August 28 to September 1
Our seventh trip to paradise. But this one starts four months before when we made our annual trip with Buttcrack TOURS. We had arrived the last week of April only to be bumped to Lido for two nights, so we had three free nights burning a hole in our pocket, so to speak. Friends of ours, who didnt get to go in April, asked us to share a very special birthday with them, so off we went for a quickie trip. Oh well, a short trip beats the hell out of no trip any day, but all four of us were in agreement that last night that four nights JUST WASNT LONG ENOUGH!!!
The Trip There
We flew Northwest through Memphis. Those NW planes sure seem to have more legroom than USAirways or certainly Air Jamaica. We met our friends in Memphis, and are talking before we get on the flight. Were off to the side in the airport, and only one tall nice looking lady anywhere near us. Aint it funny how Hedo folks attract to each other and dont even know it. The lady was Tara of the HHH group, off to her return to Hedo.
No problem at all with the flights, and both flights going down were maybe 50% full. But it was on a Wednesday morning, so that may be part of it. We got into Mobay right on time, and breezed through Immigration. We decided to take the bus this trip under reports of the road finally being completed. We made the right choice. The trip took just over an hour if you subtract out the time for the beer stop. And even the beer stop was fun. We arrive at Hedo, did the paperwork thing, and got our keys in maybe 15 minutes. No problem. Our friends, who had booked prude oceanview, were bumped to nude oceanview. The AC wasnt working in their first room, so the resort just moved them to the primo room. Of course, the AC in the new room, or in our room for that matter were somewhere between ineffective and barely keeping up. First trip weve had where the ACs seemed to be struggling, but this was our first August trip too.
Occupancy Level, from the perspective of someone whos never seen it not packed to the tits
Always going with the Buttcrack TOURS in April, wed never been to the resort that it wasnt somewhere between 95% and 120% booked. We did a trip in October 2000, but it was during a Lifestyles week, and again, the resort was packed. This trip, I heard figures everywhere from 30% to 50%. Let me tell you, it is a different resort when its like that. Everything sort of slows down. A lot more of the scheduled events dont happen, simply because the few people around were not interested. They were setting maybe half the dining room for breakfast and lunch. You just walked in at Pastafaris. You still had to have reservations for Munahanas, but you didnt have to be in the lobby at 8:30 waiting in line to get them. The disco was WAY less crowded, and that was nice.
The piano bar was pretty much dead until Dave would start. And even the hottub at happy hour was nowhere near the level of bodies hanging out. (But isnt it interesting that there is still the same amount of sludge floating on top of the water???)
Our friends, who like us had never seen the resort so empty, didnt like the occupancy levels down. The energy level was noticeably lower. We, on the other hand, DID like it, at least for the change. It seemed we got to know a lot more new people this trip than others. Well always do April to be with all our Buttcrack friends, but Im glad I got the chance to do the resort when it was not packed.
The Bachelor Party, bless their hearts
We get to the Superclubs desk in the MoBay airport, and there is a bus about to leave with 4 more seat on it. They hustle us out there, and were put on the bus in back with a bachelors party headed to Hedo. <gasp> I remember a post on Dennys board a couple years ago about the testosterone 21 or something like that, and while there were only about 8 of these guys, you cant help but be somewhat imprinted into worrying about them. But I try to give everybody a chance, and Im glad I did. They were all very nice, fun, and polite guys. Two of them were actually from Jamaica, but had been living in the states for a number of years.
The wedding was at Lido, but all these guys were staying at Hedo. The bachelor party was to be Friday night, and the wedding was Saturday. I have no clue at the numbers, but it was maybe a 5 to 1 ratio of single guys to girls?? I saw one of the guys on Friday, and asked him about how plans for the actual bachelor party were going, given the dearth of available female companionship. He smiled and said they were moving the party to Mobay. We saw them in the disco that Friday night, and he said the groom had backed out of going to Mobay for fear of not returning for the wedding the next day. So that was one frustrated group of guys, but all great fun.
