The day after we returned home from our November Hedo II trip (http://www.dennyp.com/HIITripReports/2000/daviddonna1100.htm),
we rebooked for March, 2001. Like usual, we flew direct from Charlotte to
MoBay on US Air, which is a little less than 3 hour flight. Even though a lot
of northeastern airports were shut down on the Tuesday we left due to the big
storm, we had no problems with our flight. Dalton, from TimAir, was waiting
for us at MoBay, so we were soon at Hedo.
We had booked a run-of-the-house nude room with a
possible upgrade, but still got only gardenview. While it wasnt as nice as
the oceanfront nude location we had before, it was worth it for the savings
since we didnt spend much time there anyway. There was a brand new mattress
on the bed and apparently they were replacing them resortwide. The second day
of our trip our air conditioner developed a leak and started running into the
floor, but maintenance had it fixed a short while after we reported it. As
other trip reports point out, the rooms are nothing special, but they serve
their purpose.
After check-in, we went directly to Delroys bar.
There, we had a few drinks and some of Roberts famous fries. Delroy
and Scumba charming and friendly as usual. It was good to see that Delroy was
completely over his ankle injury from last fall and he promised to take us to
one of his cricket games if we come back during his league season in the fall.
I guess that gives us an excuse to go back! After a bit of drinking, eating,
chatting, and soaking up sun, Donna and Tim, who we had talked to online
before going (thanks again to dennyp.com), introduced themselves. They also
introduced us to Debbie and David and Bill and Paula, who they had met on the
bus ride. Those 2 couples dont have internet access at home and were first
time visitors, so we are very glad that Donna and Tim rode the bus and met
them. While we have always flown TimAir to Hedo, the next time we will ride
the bus in and fly out so we can get to know other arriving visitors. Anyway,
the eight of us hooked up and had a great time together the rest of the week.
Tuesday night was PJ night and since we had previously arrived on Wednesdays
and left either Sunday or Monday, we had never attended a PJ night. I guess we
have another reason to return, because Scumba, and later Michelle, held me
down and poured a bunch of Appleton down my throat and midnight in the hot tub
was as far as I made it.
A front had crossed the island on Monday night, and the
ocean was very rough Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. All of the boats from
the various resorts were anchored out in the harbor, and no boats other than a
few kayaks were operating at all for those days (they later rescheduled the
island picnics and the Tuesday nude cruise, switching the nude cruise to both
Friday and Saturday). It was odd to see waves crashing in on the sand on
Negril beach, and little whitecaps all over the harbor. We brought our own
raft and spent most of Wednesday floating (while holding on to the rope, the
waves were really strong). Waves or no waves, it was great to be lying in the
sun and talking to new friends!
Thursday was more lying around, eating, and drinking.
Donna and Tim wanted to go to Ricks for sunset, so the 8 of us took a cab
there from Hedo. The negotiated cab price was $10 a person and the driver
would wait on us. A water taxi was going to be $35 a person or so, so we ruled
that out. It was good to see Ricks because now we can cross that off of our
list of things to do. Being spring break, it was very crowded and the Red
Stripes were $3 each. There was a huge line for cliff diving, and we couldnt
find anywhere to sit. Then, they announced a wet T-Shirt contest. Donna talked
Donna (of Donna and Tim) into participating. Donna is a very pretty woman and
carries her 40 years well, but was the only entrant over 20. She represented
Hedo well! While the ladies were changing into their T-shirts, the announcer
asked for someone to get the hose. Since we had finally found a bench to sit
at the back wall and the hose was coiled up beside it, Tim ran and got it. For
the rest of the contest, he was the official hoseman. He was definitely
into the spirit of things and applied copious amounts of water to these mostly
disrobed young ladies. He was the envy of all the college boys J
Some 19 year old won the contest, but Donna showed em how to move! We got
back to Hedo in time for dinner, then more drinking and more hot tub (this
might be the night that our Donna and Bill got into the tequila drinking
contest!).
