Booking - We had booked our first trip back in January with Lifestyles Tours & Travel. Kat was very informative and answered all our questions like a pro. All information mailed showed up as promised and on time. Pricing was the lowest quote and the airfare was the exact same flights I had found and she even got them a better price than we could find through other web sites.

Travel - All the stories going around about long check in is true. We had to be at Indianapolis International 3 hours in advance for checkin and still barely made it to the gate before the first call for passenger loading. Took about 2 hours just to get to the ticket counter. We flew into St. Louis on schedule, woofed down a quick sandwich then onto the next plane. On time to Mobay, smooth landing and on to the Tim air station. Quick bus trip with Evil Kneivel at the wheel to the Tim air terminal. I think brakes and turn signals were options on this taxi ride since the driver rarely used either. Quick check in at Tim air, grabbed a couple of Red Stripes and before we even got the first drink the pilot was telling us to "come on mon, time to go. Just hide your beer till you get on the plane." 20 minute flight in the little cessna and we were there. Road below looked bad shape and a lot of detours, glad we flew in.

Check in - Since it was the Ms. No Swim Suit contest going on and being sponsored by Lifestyles Tours and Tom's Tours, Lifestyles had a desk set up in the lobby area. Kat was at the table, 2 minute checkin and we are on the way to the room we requested with a complete package of goodies. We did not expect our rooms to be ready since it was only 2:00 PM. Lifestyles was very organized and we would highly recommend their services. We talked with Kat several times during the week and she was always upbeat and ready to help.

Room Accommodations - After reading all the trip reports and message board, we knew going in not to expect the luxury suite. Room was very clean, towels on the racks and cool inside. AC sounded like a freight train and is hard to sleep with it on if you are a light sleeper. Since we were upstairs it was nice to open the window and enjoy the sounds of the water splashing and the little tree frogs chirping. We had room 2266 on the nude oceanview side. Next trip we will take the nude garden and save a few bucks. Back to the AC, we were in several other rooms and all sounded the same. Take a big can of Lysol and spray down the Ac and entire room every day. Ours leaked water all week long onto the floor. Oh well, only spent a few hours a night there anyway. Towels were always available and we never did have to go with out any to the pool or beach.

Food - Went to the Japanese style dinner one night. Food was very tasty, but the Chef did not talk much or do any neat tricks. Must have been still learning. Had Pastafari's also one night, very good. All other dinners were at the main dining room. Quality was better than we had expected after reading all the negatives posted about it. Not a lot of variety but suitable. Only had lunch one day at the dining area and it was above average also. All our other lunches were at Robert's grille. The man has a great memory, met him once when we first arrived and he called us by first name the rest of the week. Cheeseburgers, grilled cheese and turkey sandwiches were fantastic.

Vinnies, Wallies & Single Men - Yes, it is true. After all the reading we have done on the message board they do exist. However not all the single men fell into those two categories. We had a single male, Eddie, we met on the way down. He shared all our flights with us including the Tim air ride. Eddie was the perfect example of how a single guy should be. If all the other single men had the class and personality Eddie had then the term Vinny & Wally would be nonexistent on the message board. The resort should hire him as a trainer to teach all the other single males on proper conduct. One evening at the hot tub, Eddie noticed a very young girl that was so loaded she kept passing out in the tub and a guy was taking advantage of her. Instead of being a Wally, Eddie notified Delroy at the bar about what was going on and had it put to a stop. The poor girl had no idea what was going on and even fell face first into the water passed out. In all our opinions it took a quality guy like Eddie to step forward to help her instead of waiting to have a turn at her like other guys were. On a funny note, we sat at the hot tub and were amazed at how intense some of the wallies were. Not to offend anyone we called them sharks and laughed all week at the shark attacks in the hot tub. Wallies would just stare and follow the action getting as close as they could. One wally got in so close behind our friend Chris trying to look over his shoulder to see some action we thought Chris could feel the wally's wanger in his back. Several of the college kids there were well behaved and watched from a distance and did not bother anyone. One kid got motioned over to join in and I never saw someone move so fast in the water. Too bad after just a minute or two they waived him off and sent him back to the wally waiting area.

