Pat & Lynn - April, 2002

Hedo II, First Trip, April 27 - May 4

Okay, I admit it.  Im very long winded.  Id prefer
to say that my verbosity is prolific, but that would
only be proving the point further <wink>.  So heres
the executive summary for those of you looking for the
salient few points.  The rooms were fine.  The staff
was okay.  The food was very good.  The nude areas
were very busy and the prude side, well, we have no
idea.  The Vinnies were there in number and sometimes
rude.  The improvements were excellent but Hedo spent
far too much time on the prude side. We drank too
much, ate too much, had an amazing time and absolutely
loved every minute of it.  We met a bunch of super
people and made some very good friends.  I can not
possibly say this next part strong enough.  People
make Hedo what it is and we fortunate enough to be
with the very best.  Well be back!

This was our first trip to Hedo.  We had previously
been to Couples in Ocho Rios before so we had
experience with the nude beach thing.  However,
Couples was, in our experience, far too tame at night.
 So, we decided to try Hedo II.  After being there, I
can say with complete confidence that we have found
home.

We had actually booked back in November so we had
plenty of time to think about this one.  We went with
Biffs Bunch, and I have to say this was about the
nicest group of people we ever met.  I mean no
disrespect to any other group that travels to Hedo or elsewhere.
Im sure theyre all wonderful.  But our personal experience with the Bunch was nothing short of superb.  
We were welcomed openly and warmly by everyone.

We had done a lot of research before showing up
including reading every "tips" document on the
Internet.  We read Chris Santillis book, The Naked
Truth About Hedonism II, which by the way made
everything much easier to handle upon arrival.  We
also read Dennys web site and posted our trip dates
ahead of time to chat with some others.  If youre
heading to Hedo, by all means, make a few
acquaintances ahead of time.  It makes it much easier
to get into the flow of Hedo if you have friends
waiting for you.

We wont get into travel details except to note that
the airports are doing random checks of not only carry
on but also checked luggage.  After a few tense
moments wondering how wed explain some of our packed
items <eg> we were on our way.  We managed to get to
MoBay only about an hour late, a new record by NW
standards I think.  We met up with some of the Bunch
at the TimAir desk and made our way across the
airport, a semi-cold Red Stripe in hand, to the TimAir
plane.

We got paired up with another couple that was going to
some other resort in Negril.  We introduced ourselves
and asked where they were going.  They did likewise
and when we answered, Hedo, that was the last time
they talked to us - LOL.  Oh well.  Our pilot was all
business, which seemed odd given the reputation of the
TimAir pilots.  It turns out that a flight the
previous day had encountered gusty winds and ended up
crashing, tearing off the wings, the engine and the
front wheel.  The two passengers on board miraculously
escaped with just minor bruising and aches.  No wonder
our pilot wasnt fooling around.

We soon found ourselves in the Hedo reception area
with about 20+ other people trying to get a room. 
Youd think that the process of check-in would be a
lot simpler than this.  We put on our best smiles and sweet-talked every staff member in sight.  
We still ended up getting bumped to a prude side garden room for one night, 
which wasnt the worst thing in the world.  We threw the bags 
in the room and made our way directly for the nude pool area.  
Five minutes later, we stood at Delroys with our 32oz mugs filled.

Saturday becomes something of a blur since its hard
getting used to 32oz drinks and it certainly took its
toll on me.  We met another couple that we had chatted
with before getting to Hedo and had a blast.  We also
ran into a nice couple who were there teaching sexual
Tai Chi.  That was a lot of fun too.

Speaking of PDAs (we were, weren't we?), we were at
the pool all of about 10 minutes before seeing a lady
being very nice to her gentleman friend.  It only got
much wilder from there on.  There were PDAs by the
pool, the hot tub, the beach, the rafts, and even the
disco.  There were no sex police anywhere and that was
fine for us.  Nobody was harming anyone else, they
werent getting in anyone elses face and the events
were normally short lived, very spur of the moment and
playful.  So we just sat back and enjoyed the view and contributed as we could.  
It didnt take us long to adjust to this and take it all in very matter-of-factly.  
I guess, if I looked over at the car next to me in traffic on the 
way to the office and saw a bunch of people having sex now I 
probably wouldnt think much of it.  Well, maybe not, but I would be 
willing to test that theory out if there are any volunteers.