By Friday, the ocean and breeze had calmed down and boats
were running again. We were up for an adventure, and someone suggested a walk
on the beach. So, the 8 of us and John and Carol headed up the beach. Donna,
Donna, Debbie, Paula, and Carol were topless and it was priceless to see the
looks from the Sandals and Beaches people (stares from the men, mostly glares
from the women!). Several locals said hey, you guys are from the zoo. I
have no idea what gave it away. While Sandals, Beaches, and Swept Away look
like very pretty and well-maintained resorts, they seemed a little uptight. We
walked and walked some more and made it to Negril Tree House. Their specialty
is screwdrivers, but I think the bartender was currently out of orange juice
(they used fresh squeezed) and we didnt want to wait until he made more,
everyone settled for pineapple screw drivers. After a nice refresher, it was
on up the beach. We got to Margaritaville, who were having some big outdoor DJ
spring break thing going on. Our ladies were, of course, still topless, and
the college kids were kind of freaked out by it. We found seats, ordered some
margaritas (which Donna, being a connoisseur of margaritas, pronounced the
best she had ever had), and enjoyed the afternoon. Debbie had a guy who kept
walking by her with his friends in tow staring at her chest, and she noticed
that he had a camera hidden behind his back, then would sneak it out, snap a
pic, and hide it back. She just grinned. Bill and Paula had some college girl
come up to them and say you know, this isnt a nude beach. Bill said
I know, and no ones nude. The girl said She is and Bill
replied, Nah, shes just topless. The girl said You must be from a
foreign country and Bill said Yeah, the US and then he told the girl
and her buddy that they needed to try it. They walked away. Once again, we
represented Hedo well and had to show the kids how to party. We made it back
to Hedo just in time for nude volleyball.
On Saturday, more sunning, the find your mate contest
(Donna found me by my hands, I was impressedalthough I only got the nipples
for my try and Tamara, the coordinator tricked me!). Then, we decided to go to
The Office of Nature Conservancy for lobster lunch. Carlton from watersports
took us over in the Hedo ski boat, and we settled in for some grilled lobster.
The Office of Nature Conservancy is a tarp with a wood burning grill
underneath it right on the beach at Bloody Bay. The lobster lunch was $15 and
the Red Stripes were $2 each. There were a bunch of locals sitting around
burning huge spliffs, playing dominoes, and listening to reggae cranked up on
a boom box. Debbie got a little nervous since there werent many non-locals
around, but the rest of us thought it was a very laid back, very cool scene.
The lobster was wonderful and by far the best meal we had in Jamaica this
trip. Donna bought a brownie from Big Finger and I think it worked
pretty well! The service and atmosphere was wonderful and I wish we had gone
earlier in the week so we could have had more lunches there. If anyone goes,
say hi to Seymour, the nice young Jamaican who helps run the place.
After lunch, we walked up the beach for awhile, then Carlton showed up to
return us to Hedo. The beach at Bloody Bay is not to be missed. It is a
national preserve and there is no development past the new resort next door to
Grand Lido. After getting back to Hedo, we met Al and Amy, who had just gotten
married. Best wishes! Nude volleyball and then dinner at Pastafaris. The
service was very slow as usual, but the food was pretty good (and the slow
service didnt matter, we were having fun).
Sunday, Donna and Tim had to go home. They had some time
on the beach, then left at 1:30. The 6 of us lined up on Moon Hill and gave
them (and their driver) a nice remembrance of us. Since we had met Sharon of
the Pink Ladies on our walk up the beach, Donna, Debbie, Paula, and Bill had
decided to get a massage, so we walked back up there for the aloe massages
(Donna is very fond of the massages at Hedo II and Hedo III, and considers the
Pink Ladies massage much better, and cheaper too!). Debbie also got a few
braids in her hair. While they were getting massages, I enjoyed talking to
Clive, a Jamaican guy who was spending his Sunday on the beach with friends.
He talked about his time in Chicago and Florida, and about life in Jamaica.
After the massage, made it back for another round of nude volleyball and then
sat at the picnic tables at Delroys and drank huge amounts of Red Stripe and
at Indianas chicken. Then a late dinner and hot tub.
We had brought a whole suitcase full of school supplies
and childrens books with us. However, we gave out most of the books and
school supplies to staff members who have kids. We took what was left to Kurt
(from Kurt and Alana) since they and Phil and Judy had arranged a trip to
deliver supplies to a school. We checked out at noon Monday for a 12:15 TimAir
flight. Debbie and David and Bill and Paula gave us the proper send off on
Moon Hill. We had seen signs advertising a Ziggy Marley concert Monday night
at Samsara, and hated to miss it since we are both Ziggy fans, but after 6
nights, we were ready to see our 3 year old! Nice flight from MoBay to
Charlotte, then an hour drive home. We are trying to coordinate a return next
year, but it may be Hedo III this time (or the sampler.)
