April 17 to April 27, 2002
Have been back from Hedo 12 days and suffering from DIF. The ButtCrack Tour group was a riot. We will be hard pressed not to replace our usual March trip with this April group. I may have to give up my "other" husband, (Towelhead) who can only get there in March, and be satisfied with only seeing him once a year. Kathy and I were hell bent on spending our 50th birthday week at HEDO. I even purchased two new hats and sunglasses for the event. Wouldn't you know it that Kathy gives me yet another hat for my birthday. So now I have 8 hats in my room and only 7 days left. My given Hedo nametag of Anita the Diva, is slowly being replaced with The Hat Lady. Hey, better than The Bag Lady or something worse. We were told that April 19th was the first time Hedo had to bump people to Grand Lido since 9-11. The place looks great. Although I have to admit I preferred the more "island" look to the beach as compared to the tile, concrete, pool and slide complex that now occupies the prude beach area. It's a maze to get to the dinning room from the Nude side. With all the trips back and forth, I never saw anyone use the new pool(s), ping pong, pool table, putt-putt golf, ice rink or rock climbing turd. That thing looks disgusting. The prude pool is ICE cold. It never gets and sun. It is situated under a bunch of trees. I suppose the architect never took a vacation before. It must be a maintenance nightmare. The only time I saw it used was for an impromptu baptism by the Rev. Dr. Feelgood after an especially rousing 100+ ButtCrack Tour invasion of Sandals. The whole crowd invaded the Hedo prude bar and water slide complex, very hot and sweaty after the parade. I even took a "spin" down the waterslide. It was SCARY! Only did that once. My husband, was too worried about injuring Mr. Happy to even give it a whirl. After everyone had the go or two down the slide and we attracted a small prude audience, Rev. Feelgood asked if everyone had pee'd yet so we could get back to the nude side. It was a hoot! BTW, the see-through Jacuzzi located over the Disco already has a leak and was empty our full 10 days there. There were many surprises. Many Spanksgiving people were there. Doc, Andy (The Rev. Feelgood) & Sara (Poopsie), Kathy and Khalid, The Senator, Karen, Krazy Karen looking hotter than ever, Justine & here husband together with that whole pool group that changed to Hedo II for a couple of years. They said they had to get back to Hedo II. Said III just doesn't have the energy II does. Crazy Mary had planned to be there but ended up with a hernia operating instead. Later in the week Andy and Katie, HedoRick and Cindy and others that I cannot remember the names of arrived with the Biffs Bunch crowd. Food was better this trip compared to November. We did not get around to trying any of the restaurants (as usual). I just can't get away from the action in the dinning room. Mixed reviews on the new Japanese style restaurant. Sara loved it, Kathy and Khalid thought it was awful. Kathy said she was still hungry after the 90 minute ordeal. Both agreed that the won ton soup was "fishy", but every agrees that they loved the tempura appetizer. Krazy Karen went to eat at Pastafari after her seating at the Japanese restaurant, still claiming hunger. It seems most people liked it nonetheless. Shower water pressure and temperatures were consistence and wonderful. Only ran out of Smirnoff one day at Delroy's. (A big improvement from November.) Air conditioners are beginning to give out. Could never get our room cool enough. It paid to get the AuNatural ocean view room this trip. We opened the windows and bathroom slats at night and enjoyed the ocean breeze and wave sounds at night. They are replacing the room bedspreads and curtains with (in my opinion) an awful Victorian style red/pink rose flowered number that will make you think you're at someone's grandmothers house. Not tropical at all! The piano bar was in full swing. Much to my dismay the Karaoke machine is working. I do understand David needing a few days off. Now, here I must steal from Marcel's trip report to convey the ButtCracker's idea of a piano bar virgin initiation. I just could not improve on this rendition of the event:
"Paula announces to the group that as a rookie BCT hopeful it is now time for my first blow-job. I grin from ear to ear as several of the BCT women strike me as rather attractive. My grin freezes on my face as it is announced that Gilles from Canada will give me mine. Reminds me of hazing in college. Just as am resigned to my fate, Gilles tells me "just kidding" and Paula initiates me at last. I am now an official Butt Cracker. But I must prove my worthiness! In walk the proverbial sacrificial lambs: the young boys from Texas, fresh off the plane and truly looking like deer in the headlights. Before they can say "aw shucks" Paula's party-girl alter-ego Bunni has fleeced them of their underwear (part of her wild-life restoration program to re-stock the aquarium) and the BCT girls have offered them blow jobs. At John from Tennessee's prompting, I have convinced them that since "we" don't "know" them they must wash their dicks off first. They retire to the loo to polish up their purple helmeted warriors in the sink. Don rattles the door to make sure they are doing a thorough job. They even consent to a visual inspection in front of us all before finding out the sort of blow job they are really going to get. They are ultimately good sports about it all and party with us (BCT, the next generation?) My face hurts from laughing so hard. I think my face is going to split open when the senior turtle (70+) shows them what a lifetime at Hedo will do to you and they see his "metal collection".