Our fifth trip to paradise, and they just keep getting
better. Whats a couple to do?
Accept this trip report in the spirit intended.
I dont normally write a play by play account of our trip, as
much as put down some of the things that stand out in our memories.
Years past,
we had always flown either USAir or Delta/Air Jamaica through either Atlanta
or Charlotte. This year we flew
American through Miami, and it had a lot of advantages over the other
airlines. First off, there is a
LOT more room in these American planes than AJs.
Plus, flying from Columbus, our first leg was just over 2 hours, and
the second just over an hour. Vs
the almost 3 hour leg from Charlotte or Atlanta to MoBay.
More room, plus shorter airtime, made for a much easier trip both there
and back. Maybe the only
negatives would be customs is Miami is a pain, and the checkin line for
American at Sangster was a good hour long wait.
We took
TimAir to Negril. Previous trips
we had always made reservations via the net with them, but when we would get
to the commuter terminal, I would always wonder why, since there would usually
be few people there. As always,
we made reservations again this year, and Im glad we did.
We got to the commuter terminal, and it was PACKED with people trying
to catch flights. We had
reservations, so after just a few minutes, we were off!
We were told
while at the resort that they had stopped the hotel checkin with Air Jamaica
for return trips because AJ and Superclubs had gotten into some kind of
dispute??? No confirmation, but
we did notice there were no tables of folks lined up in the morning to check
out with AJ. Hopefully, theyll
start that up again soon. As bad
as the checkin lines were with American at Sangster, they still were not as
bad as AJ.
Check In was a breeze.
We finally got to the resort at about 1:30pm, filled out our paperwork,
and got our key maybe 10 minutes later. We
were booked au natural oceanfront, but some of the folks we were travelling
with who booked gardenview had to wait a couple hours for a room.
But I can honestly say this is the first trip weve ever taken there
where we didnt hear of anyone being bumped.
There may have been some bumping, but we didnt hear of it.
One couple didnt arrive until around 5pm that day, and they still
got a room in the class that they had booked.
Overall, the
resort was in a little better shape than previous trips, at least in our
opinion. The walkways were paved
last October, although they did miss that one little path between the
buildings that runs to the nude beach. Wow,
is that blacktop rough right there. They
were also in the process of putting a new roof on the nude oceanfront rooms.
The hammering was a little annoying if you were trying to take a mid
afternoon nap, but thats the breaks. Not
sure if they have replaced, added new, or made repairs, but the beach chairs
were in good shape, and we never had to look too far to find one (we rarely
make it to the beach before 10am). Water
pressure was OK, even at 7pm, and once you got the temp set, there were only
occasional injections of cold water. We
did battle those little ants all week.
We didnt have food sitting around, but they sure loved drink
glasses. We even tried putting
all the drink glasses in the tray that the water pitcher sits in, but it didnt
help. Next year we might take
some spray, and then spray the bottom of the tray to see if that keeps them
away.
Monday night
is topless night in the disco. Last
October, we had maybe 80-90% participation.
This year, we saw maybe 2 or 3 women topless. Go figure.
The PJ party
was held in the disco. I can
honestly say this was the hottest PJ party weve been to yet, and Im
talking temperature, not dress. I
mean, at one point, a few in our group actually started getting light headed
due to the heat. It was packed,
but had been packed at previous parties without this kind of heat.
Not sure why the temp was so high, but wasnt as bad in the bar.
For the first time we can ever remember, they were turning people (men)
away at the door if they didnt have on PJs or underwear.
One of the coordinators even got on the microphone early that evening
and made an announcement that if you didnt have on PJs, to get the hell
out. And there were a few guys
that they made leave.
We won 2nd
best couple. I just cant
figure it out. Weve placed
third the last two years, and now second, and Im not sure what it is about
our outfits that the coordinators at the door like so well.
We are both dressed in red, so maybe its because we match???
Given the stiff competition, we cant figure out why we keep placing,
but well take our 30k hedo bucks and go.
By the way, Hedo Bucks now have a stamp on the back of them.
One of the coordinators told us that was to prevent people from making
copies and bringing down a bunch of forgeries.
Compared to Lifestyles week last October, what a tame
group from the PDA standpoint. The
Sex Police were around occasionally, especially in the afternoon.
The last several trips weve made, they were never around.
But this trip, they made a stroll through every once in a while.
Nothing too serious, but they were at least making the effort around
the pool/hottub. Of course, we
always hang out on the beach or in the water, where they NEVER seem to amble
through (snicker snicker).
Mike (the
cop from NYPD) was there with all his gags and toys, and his antics were
always fun to watch. Several
times a day the Beaches or Sandals boat would come cruising by slowly, and
there was Mike running to the edge of the water with his balloon slingshot. We always sit right at the edge of the water, so it was
naturally handy for me to act as a holder and work one side of the slingshot.
We had a blast, even if we arent all that great on aiming.
Its a shame too. Wed
see that Beaches boat come cruising by (seems like they went both slower and
closer to the beach than Sandals) and it was nothing to see very young
children sitting there looking at all us Hedonites.
Youd think with all the bad publicity Beaches has gotten lately,
they wouldnt be doing this. Hard
to believe some of the parents on the boats dont raise hell, but then again
maybe they do.
Maybe were
getting more tolerant as we get older, but the vinnuloids seemed less
obtrusive than years past. Im
not saying they didnt exist, but call it luck or timing, I cant remember
a single incident where we felt we were being intruded on, or pissed off by
said creature. And the funny
thing is, we got to know to one degree or another several single ladies down
next to the beach, and what vinnies there were never identified them as best
we could tell.