We had a great trip, thanks mostly to fellow guests Donna
and Hoseman (Tim), Bill (Jose Cuervo) and Paula, Debbie (the urnbearer) and
David, Al and Kelly, Mike and Zan, Theresa and Joe, Kurt and Alana, Ray and
Elyse, Al and Paula, John and Carol, Al and Amy, and Mike, Bruce, and the
others from volleyball. A big thanks goes out also to the Jamaican people, who
are mostly very friendly, polite, and charming.
Advice to first timers:
Meet other guests online beforehand if you can. Take the
bus from MoBay and get to know other visitors. We love TimAir, but will take
the bus from now on from MoBay and will fly when we leave.
Read Chris Santillis book The Naked Truth About
Hedonism II available at http://www.wordcrafting.com/hedobook.stm
Participate in Hedo activities. Its a great way to
meet others (and to win hedo buckssee below).
Go off the resort and see some of the real Jamaica.
Especially dont miss a massage at the Pink Ladies ($25 for 30 minutes) and
lobster lunch at the Office of Nature Conservancy ($15).
Remember that Jamaica time varies greatly from the time
on a watch or clock. Enjoy the relaxed pace, and dont worry when things dont
happen right away.
Talk to the staff and be polite to the staff. Remember
that we are guests in their country and should treat them as hosts, not
servants. Most of the staff have children and while they would never think to
ask for anything, take some toys, books, candy or gum, or even clothes for
their kids. We got to know a lot about the staff on this visit and our
previous visit and love talking to them. Anna has 5 kids, including two
20-month old twins (yet she still works 50-60 hours a week to support them),
Stacy-Anns girl is 3 like our son, Michelle has several kids, Scumba has a
5 year old, Devon has 3 kids, Geraldine (our housekeeper and wonderful person)
has 2 little kids, the beach security guard has little kids. They all love
talking about their families. They are very hardworking people and do a lot
behind the scenes to make our vacations nice. Grant them the same courtesy and
respect you would want visitors to your country to display.
Please bring school supplies. Many things we take for
granted are extremely scarce in Jamaica. Almost everything has to be imported,
so even if there are not shortages of items, things are usually priced
exorbitantly high for the average Jamaican worker. Turn in your supplies to
Marc in PR, or get several people together and arrange a trip to the school to
deliver the supplies. We will never forget the trip we made in November. Kids
are truly the hope of the future, and education is the key to their success.
Cash in your hedo bucks for Appleton Gold (or be lucky at
ring toss like me, Im 2 for 2 now hehe). Take the rum to the hot tub area
and leave it by the drink dispensers. The nude bar closes at 11 pm and the rum
mixes passably well with any of the soft drinks and even (so Im told) the
frozen red stuff. It sure beats having to make the long trip to the main bar
at midnight.
Bring a raft and a magic marker, use it while you are
there, then leave it. We were glad to have brought one this time because the
supply was pretty low (especially for the 2-person wide ones). On the same
note, respect the dates written on the rafts and dont use ones belonging to
guests who are currently checked in.
Unfortunately, you need to stock up on towels when you
see some fresh ones. There is a constant shortage it seems like.
Negatives about Hedonism II:
There are several issues that need to be addressed. While we enjoy Hedonism
and will undoubtedly return, we are also exploring alternatives to Hedonism II
for future trips.
The maintenance of the rooms and general areas is overall
very poor. While an air-conditioning problem was our only problem (other than
the poor water pressure), Debbie and Davids room had a window that wouldnt
close properly. When they checked in, it was completely off the track and no
attempt to fix it by Dave worked. They reported the problem and after 6 days,
no one had done anything about it. While I chuckle at the sight of Dave
chasing a little frog around his room at midnight, I would imagine he wasnt
chuckling at the time. The handle at the hot tub is still just as lose
as it was in November, and to the unsuspecting, poses a serious safety hazard
as they grip it and try to get in and it moves.
