Frank & Sandras Hedo 2 Trip Report ( May 31st -June 4th )
Well it the trip started out in a negative way when we arrived at North Cuba, I mean Miami Airport and found out our plane was not delayed but CANCELLED!!!! Our only alternative was to take a flight later that day that would stop in Kingston ( yippie ) before arriving in Montego. Hey the airline gave us two meal vouchers for breakfast so we were satisfied, NOT!!! Actual things did turn out better because I made a deal with Jam Airlines to give me the same flight a day later that when we were planning to leave and not charge me penalties or extra cost. They did and we stayed another day in Hedo. Well our next non-brilliant move was to take the bus ride ( insert punch to the nose now) which took 2 1/2 hours ,4 Red Strips, 4 bruised butt cheeks, and 2 valium to live through. We arrived just in time to wash up and go to the toga. Luckily we had made our togas beforehand so we were ready for Hedo 2 night one. The toga party went real well but jet lag was starting to set in and we just hung in the back by our lonesomes. We got many compliments on our togas which made us feel good.
Day 2 ( My favorite day ) Sandra and I were sitting on the beach and decided to go lay on one of the anchored rafts on the water. While sitting there some other people started coming out and sitting with us. After a few hours on talking and drinking Red Strip ( from a straw ) we decided to go play volleyball together where we kick all comers a$$es and ruled Hedo. Now I consider myself a pretty good athlete but volley ball is really hard after you have drank '3' 340z thirstbusters filled with Red Stripe in 3 Hours. If my wife ever leaves me I will marry Paulette because she is my hero. After lunch is was time for pool volleyball where short people like me can stand in the shallow end and rule. Meanwhile Sandra was soaking up the sun like she never sees sun in Tampa, FL. and drinking Hummingbirds. There are times when you look at you significant other, wife, husband, etc, and think how good they are and then there are times when you say " How could I ever live w/o this person, and how lucky I am to have him/her. This was one of those times where she look so hot and sexy and dammitt I must have her now, right here in the middle of Hedo. After I woke up from the right cross that she connected with it was time for fun in the sun back on the beach. After a few hours of sun it was time to get ready for dinner and the Jamaican Beach Party. Dinner was great as usual since I normally don't have 30 items to choose from unless you count each salad dressing as a food group. The contortionist was awesome and I had to keep and eye on Sandra when she saw all those different body angles he did. I could see it later that night" Frank why don't you try one of those contortions like that guy and me having to cry in shame because the last time I touch my toes was the Reagen administration. So off to the Jamaican Beach Party where we saw this guy put a freakin' lounge chair on his forehead and balance it while he danced. I can't even do the dancing part. Meanwhile Sandra was shaking her groove thang and drooling over Razor. What does he got that I don't? Just because he is good looking , tall, cut with muscles, and really cool. I just don't get what chicks see in him. Well then they "Let the games began" Sandra had fun busting the balloon since she weighs barely more than the balloon, she couldn't pop it the first couple of times. The relay race where the guy had to put his arm through his leg and behind him was fun until you had to hold a girls hand and do it again OOOOUUUCCCHHH! Last time somebody did that to me I was told to "turn my head sideways and cough." But after our team Hotstuff keep winning they decided to try a individual game ( my fav) which was the dancing game like musical chairs. I wish I had my notebook because there were positions that I had never seen before. My two favorites were the lady who got on her knees to me and started to bite me in my crouch. I had never felt so cool in my life. Now whos cool Razor, to which I saw two women doing the same to him, dammitt!! The other fav was the lady who ended up with my wife ( I didnt know she like that, doesnt make her a bad person) and she tells Sandra to hold her tits. Now that was kind of a turn on and I like it alot. There are moments in life when dreams come true and when women are putting my hands on there a$$ and going down on me, well that is surely a top ten moment. Well after the games had finished it was time to get more Red Stripe. I had finished 5 34oz thirst busters of Red Stripe and two dirty bananas and now I was going to drink another Red Stripe. I love Jamaica!!! After that we decided to go to the nude hot tub and practice what we just saw. As always we met some really nice people on the hot tub and talk for an hour about our lives. Its funny when you are naked you dont feel like you have to act like someone your not. Freedom from clothing makes the soul feel so liberated, is that redundant? There is nothing like holding your soul mate in a hot tub, naked w/o anyone caring. It was a perfect setting for the end of our first full day at Hedo 2.