Jerry Springer Week - OK, this one I will take some heat on for my viewpoint. It was obvious all week which people were with the Springer group. They really kept to themselves and did not bother us the least bit. Donna got her picture taken with Jerry in the dining area and later with Steve the bald headed security guy. Steve was a stuck up dick & acted like he was too good to talk to anyone. We also met Al, another security guy and he was real cool. He always stopped and talked with us and was out every night having fun. Donna even danced with him at the disco. After viewing the taping of the "hidden camera" food fight in the dining room the show is more fake than we had expected. We also stopped for a few minutes and watched the footage being shot on the beach about a midget dumping her lover for some 400 LB guy she supposedly just met and was in love with. Strange how all week long they never were any closer than a couple of seats to each other for new lovers (yeah right). Overall they were not any disruption to us whatsoever. The day all the college kids were bused in, we just stayed on the nude side and never really noticed them being at the resort.

Ganja - Avoid all the dealers hanging around the airport and wait till you get to Hedo if you are into ganja smoking. There is plenty to be found on site and the guys on jet skis will constantly be calling you to come down to the shore to buy from them. Quality that I got was top notch, it was a single skunky smelling bud that was about a half an ounce for $30. Since Donna doesn't smoke I couldn't finish it off by myself and left the remains in the safe for the next tenant along with a pack of papers and one already rolled up. I smoked way too much all week and was in a daze from the time I got up till I went to sleep. It really affected my social skills around our group of friends we were hanging with. I didn't talk a whole lot all week to anyone. Inside my head I was having a hell of a party going on. I had some good conversations with myself and laughed at all my jokes. It took a couple of days to get readjusted socially and start talked with friends again. Each morning I would have a nice big one rolled up before breakfast, have another one before heading out for the day. Have another one before dinner, then another one before going out for the evening. If we returned to the room, I would have another before going to hot tub late at night. Damn, no wonder the week was so foggy.

Catamaran cruise - This is a must do for all visitors. Very relaxing and fun trip. Steve the boat guy was very shy and seemed nervous around naked women. The bartender, can't remember his name (damn ganja) was quick and very attentive. He kept our cups full of rum punch the entire trip, bringing the drinks to us. I think the girls got him a little too excited, he had set sail in his pants and it was at full staff. Use a little common sense when visiting at the caves, heavy drinking and swimming do not mix at all. I did dive off the catamaran and swam around the boat, but no way in the condition I was in could I swim all the way there and back. Pat from our group swam all the way in and was worn out when he got back. Too bad we all waited so long to start fooling around on the return trip. Just as action was starting to heat up, we were back at Hedo getting ready to dock. I did meet two new friends on the return trip, Renee & Leslie while Donna was receiving a foot massage from Steve the boat guy (not sure who was driving).

Overall Trip - This was our first trip and we will most certainly return. Even though the Ms. No Swim Suit Contest was going on and the Springer stuff was happening it was one of the best vacations we ever had. Only down side was there was a nasty virus floating around that almost all of us had came down with in some form or another. I spent all day Friday with a high fever that would not go away. This carried over to Saturday making the return flights a living hell. By Sunday evening and several antibiotics later I finally started to shake it off some. Ended up taking Monday off from work to recooperate from vacation. We met several interesting couples during the week and made some great new friends. Eddie, Chris, Mike, Joe, Pat, Mark, Renee, Christy, Kylie, Caroline & Leslie really made the trip enjoyable and one we will never forget. This is what a vacation should be, surrounded by naked pretty women for me,  handsome naked men for Donna, sunshine, activities, food and alcohol, what else could you ask for!!

Greg & Donna
IndyFunCouple