Superclubs insists on marketing Hedonism to the singles
market with false advertising. The week we were there, 3 strippers were posing
for photos for some lame swing magazine. There was a hedo staffer at their
beck and call (and even a couple of entertainment coordinators posed with
them, the coordinators kept their clothes on though), and they had full access
to any area to take photos (although they mostly shot in the nude areas). On
several evenings, they were the entertainment (one night it was a Miss
Swinger contest or some BS, they were the only contestants) and at the
talent show they danced. They werent bad people and several of our
group spoke to them at some length, but they were basically there on a free
trip working for the magazine. I can just see the ads now Come to Hedo and
screw single girls like this. Donna was approached by a guy one night
saying its my second night and Im still a virgin, thats not like
me who then went back to his table of 8 single guys. We also met a guy who
said he came to Hedo to get laid. Of course, so far he was disappointed. I
have no problems with single guys and hope they enjoy their vacations, but if
they come to Hedo just to get laid, then they need to bring a date. The
Vinnie/Wally problem is pretty bad. Several nights there were more singles
guys in the hot tub than couples. One even masturbated one night, which caused
us to get out in a hurry.
Speaking of the entertainment, it basically sucks. The
house band seems to be pretty talented, but their repertoire is not too good
(especially when the singer joins in, mostly 60s oldies). It would be nice
to have more local music. The steel band was good, but they didnt play very
long.
There is no excuse for the constant shortage of towels.
The pool guys still hide them in various places (under the drink dispenser at
the hot tub, or in a cart back by the hot tub control building). Its as if
they are afraid they will have to get up and walk back to the laundry for
more.
The nude hot tub bar needs to stay open past 11 pm. Most
of the crowd doesnt get there until later. It makes no sense that the bar
is open from 7 10 while the pool and hot tub are closed, then closes right
after the hot tub opens back up. I guess managements reasoning is that
people will drink less if they have to walk all the way to the main bar,
therefore saving Superclubs a few bucks.
They need to do something about the nasty conditions of
the hot tub. Even though they treat it with heavy-duty chlorine levels, the
scum is always there. A simple filtering system would solve this problem.
Management needs to stay on top of details. For the first
2 days, the nude grill had popcorn in the afternoon. On our 3rd day
there, I asked Robert to make some. No corn he said. For the next 3
days, the answer was the same. Popcorn could hardly cost Superclubs very much
money, and while its no big deal, the simple things add up.
A sports bar or at least a decent TV somewhere would be
nice. While I dont want to spend my whole vacation in front of the TV, it
would be nice to see the news every other day or to watch a major sporting
event. A TV in the game room with ESPN & CNN would be very nice. The TV in
the TV room gets some movie channel and a Jamaican channel. I also think a
quite place to drink and talk with friends would be very nice (thanks to Paul
for his suggestion on the message board).
We havent stayed at Sandals, Beaches, or Couples.
However, from talking to several people who have, it seems the food and resort
maintenance are much better. It also seems that management is more responsive
to the guests than weve seen at Hedonism. If Hedonism had some competition,
they would not be able to get away with cutting some of the corners they cut.
However, Hedo serves a niche market and Superclubs is well aware that they are
the only game in town. Free enterprise is all about competition, and until
Superclubs has some at its Hedo resorts, there will continue to be issues that
they are not addressing. GL Negril has competition, and its no coincidence
that they are currently undergoing renovations.
I am ambivalent about PDAs. Its not our thing but its
never really bothered us before. However, it seems like there was much more
going on this time. I guess the exhibitionism/voyeurism is the reason that
some couples come to Hedo, but it seems to have gotten out of hand. While you
can expect it in the hot tub at night, open, indiscrete sex of all kinds on
the beach in the broad daylight just feet away from others is over the line.
Its as if SuperClubs has called off the sex police to conceal the fact that
they are cutting corners on the food and the maintenance. I believe sex is a
beautiful and wonderful thing, but after some of the stuff we witnessed at
Hedo this last trip, I am not so sure its always beautiful or wonderful J
All that said, we will return. We love the staff, the Jamaican people, and Negril. We have met some great friends at Hedo 2. However, Hedo III was a lot of fun too (http://www.dennyp.com/h3tripreports/2000/daviddonna0200.htm ), and if we can get our group back together to meet there next year, then it will be a blast!!