The following day, we finally got our ocean view nude
room, just a short walk from Delroys.  The days do
run together so well try to hit the high points. 
Sunday was pool games and lots of lying in the sun. 
The weather was great although it rained briefly
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons.  Nothing to
wash out the day but enough to give us a much needed
break.

We played volleyball against the prudes on Sunday
afternoon.  It was arranged by the ECs, but most of
the prudes left when we showed up.  A few hung around
and we converted most of them to nude so it ended up
being the nudes versus the nudes.  We kept meeting all
these great people everyday and as the days wore on,
we had a very nice core group of people hanging out
together.  A special thanks to Lucky and Dainty, a
couple of excellent ECs with the right attitude!

Monday, some friends got remarried out on the nude
beach point.  Lynn and I did it the following day as
did some other new friends of ours.  You can have the
wedding almost anywhere you want except in the hot tub
from what I can gather.  We had our reception on the
nude beach but most have theirs in Veronicas. 
Veronicas is much better air conditioned than the
beach too!  I had surprised Lynn by keeping it all a
secret until Sunday.  I also surprised her with a new
ring during the ceremony.  The look on her face was
certainly worth it.  Lorna in the office was a real
gem and did so much for us in getting everything
arranged!  If youre going to renew your vows, I
recommend doing it later in the week after youve met
lots of new friends.  Youll have a blast.

Maybe the nicest compliment we got all week was from a
couple that we met early during our stay.  After
watching us together for a few days and talking with
us, they told us that the two of us got along so well
together that our marriage had restored their faith in
marriage in general. Thats just not a compliment you
expect at Hedo and we really appreciated that a lot!

Hedo is one more example of a place where couples
really need to be totally up front with each other. 
We had very clearly defined rules for the week.  I
cant stress enough how important this is at Hedo.  We
agreed before going that any change to our rules would
only be done at 8am in the morning.  I can assure you
that at 8am, hung over, with the hot sun already
making you sweat, you wont change any rules.  We also practiced the 
rule of staying close together.  Whether at Hedo or anywhere else, 
safety should always be of the highest priority.  We were also fortunate 
to find a really good group of friends who were always looking out 
for each other.

Monday was also the little black dress party for our
group.  We held this at Pastafaris and it was very
nicely done.  Everyone looked great.  We moved from
there to the disco.  Wow, did we have fun!  The drinks
in the disco are at least twice as strong as anywhere
else at Hedo.  Also, the bartenders in the disco seem
to have difficulty making even simple drinks.  The
premixed stuff they do just fine.  We were told that
the Jamaican Delights were a good drink, especially at
the Disco and I would have to agree.  You really dont
get a hangover from them.  If you want to slow down a
little, try some Rum Cream on the rocks, or with a
little Amaretto on the bottom.

Tuesday was the PJ party after a long day of fun at
the pool again.  We really spent most of our time
hopping between the pool and the hot tub but not so
much the beach.  Most of the fun seemed to be going on
just North of Delroys anyway.  We also met Maxine who
worked late afternoons at Roberts Grill.  What a
super lady!  We really miss her sweet smile.

Wednesday was our self-proclaimed easy day so I guess
we must have gotten to sleep no later than 4am that
day - LOL.  Sleep at Hedo is a rare thing indeed.  We
averaged a bedtime well past 4am and up by 8 or 9am at
the latest.  Naps are highly recommended.  If you are
heading to Hedo for the first time, I strongly
recommend designating a part of the day as naptime. 
Dont worry about what youre missing.  Hedo is a
24-hour party and the best parties occur after
midnight so store up those precious minutes of rest so
you can go late into the evening.