(over 50 piercing of surgical steel rings in and around Mr. Happy) I become a full-fledged knight of the round table. Does it get any better than this?" If you have not read Marcel's trip report, do it. I never read a better one, even though he seems to be a bit preoccupied with getting some...Imagine that! Another side-splitting moment is when Katherine decided there were way too many sets of young men's underwear in the dinning room. She managed to convince these poor guys that their underwear would be better served if she put them on under her cute little sundress. I never thought I would see David loose it to the point that his laughing would prevent him from playing "Piece by Piece". Just when everyone thought Katherine was on her last pair of boxer shorts she would uncover yet another pair of jockeys. She had over 20 pair of underpants under that little dress. People were crying. All panties were deposited in the (then) empty fish tank. It seems though those underwear were multiplying. Each night the tank had some new species added to the collection. PDA's were more prevalent than any of my previous 19 trips. Day and night, at the pool, at the splash pond, in the cool Jacuzzi, in the hot Jacuzzi, on the beach. Men and women, women and women and women, women and women on men, daisy chains around the deck of the pool on the mats. You could not walk around the pool area for fear of getting shot with something...including chocolate sauce, butterscotch, body whipped cream or various shooter containers filled with god knows what for body shots. I really don't care and don't mind what other people do, but the place was PACKED and you just couldn't look the other way cause it was going on there too. Sometimes I like to cool off in the pool cause the ocean's water gets so warm. I only wish I could learn something from some of them. One female threesome went at it on a Hedo float mat on the ocean shoreline for 1.5 hours. What endurance. Think of all that salt with that meat! I'm retaining water just thinking about it.
The EC staff was great. Familiar faces were Paul, Lucky, Roxanne, and David. All were in great form. Lucky is now doing the double trapeze shows Friday night. She was good. Joe Smith was at the repeaters party for the first time in ages, held by the squash courts. I like it there, but it is difficult to eat, hold your drink and clap for the staff too. They should set up tables or something when the cocktail party is held there. Repeater food was better too. However, still no lobster at repeaters or Tuesday night. Remember those days? 17 trips won the free week.
Toga night 4-18 was one of the best in ages. I attend 4 to 5 of them a year. The entertainment was super, good singing, and playing and clever stunts, just a blast. The crowd really got into the toga line thing and competition was heavy. Many great and creative togas. Art (my daytime husband) had very little luck fishing this spring. Lobster season closes April first so snorkeling for lobster was curtailed. He did spot a 4.5ft. barracuda, but thought he should let it pass considering he COULD miss and piss that big guy off. Thank goodness for that. I do get anxious with him out their by himself. I think his enthusiasm for fishing off the rocks may be waning too. Not much action there anymore either. I do enjoy the fresh snapper and flounder at sunset when he is successful. Robert does such a good job cooking them up. All in all, this trip was a vast improvement from last November. I did not get my free days for that problem riddled trip. I refuse to complain on my vacation and I hate talking with Delano. But that's another story. I heard he was leaving for the states to go to school...not soon enough for me. I was seriously considering moving to a different resort after last November. It's not so much the property condition as the attitude in the front office. This past trip has renewed my faith and reminded me that a flooded dinning room (yes, the roof leaks are even worse than November if you can imagine that) and stained and flimsy beach towels are simply not important when you can have THAT much fun. I should mention that they seem to be adding starch or something to those beach towel over at the Grand Lido laundry facility. Some sort of revenge? Many of them are like sandpaper. Poopsie remembered that she used to lay out on sheets to tan in high school. I must tell you the Toga sheets worked great on the beach chairs, cool and soft. One more reason to pack my own Toga, so I can use the Toga sheet at the beach! Looking forward to Spanksgiving week, refuse to start the countdown until September. Love and respect to all, Anita the Diva (recently) a/k/a The Hat Lady