TRIP REPORT by JB to Hedo II June 11-21
Hi everyone. My wife, Tracie, has already submitted a trip report with the usual blow-by-blow details. This one is somewhat different and it is dedicated to all of you who have felt or are feeling a sense of dread at being naked in public. What I am about to tell you should at least let you know that it could be worse than you imagine. Read on.
One morning at Hedo started out like any other: a nice breakfast, some hot coffee, and the 9:30 AM scuba dive. After the dive, as is our custom, Tracie went to the beach to find her float and catch some late morning rays while I lugged the dive gear back to the room. While in the room (trying to be delicate here) I felt an urge of nature. Hey, we all do it, right? So after taking care of business I was ready to hit the nude beach. Our room (2173) was very close to the nude pool so I thought I'd cut throught the pool area as I checked out the mid-day scene. So there I was, making my first stomach-sucked-in strut of the day through the pool area which was already filling with funseekers. I stopped momentarily to acknowledge a couple of new friends before turning towards Delroy's to try out a Jamaican Delight-No Sugar in my large Buckees insulated mug. There were a fair number of folks already bellied up to the bar but the weather was beautiful, Dave's Hedonismville was playing, and the scenery was plenty nice so I was not in any particular hurry. I lean far over the bar to order. Just hangin' out. Life is good. Yeah, mon.
Well now I decide to continue my tour and I casually stroll by the crowd lining up at Robert's for cheeseburgers and fries. "Hi", "How ya doin'?" I call out to a few familiar faces allthough I did not know their names. Everyone turns to see who it is and I throw out a friendly "howdy" to these fine hedophiles too. Can't ever have too many friends at Hedo is my motto. I make a left turn at the Caribbean and set a slow pace down the beach to the dive shack. I see my lovely wife floating peacefully in the warm waters but she doesn't see me. She might be dozing so I do not disturb her. I will join her shortly I decide. Again I, at the very least, nod and smile to anyone glancing my way as they relax in their beach loungers with their books. Friends are good. And I must be looking mighty fine today because I am being noticed! And I didn't even fluff!
I finally decide to reverse course and head back to our beach spot near Delroy's and snag my raft for a little floating action. On the return trip people are definitely smiling big at me as I pass thereby convincing me that being outgoing and friendly truly does have its rewards. What a great day!
At last I make it back by the bar and I woman I had recently met motioned for me to come to her. She must want to chat! She leaned close to my ear and whispered, "only a true friend would tell you this...but...you have a long piece of toilet paper hanging from your ass." It was a near death experience for me. I could feel my face turn a burning shade of crimson. Speechless, I tried to act like nothing was wrong and didn't want to make any sudden movements that might attract attention to me. As gracefully as possible (under the circumstances being naked and all) I twist around to take a look to see if this might just be another cruel joke. It was no joke and the evidence was longer than I thought possible. It was like a long banner flapping in the warm ocean breeze. I look around. Maybe no one has noticed. Oh God! People are looking and grinning widely. My worst fears realized. Now what the hell do I do? I take a long swig of Jamaican Delight-No Sugar and pluck the object of my shame from my ass. Like a cat I can only think to bury it in the sand and then slither off to find solitude with my raft and shame. And then I wonder why the hell didn't this woman tell me on my FIRST trip down the beach.
Well, life went on as it turns out. And by later that day all of our friends were laughing like hell at my expense and I finally had a great laugh myself late that night when hooking up with our friends they ALL had 10 foot long tails of toilet paper hanging out their asses!
So for you people who THINK they are apprehensive of baring it all at Hedo, I actually DO know what embarrassment is all about, baby. Now just picture yourself naked for the first time in public view with a long streamer of toilet paper dangling from between your butt cheeks and know it could be worse.
Warm regards,
JB
email: HedoJB@yahoo.com