Thursday we did the catamaran trip to the Pickled
Parrot, which was still closed unfortunately.  We went
swimming there and managed to run into a bunch of
these very small jellyfish that got pushed into us by
the current.  Several of us in the group were sporting
some very interesting body art on Friday as a result. 
We didnt let it slow us down though and did the Toga
night and Veronicas again.  You do fall into a
routine, even at Hedo.  Ours was to meet up at
Veronicas every night around 11 and close it down
before heading to the disco.  From there, it varied
between the slide, the hot tub, someplace else, or all
of the above.

Dave at Veronicas was a blast and kept us on our
going.  We had several singers in our group who did a
great job.  I made the mistake of wearing underwear
one night, how foolish, so mine are now part of the
batch currently sitting in the fish tank.

Friday I just flat ran out of energy.  Since it was my
birthday on Saturday, the group was certainly trying
to help me celebrate but I was just flat out of
energy.  Aside from the week long party, taking
Benadryl all day to ward off the jellyfish reaction
gave me an equally weird reaction.  Next year, I avoid
the jellyfish, stay out of the ocean, and party one
extra day!

Saturday, our newfound friends all got up early to see
us off.   It meant a lot to us to have everyone out
there to say goodbye when we knew just how tired they
truly were.  Lynn was tearing up pretty good as we
walked out the lobby at Hedo and into the taxi to go
back to the Negril airport.  There was a very
interesting view out on moon hill though and that
cleared up a lot of tears and put smiles back on our
faces that lasted all the way home.

At the Montego Bay airport, they were opening every
piece of checked luggage from every passenger.  This
made for a little embarrassment but after a week at
Hedo, we weathered this no problem mon.  What we
started wondering is how the people we met with the
Sybian ever got it through luggage check!

Some general observations:  The Vinnies were really
bad in the disco.  You could tell the ones who had
come expecting to be provided with human sex toys.  A
simple word to all single guys.  If youre coming to
Hedo to get lucky, forget it.  I mean no disrespect by
saying that, just being honest.  It doesnt matter if
youre Tom Cruise; the odds are very strongly against
any single guy getting lucky.  Also, I dont expect
the real Vinnies to read any of these trip reports
but Ill say it anyway, Chris Santilli is right, not
only does no mean no, but unless a lady has already
said yes, its as good as a no.  Keep your hands to
yourself.  I would rate the disco as one of the top
three areas that should be patrolled by security and
it almost never was.  Of all the unwanted touching
that occurred, the majority of it took place at the
disco and right at the bar.

Our chief complaint of the resort is that the common
bathroom areas around Hedo need major cleaning help. 
The ladies described their bathroom outside of
Veronicas as gross.  Some refused to use it and
used the mens room instead.  The same issue occurred
night after night.  I can also say that the bathroom
down by the nude hot tube was no bargain either.

Many on the staff were just super all week.  Maxine
was wonderful and really made an impression on us. 
Our maid was excellent as well.  Delroy and Scumba did
an okay job given a very heavy workload.  Some others
seemed to be put off by any request.  We waited a day
for the room we paid for but the waitress that we had
at Munahanas treated us poorly because we arrived
late for dinner.  I guess the term soon come mon is
reserved for staff use only.  Other than that, we
walked away generally happy with the staff.

Now, on to the really good points, and there were tons
of those.  We loved the grilled cheese at Roberts. 
The food in general was excellent.  We really loved
it.  I know people complain about the main dinning
area but we had no trouble finding something good to
eat everyday.  I gained five pounds in seven days. 
Munahanas really has the same stuff every night but
we ate there twice and liked the food just as much the
second time as the first.  Partafaris was very good
too.  Just dont eat the hot dogs in Jamaica, yikes! 
The midnight buffet does need some help though.  The
sub sandwiches are pretty dicey, at best.

The room we had was fine.  It was very clean and the
staff does an outstanding job of making up the rooms
even though everyone in the place has a different
schedule.  Yes, the water was all over the temperature
gradient from one moment to the next.  Actually, I
surmise this is a problem with the valves they use for
the showers and has nothing to do with varying
pressure.  To test out my theory, try running a bath
one day and see if the water coming out the faucet is consistent.  
It was for us.  If youre really in a bind, just pull the water 
jug off the bathroom counter and hold it up to the showerhead.  
In the amount of time it takes to fill it up, the water temperature 
all averages out and you can dump it over your self.  It sounds 
silly but it worked like a champ for me.

