A Hedo Virgins Trip Report orYou Meet the Nicest People When Youre Naked  

After a year of dreaming, planning, asking questions and blowing up the message board, finally the day arrived and my boyfriend and I set out from Tampa airport to board a flight for Montego Bay, Jamiaica.  Of course, our 12:30 flight was delayed to 1:15, but my spirits werent dampened any.  Flightuneventful, with the exception of the flight attendants, who must have attended the Total Bastard Airlines school of stewardship.  

Arrive at Sangster, board one of those tiny buses with air-conditioning equivalent to a midget fanning a piece of tissue paper.  No Problem, Mon!! We have been waiting through a VISCIOUS New England winter, and this is almost welcome.  Were on a bus with a couple from Iowa and two college girls from Michigan.  No one complains about the heat.  Once.  

The ride is pleasant, unlike many other perilous rides I have taken here.  (Here I had to pause my journal entryYESSS, I kept a journal.  But not for very long  = )  The road was very bumpy, as the medieval suspension system and New York-style potholes do not facilitate penmanship as an art.  Anyway, We must have the best tactical driver on the island, even though as far as personality goes, he could use a little more enthusiasm.**Afterthoughtwould it have been that much of a fiscal drain to have made the roads a mere two feet wider?  Okay, Michele, stop complainingIm not complaining just observing.   

7:30 pmPhew, finally got here at 6, check in (BUMPING?  NOT EVAHN A PROBLEM,MONDiane, you were right!!!!) was quick and painless.  Unpacked and showered (I dont know about what other people thought, but I thought that it was a gorgeous room!  Clean, Quaint, with a GREAT view of the beach.)There were even chocolates and champagne waiting!  Courtesy of Apple tours, whom we didnt use, but Im not one to look a gift horse in the mouth!  

In my opinion, on this particular trip, there was a perfect blend of young and old, nude and prude, single and married.  It was Lifestyles week, and since we were there also after they left, I had to say that they definitely kept things interesting!! But thats another story.  So, naturally, this was where my diary ended (I know, the first day, havent even left the room, hey, Lifes a Sport.  Are you a player or the guy who sits on the sidelines writing who sprains their ankle?)  So Ill have to go on memory, however fuzzy it may be from booze and sun.  

First full day, Tuesday, we wanted to get acclimated, slowly, so we spent the day on the prude beach.  Angel the coordinator was getting ready to go postal trying to attempt to get the Young Whippersnappers to do anything but sit around and argue over whose turn it was to score weed.  I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive about going to the nude side, though..I would have to be naked?!?  Tuesday nite, HEY HEY, PJ nite!  I wore a little undie set with thigh highs and 6 inch heels.  My boyfriend was concerened that his thong/pouch would be out of placethen we got to the disco!!!!  He was almost chaste compared to what was going on there!!  It was a riot, very crowded, great music, fun.  

WEDNESDAYday of reckoning!  Now, Ive never been nude in public beforeokay, okay, the hells angels party in Massachusetts, but lets not bust stones!  So I was nervous.  I walked slowly past the water sports shack, Scott was already half-way in the nude pool.  My palms were sweaty.30 MINUTES LATERIm cracking jokes with Scumbaa, lounging pool side, and cheering on participants in the body painting contest!   This is how its supposed to be.  We have dinner at Pastafari, I get to dressy classy/slutty, like you see in the movies.  FINALLY, a place I can wear the clothes I love to buy, but sit in my closet!  The food is pretty good.  Heck, were in Jamaica, not Venice.  The nite is like the others, a little disco, midnight buffet, and OH YES, the hot tub!   

THURSDAYall I can think about is my toga, which I painstakingly planned and prepared 2 months in advance.   I did the circus trapeze with a lady who was high as a deadhead.  Delroys is the greatest, and the food on the nude side?  Almost as good, maybe better, than in the dining room! We sun, we swim, we take out a kayak.  The mens hot buns contest?  There was one British guy there, he won, and Ill tell you right now, it WASNT because of what he was packing in the trunk!!  The toga party is great, there are a majority of the people in some manner of sheet.  There was even a group of girls that came to dinner in regular clothes, then left and came back in togas!!  

FRIDAYAnother glorious day on the nude side, we went waterskiingmy first time!  Then came back.  It was overcast, but only a few isolated sprinkles.  Chilled out by Delroys.  Friday nite was a blast!! They had the beach party!  We participated in the competitions!  The best was when you had to run, spin 25 times, then TRY to run back!  Scott went head first into the sand, I ran halfway across the beach in the wrong direction, and the guy after me did a somersault (but I dont think on purpose!) I was laughing so hard I couldnt breathe.  Then there was the sexual positions contest, where he got clawed about 3 times and someone fell on me and knocked the breath out of me.  The beach party was not for the physically weak!!!  We decided to retire, then came out late to the hot tub.  It was the lifestyles last night, and they were ?celebrating?  

SATURDAYour last full day, we dragged ourselves out of bed early (10:00) and took the snorkel tour boat which was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful!!! We went to Parrots Cave for a delicious lunch, then came back, receiving lots of good advice from Ringmon and his wife.  We spent our last day in blissful nudity, went to the Piano Bar (Veronica, Im still looking for ya!!) and pulled a final trip to the hot tub.  I have to say that with the Lifestyles gone, it was more like the Prude tub than the Nude one we had grown accustomed to.  

So, to wrap this up (finally) we left Sunday, a little melancholy, and definitely tired!!  If theres any advice I can give to a Virgin, it would be the following:

1)       Relax.  People are there on vacation. 

2)       Be Nude.  Try it.  You WILL like it.  As a matter of fact, the people on the nude side were much less pretentious, and seemed a lot friendlier than their prude counterparts.  I guess, when youre naked.  Theres really not much you can hide.

3)       Pack light.  I only brought a Roll-aboard.  And was still overpacked. 

4)       Definitely bring a thermos or insulated mug to carry drinks.  Dont worry, Delroy and Scumbaa will hook you up!!!

5)       Talk to people.  I believe that your experience there will be entirely what you decide it will be.  I didnt do everthing I had wanted, but I dont regret anything I did do.  

Any other advice, I think the vets can give best.  Thanks to everyone at this website for being witty, helpful, and willing to share their experiences with others.  Hello to Msonion, Ryan, and the Farmer Couple from Iowa.  

Peace!!!  Michele