April 20 to April 27
Our sixth trip to paradise. This one might be a little longer than normal, but this trip was REALLY different from the past five. I wont go into the details why, but we spent less time staying up until the wee hours drinking our way into a drunken stupor while dancing our arses off in the disco, and more time enjoying the beach, the new AND old facilities, and each other. We usually feel like crap on the trip home, but this year we were moderately rested. And our DIF is at a tolerable level also. But if this gets a little disjointed in places, big deal. I didnt say I totally stopped drinking
The Travel
We reverted to US Air through Charlotte this trip. When we booked in early November, Delta/AJ was something like $680 a head. We reserved the seat through GoClassy, but I kept checking the internet sites for something better. Low and behold, mid December USAir (which had previously been $700) dropped to $475. Booked it on the spot, and apparently a lot of others did too. The plane was packed both ways.
We took TimAir over to the resort. The road is better than it was last year, but last year was the worse condition by far. Much more of the road is completed (we always take the bus back), but there are still a few spots that are nowhere near completion. And getting through Lucia is a congested nightmare.
Charlotte customs remains my favorite over Miami (the worst, by far) or Atlanta. Not as many folks coming in from out of country, so the crowds are always smaller. And from where you get your bags, go through Customs, then recheck your bags is a very short distance. A note on Customs. A rumor has it that you can bring back more Rum Cream since its lower in alcohol. Not true. You get 2 liters per adult. Just make sure you declare anything over 2 liters.
The Bump
We had been watching Dennys board for info on occupancy levels, and as late as 5 days before our trip the entire resort was at 50-60% by guess. We got there, talked to some friends, and discovered it had been sold out and some for the first time in a LONG time. They offered us 3 nights on a return if wed do two at Lido. I negotiated with them for a 2 year expiration date, and we took the bump.
Lido surprised me. We had been bumped there before, but this time, it took them three hours to get a room for us. The room showed some minor mold and mildew, and it was in a particularly loud area. We turned on the TV one time to see if they still had the Playboy channel, and it only got a couple of channels, and just barely those. Like Hedo, their beach also suffered from the storm last year. We ordered room service one night, and it was over an hour to deliver. All that said, it is a very nice resort and Ill take the bump any time as long as we are going to get comped. We ate at their pasta caf one night, and it was very good. Plus, they have a much better wine selection than Hedo ever had.
The Sounds of Hedo
I had threatened this for a few years, but finally broke down and did it. Im an old rock and roller and still heavily involved in music. I have an 8-track digital studio and like to fool around with audio. Part of my collection is a small digital mini-disk recorder. I saw in a music store they had a small stereo electric condenser microphone, so I picked it up and thought Id capture the sounds of hedo to help pass the 51 weeks in waiting.
The recording turned out average at best. Problem was, I had the mike level set too high and I should have used normal sensitivity (or tried it out BEFORE I got there). It picked up too much sound, and at times it gets a little busy. And did you realize that with all the music constantly going on somewhere in the resort, it is VERY difficult to find a place where you can get a recording of JUST treefrogs!!??!! And the one decent treefrog recording I did get was when I had the recorder sitting on the ledge outside our room. Problem is, there must have been something running very close by that was cycling, cause you can hear some kind of rhythmic pattern in the background. Plus some girl yelling rebel yells. But it was fun. One day I carried it while walking to the beach. I set it next to the new pool one afternoon while we were cooling off. Some good recordings with it laying on the chair parked at the edge of the water in the middle of the afternoon (you can hear the waves lapping in, in stereo no less). But many times when the ambient noise level is low, you can hear all the laughs, yells, and screams that are constantly occurring in the background, that you might not notice. But nanner nanner nanner! I got it all on audio now! (and before anyone emails be about it, NO, I did NOT record any of the shows).
Ya Mon-New Life in an Old Beauty
WOW is the only word that comes to mind with the improvements in the resort. When you look at the photos of the new facilities on the net, its difficult to put into perspective what it is going to look like in real life. In person it is truly spectacular. Our room was in the old basketball court rooms. First floor, and maybe 5 from the end closest to the prude end. This was a GREAT place to be close to the new stuff. At least while we were there, the new areas, including the plunge pools, waterslide, pool, and swim up bar were all intermixed with prudes and nudes living in total harmony.
The one thing all these new water features have in common is water temperature. All of them are COLD. Especially the pool. Now, when youre really hot, its a great place for a plunge when the sun is shinning through the trees. But otherwise, you dont spend a great deal of time in the water down there before your nipples harden and your willie shrinks. And its a pity too, because at night they use colored lights underwater, and it has a nice look to it.
Towels were available every time we asked. We usually went by the dive shack, and got 2 to 4. We rarely saw large stacks of them out, but they were readily available if you asked. One day we left the room towel less with the intent of stopping by the dive shack, and a maid offered us four of them on the way. Very nice.
The chairs were in good repair, and plenty of resort and abandoned floats were available.
The beach now has a series of large lights that point out towards the sea. They do not light up the beach, but the point is now lit in all its glory.