The air conditioning in our room was a little weak. 
We left it on high all week and never once turned it
down.  Our room was never too cool.  A hint to keep
your room cool is to keep the bathroom door closed at
all times.  The vents in the bathroom let a lot of
high air in.

Maybe the only complaint I had with our room was that
the mirror above our bed seemed to make me look fat. 
Yes, my wife looked great in it by somehow I always
looked like something other than the Roman sun god
that I think I am - LMAO.

The nude pool was fine all week albeit a touch cloudy.
 When you consider the amount of sun tan lotion that
gets into that pool every day, they do a heck of a job
keeping things clean.  The hot tub temperature varied
day to day but overall we were fine with it.  The
drinks were cold and there were plenty of chairs
around at the beach.  I think the nude side was
completely full when we were there.  The prude side
looked to be about 10% full if the beach occupancy
ratio is any indication.

My recommendation to the newbies is to go to the nude
side right away and just start the week off right. 
Nobody, and I mean nobody, is looking at you unless
you wear clothes.  Dont be overwhelmed by the party
going on either.  We saw one couple come by, take one
look at the hot tub, and leave, and the hot tub was as
calm as I had seen it all week.  The mistake some
people make is assuming that we all know each other. 
We do and we dont.  Were all just having fun and
talking about whatever.  One more person in the pool
or hot tub is always a good thing, no matter who you
are.

The best time for a newbie to hit the nude pool area
is first thing in the morning.  Its virtually empty
since they clean the water around 8am or 9am
everyday.  You can get a good spot and settle in
without having to feel like youre being watched.  The
beach area is more impersonal and may be easier for
first timers at almost any time of the day.  So be
brave, and then enjoy the finest and friendliest
people youll ever meet in your life.

After the first hour, youll never want to put clothes
on again.  It is very true that the second hardest
thing to do at Hedo is to take your clothes off.  The
hardest thing is putting them back on.  A case in
point on that subject.  On our way home from Hedo, my
wife came out of the Memphis airport bathroom
laughing.  When I asked her what was up, she said that
after a week at Hedo, she nearly forgot that she was
wearing panties again and narrowly missed a very
embarrassing situation!

The pools over by the prude side were fabulous.  Very
good temperature and very clean.  I guess, when no one
uses them they stay pretty clean.  We took over the
prude pool one afternoon.  There were exactly zero
people at the pool when we got there so no one seemed
to care.  They even served us at the main bar, nude of
course.

The slide is a blast.  We loved it.  The nudes were
frequently over there, in daylight or at night.  The
fastest speed seems to be achieved by going nude and
laying with your feet and head raised slightly off the
surface.  I got one run going where I thought I was
going to fly right out of the tube.  Big fun!

We brought our own beach towels, which by the way I
higher recommend.  Towels were rarely ready before
10am and were frequently gone by noon, if not by
10:01am.  We brought inflatable rafts but never used
them.  We left them in the closet for the next couple.
 There were plenty of rafts available on the beach.

The absolute best part about Hedo is the people.  With
my lovely wife in tow we just went up and introduced
ourselves to everyone we saw, whether they were a part
of our group or not.  At one point, one of our new
friends asked us how we knew so many people at Hedo,
given that this was our first time.  At Hedo, you can
make 100 new friends every day.  You just have to
introduce yourself and take an honest interest in
people to do so.  We left Hedo with several life long
friends that we didnt know the week before.  That
kind of opportunity rarely presents itself in your
hometown in one year, let alone one week.

Wed like to sincerely thank all the wonderful people
that made our trip so special.  We like thank everyone
at Biffs Bunch again for the wonderful times.  To the
group of really good friends that we made at Hedo, and
you guys know who you are, we really appreciate
everything!  Words can not describe the fun we had and
if we live to be 100, well never forget our first
week at Hedo with you all.  We only wish we could
relive that week 52 times a year.  You guys are truly
the best!!

Pat and Lynn