More Thoughts on the New Stuff
In April, we were very much impressed with all the new additions. We still are, but less so. The new pools are still too cold, but that I had expected. The pool down by the new bar was full of leaves on more than one occasion. Perhaps this is the time of year when those leaves are falling, and I did see someone cleaning them out, so no problem with that either. But the fountains in the new pool are not working. Come on now folks. You just opened it. Lets do some maintenance on these improvements.
We took the tour of the new spa that we didnt take in April. VERY nice. No, we didnt take advantage of the services (we just arent spa sort of people), but it was a super facility. We didnt see anyone in there, but it was just after breakfast and they had just opened.
We walked back and looked at the miniature golf course. It was unused and covered with leaves. Tell me Im wrong, but are there only 9 holes???
The fish tank in the Piano Bar was full of boxers in April. It was a very well maintained tropical aquarium this trip. Nicely done Hedo!
The piano tech was visiting with Dave on that Thursday night and had replaced some strings and tuned it up. He was even going to hang out until Dave started just to make sure everything was irie. Overdue, but Dave sure was pleased.
The ice rink remains the unused eyesore it was on day one. Wall it in and install foam generators and a door to the existing disco. THAT will market the resort, not this plastic patio sitting there now.
THE DJ PLAYED FIVE ROCK SONGS IN A ROW ON FRIDAY NIGHT RIGHT WHEN THE DISCO OPENED!!!!!!!!! Cool! Then some other folks came in and he immediately launched into that techno fizzle beat never changes glurp that they always play. Oh well, we wuz drunk, so danced our collective arses off to it anyways.
We finally found that new hidden hottub on the nude side. VERY private.
In April, the hottub over the disco was empty. This time, it had water in it, but it was cold and not being used. What a waste.
Sucky weather at Hedo still beats a sunny day at home
The roof in the dining room was one of the more interesting entertainment events that week. Friday, it rained. And Im talking RAIN here folks. Inches and inches of rain over a 4 or 5 hours period. They were in the middle of working on the roof, and had a bunch of 4 by 8 plywood up. The water flowed through that roof like curried goat through a Harvard grad. It must have been 5 inches deep in the dance floor. Water was falling through on the salad bar, and you had to walk through a wall of falling water during lunch (I remember trying not to think about the water that dripped onto my lunch, and what it might have been strained through). I have a vivid memory of Charlie of omelet fame pushing a huge squeegee moving the water out past the main bar.
Wednesday night and Thursday all day the weather was fine. Actually, the sun didnt seem as intense as it is in April. But the REASON for that is the sun has a more difficult time penetrating the HUMMIDITY that exists in August. That Saturday morning I have strong memories of sweating from every exposed portion of my body. You sat in the water, OR you sweated.
But about noon on Friday, a dark line of clouds moved in. It had been a wonderful morning, and bunches of folks on rafts or sitting in the water. It starts to rain, and Bev and I do what we always do. We get a two person raft, hold it over our heads, and keep right on with the party. Others thought of the same thing, and soon a dozen or so fellow hedonists are sitting in the sand, enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of Jamaica, while holding floats over their head. No problem mon. But THAT is when the artillery barrage started!
The stupid things we do in the name of nekkidness. Lightning hit at tree probably up near the basketball court rooms. We all collectively at that point decided to get out, but in the next 30 seconds, which seemed a lot longer, there must have been a half dozen lightning strikes within 500 yards of us. Cries of STAY LOW! Or RUN!! Or AAARRRGGGHHHAAAA!!!!!! rang out up and down the beach, with us all expecting to hear cries of MEDIC MEDIC at any moment.
It rained medium to HARD until probably about 6 that evening. Saturday, the rain started at about the same time. It didnt rain as hard, or as long, but it was still coming down probably at 4 or 5pm.
Regrets
We always bring back a woodcarving to add to our collection. It rained the last two days we were there pretty much the entire afternoon, and we never had a chance to pick one up. We thought wed get one at the airport, but my goodness. The exact same carvings we might have paid $25 for down the beach were $110 in the airport, and yes, thats US dollars. I was shocked! So we didnt bring one back.