Day 3 After 5 of the shortest hours of sleep I awoke with the biggest headache and knew there is only one cure; drink more!!!!! So off the breakfast we go and after watching Sandra eat fruits and OJ, I settled for pancakes and greasy bacon. The big highlight today was the trip to Ricks Cafe and yearning to jump off the cliff. After a few hours of sunbathing and drinking the whole crew (7 of us) decided that Ricks was the place to be for the sunset. We arrived and went straight for the Red Stripe and then the cliff. Now lets set up this scene, Sandra and I had been talking about this jump for months. I was ready to go and she admitted that it was going to be a no go for her. We can see who wears the pants in this family, whos the one with courage, the one who fears nothing. After three quick beers and praying for a buzz I walked up to the steps to jump settled myself, thought about the type of jump I would do, loosened up my neck and back bones. Sandra is standing steady with the video recorder ready to immortalize my jump in history. People watching ready to clap and cheer for me. I stepped up look down and said THERE AINT NO FREAKIN WAY I JUMPING OFF THIS CLIFF and immediately got down and headed for more Red Stripe. Now some people including Sandra may call me a chicken but it doesnt bother me none. I am the breadwinner in my family and I have an duty and obligation to stay fit and away from harm if at all possible. After the trip to Ricks we went to Margaritavilles for a Margarita ( duh ). Well the rest of the day ended as peacefully as the other with a trip to the nude hot tub where once again we met some really nice people. Of course there were those who were doing less talking and more extracurricular activities but that is what Hedo is all about.
Day 4 Our last full day at Hedo and the drinking is starting to slow down and the pounds are starting to increase but the fun really continued. Our normal activities of eating, drinking, sunbathing, and volleyball. By this time Sandra had a perfect tan without the burn. We arrived to the beach before the crew did and went out to the raft to layout. Well a funny story happened here because as we were walking out to the raft there were two beautiful women were were already laying out with the foot of their float laying on the raft so they wouldnt move. They were laying on their backs when Sandra and I arrived. When we hopped up the one women said hello and asked if we were having a good time to which a conversation started. Now I have no problem talking to two beautiful women naked and being mature about it. My mother taught me to always look into a womans eyes when speaking which comes in very handy at Hedo. The problem was that while I sat up and talk to them it was very difficult because the height and angle of their float made their breasts covered their eyes. So I continued to move my head to make eye but it became frustrating ( whatever ) and I just started talking to her boobs. But once again we got to meet some of the nicest people in the world. Well now comes the part where if you were there the same time as Sandra and I, you will know who we are. Crazy Anton recruited us into the 50s style dance. Once again lets set the mood: I am 31 and Sandra is 29 so the only thing we had to resource was the movie Grease. I am not Travolta and she is Olivia Newton John. We were doing fine until Sandra foot hit my foot and she fell. Once again there are moments in life when you will be defined as a good husband, lover, and care giver and this was one. When she started to fall I had her hands and pulled her up with every bit of strength I could. I did manage to pull her up before she busted but it still was pretty obvious what happened. We just barely lost the dance off but I am sure it was rigged. On to Veronicas Bar where we had the opportunity to watch a strip tease being done on top of the piano. Screw jumping off a cliff, thats entertainment. After a few hours of being told how short my $#*& is ( how did he know) by the pianist it was time to hit the hot tub. As usual the tub was full and the conversation great except for one person. For those of you who were there the week of May 31- Jun 4 you will know who I am talking about. There was a tall guy, glasses, dark curly hair, and introduced himself as being from England. Now the problem was that ever woman that entered the pool he would immediately start to hug and kiss. Sandra and I were talking to a couple and the guy was a Greek god. I was waiting for the English Guy to start hitting on this guys girlfriend but it never happened. That would have been a mess. After a while of sitting in the hot tub and laughing we decided to walk down the beach and sit. We encountered the the canoe man selling things you cant find in the gift shop. There something about a man whispering at you in the dark from the water that is a bit bothersome.
D-Day ( Departure Day)
We had breakfast and hung out with the friends before saying our goodbyes and exchanging e-mails and addresses. And then our final exciting moment was taking a fourseatter on TIM AiR back to Montego Bay. The pilot ask if we had motion sickness and we said no but hated to fall ( remember Ricks ). It was the smoothest most beautiful flight we had taken. The coast to the right and being able to see the bottom of the ocean was breathtaking.
***To sum it all up Hedo2 was the most fantastic vacation we had ever taken. I enjoy being a kid at heart and Hedo allows us the privilege but with adults. The never ending well we called alcohol and the beautiful people make this a place that recreates a childhood feeling of being carefree and without consequences. To walk around naked with all your insecurities fading away is so cleansing. To meet people who really care for you as a person is just the anecdote we need to live in a world like ours. I love Hedo and all it enables us to be and I have a newfound love for each and every person for who they are instead of who they want to be. Hedo is not just a place but a idea of what once was and what could be again.***
Love to all,