The new hottub in the prude area over the disco was not in operation. There are two small see through squares in the bottom. Its a pity too. Elevated the way it is, its a nice area for nudies to invade at will.
During a storm last year, they lost the broken down sea wall that fronts the nude beach. It has been rebuilt, and they sure did put in a whopper. Its a good 4 or 5 feet tall. You can still get chairs down off of it if you like to sit next to the water, but its not easy. And a drunken fall from there could be downright dangerous.
The roof in the dining room leaks. What are the odds? Water temp was consistent for us, even during heavy use hours.
At least the week we were there the rules regarding nudity had been greatly relaxed. Nudes and prudes intermingled freely in harmony in the new areas. I only saw one person use the slide the entire week who actually had on cloths. Bev only wore a top to lunch in the main room one day, and she was not alone. I wore only a black see through sarong, and it was no problem mon. Im sure if newbies who are not expecting this complain, theyll have to tighten up on the rules. But for now, enjoy.
The ice rink was there, but its just a hard plastic surface and not slick in any way. It was covered with debris, and doesnt appear to have ever been used. It is incredibly small anyways, so no loss.
Im sitting here writing this trip report, and remembered there is now a miniature golf course there. Never saw it.
They built in these pool tables in the new pool, and some more up on the hill. But there are no balls or sticks available within easy reach. For that matter, not even sure if available in uneasy reach. Build it, and they will come wont work if we dont have the equipment. All that said, it would not be particularly terrific pool. The concrete tables are covered with Astroturf. Youll have to play the lay, and thats usually not a part of pool.
The disco has been expanded. It added maybe 150 or so square feet on the side closest the nude beach. It butts up against the splash pool for the waterslide. The disco caves looked like rock closets that were started, and then the workers lost interest. They were taped off, and just had some old rock and metal stored in them.
The rock-climbing wall is open a few hours a day. I saw several do it, and it looked fun if youre into that type of physical exertion.
Guests
A really different crowd from all past trips. The prude beach rarely had more than five or six people on it, and I never saw anyone really even down in the prude room areas except walking to the main areas or nude end. I would speculate the repeater number was REALLY high, given the difficulty they had in getting people to participate in some of the standard fire drills. Body Motion and T Shirt finally had judges enough to sit around the edge of the stage, but it was a struggle. Videos were forbidden, but photos were OK. We only checked out the disco a couple times, but the crowd seemed down there also.
PJ Party was crowded, but it always is. They were enforcing the no camera rules in the disco. People were meeting out in the new area (near the pool tables) that leads to the disco for photo taking. We passed on toga night this year.
Food, Drink, and Service, the good, bad, and the ugly (although not necessarily in that order)
The previous two trips, the servers had been coming to the tables and taking drink orders. Didnt happen this year. May have been that they were still calling staff back (or not) and just couldnt manage that as well. No big deal though as getting a drink at the main bar was rarely a wait.
They have switched brands of Rum Cream. Didnt see any Worlds End or Sangsters. Mad Annies was absent as well. Never did ask the brand they were using, but it was fine. I drink my weight in rum cream every trip.
The buffet, both hot and cold, seemed a little thinner on selections that previous trips. For the most part, the food continues to be average, but there were some notable exceptions. They had cracked crab one night, and stuffed crab that was the best Ive ever had. Put down three of those bad boys, in addition to any number of claws. Ive also been a past complainer about how they cooked beef. It does NOT have to be gray inside and to be good. We had some fairly decent beef this time too. Not all, but most was very tasty. Shepards Pie was excellent, and was available for lunch on Thursday.
The new Japanese restaurant was good, and a nice change. The sake was OK, but what it missed in smoothness it made up for in heat. The shrimp might have been a touch undercooked, but he did a fine job on the beef. Note, if possible, avoid sitting on the end (to the side of the cook). The heat coming off the grill seems worse. You must also make reservations at the Tour desk the morning you are planning on eating there. A line starts to form between 8:30 and 8:45, so dont wait. It books up quickly.
We finally learned our lesson on eating at Hedo, and not coming back and complaining about the food. We cant expect to eat like we do back home, and then go to Hedo for a week and eat like Kings. All the fried stuff and spices just dont sit well if youve been eating trying to shed a few extra pounds prior to the trip. So this year we would take small bites of the unusual foods, but we really tried to avoid the fried foods, and hang with a lot of salads. It worked for us.
Service in all the bars was fine. I cant really say about the disco bar, as we spent so little time in there. Veronicas seemed less lively, at least to us, than past trips. Some of the friends most visible were not able to attend this year, but either way, it seemed quiet in the piano bar until Dave would kick in.
At times, if you ordered a beer from the main bar, you were given a bottle of Red Stripe vs a draft. I can tolerate draft Stripe, but after the first thirty or forty, they all start to taste like weasel piss. This year, I even went to the small shop in the courtyard and picked up some Corona at $2 a bottle. We also snagged some Heinys when we walked down the beach. So any bottled beer available is a nice change of pace.
