you all.

Ive missed out loads, so if you have any questions, just start a topic and ask me.

Not many from the original trip made it in the end. But Thanksgiving was one hell of a week to go. I loved every second ok a little concerned they ran out of beer 10 times but do believe that was due to John (Mugsey), wrecking their supply lines, Im innocent: Honest!! So hi to the Montrealers, Parrot, Chris, Ceri and who could forget Joe!! Grin!!By the way Irish Joe has nothing to do with this trip or site: But his personality could light up the Mines Of Moria what a man

Would be a great time of year to do it again. I would suggest 16th November onwards If we left it to December we would have to face the Pampered Princess. As much as I love her I think a few more trips could be in order before I could cope with you H

I found my way home. Thank you to all of you who helped light the way.

Truck happy but humble xxxx
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Keep on having fun