I spend a lot of time traveling with my work, and am pretty good about keeping track of my wallet and things. I had a brain fart of this trip though. As were leaving the resort, I hand my digital camera to a lady to take a photo of our group. I put it around my neck and got on the bus. I even remember putting it in my carry on. Thats the last time I saw it. When we got home, Im unloading, and its not there. Not sure if it fell out, or someone lifted it when I had the bag unzipped, but it sure disappeared. The loss of the camera is tolerable. But it kills me I lost all the photos.
I just HATE not sleeping!!! So I get up Friday at 8:30am. Great morning, and took a 90 minute nap that afternoon. Friday night I managed to keep a nice buzz going, were dancing till the wee hours, then we get a little busy, and the next thing you know, I jump to my feet, throw open the curtain, only to discover the sun has come up. I HATE THAT!!!! Ive gone and cheated myself out of a nights sleep BEFORE my last day at Hedo! Bev crashes, but I set my chin, and go in search of coffee. I am NOT going to miss the last sunny morning (Im fully expecting rain that afternoon, and I was right to assume that). I down large amounts of caffeine, and eventually head to breakfast. Looking back, I did pretty well. I got my second wind, had sobered up, and had a real good morning on the beach. I managed to fall asleep on a raft and catch a quicke 20 minute nap. And then later that day took a 2 hour nap during the rain, and felt back to my old self that evening. But that sense of dread or jetlag that you carry with you when you miss a nights sleep is never a good thing.
And the last regret, we had to come home.
Memories
Every night at Hedo is fun, but the Thursday night of this trip has got to be in my top three of all time. We had gone to the piano bar, and all four of us had a pretty good buzz on. Dave just had his piano fixed and tuned, so he was certainly going to be in rare form. For the first time ever, the four of us parked ourselves at the piano. There were maybe 10 or 12 other people in there at most, but we had a super time singing and raising our alcohol level even more.
Im one of those people who is usually at the disco late night over the Piano bar. So a lot of the standard tunes sung there, Id never heard. The four of us are sitting there when this gentleman got up and did Lucille. Im sure he had practiced this in front of a mirror before he came. He comes to that you picked a fine time to leave me Lucille YOU BITCH, YOU SLUT, YOU WHORE, YOU SUCK, YOU SWALLOW, AND YOU COME BACK FOR ME. Hes screaming it, and pointing, and we all laughed and laughed!
Then its off to the disco, where theres a pretty good crowd, but not so packed its difficult to get around. Well, there were probably 10 to 15 single guys dancing with the few single girls, dancing by themselves, getting drunk like us, and having a good time. But we were drunk, and very soon our dancing moved to an R rating. So Im doing the grind with Bev in front when the female half of our friends starts doing the grind on the other side of Bev. Then another girl got behind Bev, and I suddenly realized that there were two girls now doing the grind in line behind me. It was like something out of a wet dream, Im here to tell you. Im the one guy in a line of ladies all dressed in their finest! Strange as it sounds, that seemed a little weird to me in my drunken mind, so I sort of stepped out of that line. At this point the ladies kept grinding, and the pack of males on the prowl had started chanting louder than the music while the girls continued to grind, and the vision burned itself into my memories.
Another memory involving the disco on Friday night I had previously mentioned the DJ played some rock tunes. Before all that, heres a fun story. We get to the disco right at 11:00pm that night. There are the four of us, a couple of single girls, and maybe 2 or 3 couples there. No bar staff. No DJ. No music playing, but the lights were all on. We stood around a few seconds on the dance floor when the DJ comes in that back door, tells us he is working on something, and that it will be a few minutes before the music starts. No problem mon, I grab Bev, and in true Tom Cruise fashion, start to dance with her while I sing Youve Lost That Loving Feeling. In just a few moments, pretty much everyone there is dancing, many are singing along, and everyone was having a moment to remember.
Until Next Year
Yet another good thing about DaveInApril does August is thats its only 8 months until April, and since it took me a month to do this trip report, make it 7. but whos counting