Bottom line, I made it a point to tell Joseph Smith how pleased I was with the resort and service. I was starting to get a little put out with some items, but they made it up this trip, even with the bump. Well done Hedo!
Regrets
Heat that new pool. We put it on the comment card, twice.
That we didnt pay one of the boat guys to take us out past Booby Cay to catch a sunset. We caught two over the island, but none on the sea.
That I didnt have my camera with me on the first sunset we caught. Im not sure Ive ever seen a more beautiful sunset. The sky had trails of yellow, which changed to amber, then to pink in less than a minute. It was fabulous!
We missed both Buttcrack Tours. We got there Saturday just as they were coming back in. Another was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon. But I BLEW IT! I did something that I KNOW I shouldnt do. I didnt eat breakfast, and then had a bloody mary followed by a mudslide. Delroy was out of bananas, so since a Dirty Banana wasnt available, I had the mudslide. Thats what did it. I have to watch my sugar level, and if I drink on an empty stomach, I can pass out. A banana may have saved me. The good news is I could feel it coming on, and Bev was able to keep me cool with water and get some regular pepsi in me to bring me out of it. But I was not well enough to make the Tour. Bad timing for sure.
After my episode on Tuesday, Bev had a run of bad luck on Wednesday. There was some kind of short-lived stomach thing going around. A couple of our friends had it, and even some of the staff we talked to. 24 hours of the runs, and some mild nausea. But Bev was back in the saddle by Thursday, and I had a VERY lazy Wednesday just checking on her every hour or so while drifting around the beach.
That Bev wouldnt let me take a ya, nah vote of the crowd on whether the majority of the people minded if she gave me a BJ on the side of the cool water Jacuzzi in the middle of the afternoon. I was trying to scream out instructions to everyone, but she kept putting her hand over my mouth.
Memories
We met a couple at the commuter terminal getting ready to fly over to Negril. They were headed to Lido to get married. She was from the States, and he was from Bermuda. While looking out the plane at the new road, I made the comment look at all those poor pilgrims down there on those buses. For whatever reason, she got tickled and I thought she was going to choke. We saw them at Lido on our first night, but didnt see them again. We get on the plane to leave at the end of the week, and there is the lady on the same flight to Charlotte. She is sitting right in front of us, and shows us her wedding photos. We talk to her quite a bit on the trip back. We get to Charlotte and tell her goodbye, then find her on our flight to Columbus. Turns out, she lives on the other side of town from us, or at least WILL be until she moves to Bermuda in July. Small world.
Thursday morning we walked down the beach. We went past Sandals and bought some really nice carvings at a much cheaper price from a vendor. We had a couple beers at one of the beach bars, and took some REALLY killer photos. Ive included one photo of me in the exact same place as the cover of Caribbean Life and Travel took their Negril cover photos. This is in Sandals. What you cant see is all the Sandals chairs and guests who were in the foreground and background. I took all that propaganda out with my editing software. Look close and youll see it, but a nice photo either way.
Heres a special memory. One afternoon were nekkid and had been cooling off in one of the new plunge pools. I had just gotten a couple drinks from the new bar and had walked back up to Bev who was still in the pool. I see a couple, probably mid 50s, walking up in front of the windows into the new aerobics area. Clearly, they had just got in based upon what they were wearing, and carrying bags. They were also looking around the resort, and Im inclined to think that while they may have been aware of the nudity, SHE may not have been expecting to be confronted with it so dramatically, and in full sunlight. She is looking around, her gaze comes to rest on me standing there in full frontal nudity, and the look on her face makes me laugh to this day. Mouth drops open. Eyes clearly growing wide, visible even behind her sunglasses. Priceless.
Bev got embarrassed. You heard it here first folks. One day happy hour is getting close, but its a fairly hot day, even for late afternoon. We drifted over to the hottub for some socializing, only to discover the water was VERY hot. We did manage to stand around in it long enough to catch a serious buzz with the normal crew. But wed had enough of the heat, so off we went to the pool. We spent some time goofing on each other, and then I smelled someone burning a hogleg. Were wading back through the crowd from the bar, and I see several folks catching a buzz. . And I was struck to do this In a very deep, authoritarian voice, I announced Someone is smoking marijuana! Hilarious to see the reaction of a few folks caught mid toke, standing in the middle of a bunch of nekkid adults in Jamaica, actually look for a place to hide the spliff.
Were getting ready to get on the bus for the trip back to MoBay. I run to the main bar, and they are getting ready to open up. I ask the lady if shed fix me my last drink of this trip, and she smiles and says sure. I hand her this huge 20oz mug, and tell her Rum Cream rocks, explaining that I wont get to order it from a bar until my next trip. She laughs as she makes the one of the biggest rum cream rocks of the day. My mustache was plenty sticky by the time we reached the airport.
Until Next Year
A relative term. With our three free days from the bump, we will likely go back this year. Not sure when yet. Could be August, or September. But one thing I can promise you well be nekkid.
Until then,
