We read lots and lots of trip reports plus Chris Santillis book during the planning of our first venture to Hedo II. Heres our distillation of what was helpful, and what was useless.
Firstly, we booked our trip through Lifestyles Tour & Travel (LT&T). Were not in the lifestyle, but everyone said that LT&T has pull at Hedo, and they were right.
The Bus Ride Who are these people who call it the bus ride from hell? We thoroughly enjoyed the ride both to and from. Its no superhighway covering the 90 km to Negril, but there are worse roads all over the US of A. Some have reported how depressing it was to see how the natives lived. Sure, its a poor nation, but the weather is very mild, fruit trees and fish plentiful, and the cost of living extremely low. Look at it this way how many hours a week to they have to work to keep themselves fed and housed, and at what level of stress? Now compare that to your own life.
The Check In The bus pulled up to the lobby at about 8:30am. We got out of the bus, walked up to the LT&T desk, showed our confirmation coupon, and were immediately handed our room keys. Now thats a smooth check-in. We got a terrific second floor room (#2277) on the nude side, overlooking the nude beach and part of the nude pool. The buildings in Jamaica are built using solid concrete. We heard no one in the adjoining rooms, though through the open-air bathroom louvers we could heard the folks in the Jacuzzi and pool at night, and of course the tree frogs.
The Food The meals, served buffet style, were better than many of the buffets in Las Vegas where we live. Every meal had a meat dish, at least two pasta dishes, one potato dish, some kind of seafood dish, lots of fresh fruit and bread, and some kind of egg- based entre. Im not a fish eater, but I found plenty to eat. One night offered fresh lobster, which Sandi said was very good. The desserts were excellent, and could easily be described as gourmet. Couple of minor notes: ketchup, salad dressings and pancake syrup are not the same products in Jamaica that they are in the US. If the familiar taste is important to you, bring along fast-food restaurant ketchup packets and your own syrup and dressings.
The Nude Side Weve never been to a clothing optional resort before, but after much research, we had a good idea what to expect. Going nude was easier for me than Sandi. She was ok going topless after the first few minutes, but it took her three full days before deciding to go the full monty. The nude side pool was beyond crowded, and the filtration system had a hard time balancing the Ph. As the days wore on, the water became cloudier. The nude Jacuzzi was out of commission the first few days because of a leaky pipe, adding to the crowded condition in the nude pool. Being Lifestyles week, the prude side was nearly deserted the entire time.
Public Displays of Affection Weve read trip reports that delve into the subject of public displays of affection (PDA) at Hedo. We never witnessed PDAs. What we witnessed was overt sexual contact, and lots of it. We saw stuff that might make a porn star blush. If you are the least bit offended by sexual activity happening right next to you in the pool in broad daylight, dont go the Hedo during Lifestyles week.
Single Guys There were a few single guys who were there during the week, and I have to say it was a pathetic sight. Even the one guy who was hard bodied and incredibly hung was a novelty only some of the time, and alone most of the time. If youre a single guy and are planning to score big with horny female swingers during lifestyles week at Hedo, youre a damned fool. Dont waste your money.
What To Bring I spent a lot of time pouring over trip reports to determine what to bring to Hedo. Heres what I found most useful: SPF 45 sunscreen, waterproof cameras, sunglasses, a hat with a brim that also shades the tips of your ears, earplugs (helped me sleep), AT&T phone card, and plastic bags (to keep stuff from being soaked in the rain). The stuff I found to be somewhat useful (or at least comforting): aloe vera skin gel, first aid kit, antihistamine and insulated mugs. The stuff I found to be completely useless: Lysol, antibacterial soap, inflatable rafts (there were tons on the beach), splash balls (many people dont like them thrown around), silly string, and cough drops. A couple of things I wish we did bring: spring loaded clips to keep the beach towels in place on the lounge chairs, and a bag of those cheap, soft plastic party favor squirt guns.
What To Wear Aside from what you wear on the plane, guys should bring three shirts, two swim trunks, tennis shoes, sandals, water socks, and boxers for PJ nite. Thats it. I splurged for an outfit for PJ nite, but it was unnecessary. Girls should bring a two-piece swimsuit, several tops, maybe a sun dress, two pairs of shorts, sandals, tennis shoes, water socks, sarongs, something cute and sexy for PJ nite, some stretchy, slinky but elegant dresses for dinner (thin fabrics that fold into nothing), a white or cream colored belt for toga nite (attend the toga tying instruction class and youll see why), and make-up (Sandi didnt bring much, and regretted it). Dress is very casual at Hedo, but there is some competition among the girls at dinner.
Shopping Youll likely be disappointed with the shopping in Jamaica. Hematite necklaces, crude wood carvings, coconut purses, loud shirts and sun dresses, and thats about it. Forget what you hear about the Jamaicans wanting to trade. They dont. If you take something from their stock, they need to replace it, and for that they need cash, and thats the reality. If youre going to buy Cuban cigars, beware. I found several shops selling Cuban cigars, but the tax stamps were forgeries. The only genuine Cubans I found were at a more upscale mall called Time Square (a cab ride from Hedo). There is a shop that sells cigars and nothing else, and he has the real deal. As far as US customs goes, nobody asked questions or looked in anyones bags when we went through.
The Entertainment I read many trip reports that pooh-poohed the entertainment at Hedo. I dont know what theyre used to, but Im from Vegas and I can tell you that the entertainment was very good. I saw things Ive never seen before (the hot wax thing was incredible). Sure, there were a few hokey moments, but overall the Hedo entertainment gets high marks from me.
The Highlights What stood out for us (and has all but been overlooked in every trip report Ive read) is that we felt very safe at Hedo. There are perimeter guards and roving guards all throughout the property, 24 hours a day. We never saw an unmanned post or a guard that was not alert. The entertainment staff was very friendly and upbeat, and often stopped to chat with guests while in-between events. The groundskeepers swept, raked, and otherwise kept the grounds very neat and clean the entire week. The food was tasty and plentiful. The drinks were strong, though it sometimes took a while to get served at the ever- crowded Delroys. The room A/C was effective, but noisy.
The Low Points We did not have running water one day from about seven in the evening until the afternoon of the next day. There was never a time that we found fresh towels at the poolside towel bin. There were a couple of days that we did not even get bath towels from the maids only hand towels and washcloths. One day the maid made up the bed with no blanket just a sheet and the bedspread. There is no excuse for such lack of service, and the Hedo management should be ashamed. Also, any trick youve ever heard about trying to prevent the shower water from instantly changing from warm to hot to cold does not work.
Epilogue Hedo II is a bastion for heterosexual couples to meet and play together. It was clear that many more than half of the guests were repeat visitors, and in fact this is Hedos claim to fame. Did we have a good time? Yes. Everyone we met was nice and polite, and a few were downright friendly and interesting people to talk with. Would we return? Probably not. Its easy to see that Hedo II is the perfect spot for couples in the swing lifestyle to meet up with new and old friends, but for us the uniqueness has worn off, and the facility is certainly no draw. As our new friend Bob put it, There are just so many other places to see.
Any questions or comments? Contact Mark at razorcutt@yahoo.com