Buttcrack
TOURS had a very good year. One
group always goes the third week, and another group the fourth week in April.
A lot of folks from the third week stayed a few extra days, so Sunday
was a real Buttcrack reunion. We
had a reception in the piano bar on Sunday, and there must have been close to
50 folks there. We got to see a
lot of friends who were not able to come last year, so it was just a super
time. And Im sure there are a LOT of honeymooners from Sandals
who enjoyed showing all their friends the pictures of the crazy mostly nekkid
group who interrupted their Sandals holiday.
As we were walking back up the beach from a TOUR we did mid week, we
came across a Hedo float laying on the Sandals beach. Imagine for a moment 40 drunken Buttcrackers standing around
the float, pointing down at it, and roaring about what our float was
doing on their beach! A classic
scene if there ever was one.
April 2000 we noticed the servers started coming around to the
tables during dinner and asking if we wanted anything from the bar.
This year, they were asking even more.
Not enough that you could really depend on getting a buzz, but it is a
good way to save a few trips to the bar.
We did have a few meals where it took some extra effort to get water
refilled, but thats the breaks.
As with years past, the main buffet continues to be
extremely average. It would take
a rare individual not to be able to find something to eat, but Ive yet to
develop a taste for the preparation on many of the items from the hot food
buffet. There was one night they
were serving grilled snapper, and it was some of the best Ive had though.
I noticed they were serving margarine instead of butter this year.
That was always one of my splurges when there, so while my waistline is
thankful, I didnt get my usual fat fix.
I finally hit the breakfast when the omelet line was short, so had my
first cheese and mushroom omelet from Charlie.
THAT was pretty good stuff.
We didnt do the Scotch Bonnet. We did eat at Pastafaris though. The only negative to the meal would have been the delay
before being served our main entre. It
was NOT crowded, but it really took a long time to get the main food after the
salad. We were in good company,
and the champagne was flowing, so no big deal (we expect service to be on the
laid back side there), but this was slow even by Pastafaris standards.
But the food was excellent. We
had a Cream of Cauliflower soup that was some of the best soup Ive ever
had. They served it the next
night at the buffet, and most of us had that soup and salad for the entire
meal. Yummy!
Roberts still is our favorite for readily available
eats. The french fryer broke down
one day, but it was up and running the next.
I had my first Jamaican patty. It
was a veggie, and mainly spinach. It
was great, but it, or something else I ate about that time, sure did hit
bottom if you know what I mean. Luckily,
we were close to our room, so I didnt have far to run (lol!).
By that evening, all was back to normal.
Speaking of food, and how some of it might taste good
going down but have negative ramifications later, we tried something
different this year. Not to sound
like an advertisement, but we took some of that Pepcid AC with us.
Thats the antacid you take BEFORE you eat.
Neither of us have any real problems with indigestion, except maybe in
Jamaica. But this stuff sure did help this year. I just didn't get the acid stomach after eating all
that spice that I had in years past.
The bar service was about normal.
Delroys ran out of bananas on several days, but the plus side is
I learned he makes one hell of a mudslide too.
It never took more than a minute or so to get a drink at the main bar.
The disco bar was OK, but on PJ night it was a real challenge to get a
drink. It was packed though.
Some friends of ours renewed their vows on Monday.
This was the first wedding we had ever attended down there, and Bev and
I had considered a renewal one of these days, so we welcomed the opportunity
to go. Let me tell you, it was
absolutely beautiful. It was held down near the bird aviary (would have been too
loud with the lunchtime spin up near the gardens next to the first aid
station). The only down side was
half way through, it started to sprinkle.
By the end of the ceremony, it was a nice constant rain. But someone was able to produce a couple of umbrellas, so
bride and groom stayed dry at least. As
much as we enjoyed the wedding, if we ever do it, well probably pass on the
reception. Bride and Groom were
great, but it was maybe just a little too canned for us. It was being video taped and heavily photographed, and there
was too much posing for us. Not
a bad way to spend a rainy Monday afternoon, but we probably will pass on the
reception if we ever decide to renew.
We had full intentions of catching the find your
mate contest. We knew when it
was, and where it was (maybe 200 steps away???), but we were about 90 minutes
post brownie picnic on the beach, and we were too busy giggling.
We made
plans to do the Ricks sunset tour. Isnt
it amazing how worthless you can get down there?
We just never worked up the energy to get ready and go.
Thursday
night, about midnight, Bev had all she could take and passed out in the room.
The rest of our gang stayed at the disco, getting totally inebriated
until 3:30 in the morning. We then all made the jaunt to our room, and everyone piled in
bed with Bev. Unfortunately, I
had laid our digital camera on the bed earlier that evening, so when we
whipped back the covers, the camera went flying across the room and crashing
into the floor. Oh well, the
photos were on disk and saved. Well
see about the camera, but given the sound it makes when I shake it, it dont
sound too good.
We have yet
to make one of the repeaters parties.
Again, we planned on going, but ended up laying down at 3pm to take a
nap (really!), and didnt wake up till 6pm.
Maybe next year.
The beer
taps are apparently gone for good. We
mentioned them on our comments card, but I dont expect them back.
Dolphin aura? Were
standing in the pool waiting on a drink. Bevs at the bar, and Im standing behind her.
Someone taps me on the shoulder, I hear a cheerful hi, and turn
to find a young lady admiring the tattoo of a dolphin I have on my left cheek
(butt, not face). She shows me
her tattoo of a dolphin, we trade a few pleasantries, and say see you
around. A few minutes
later another girl comes up and mentions my tattoo. We talk a few minutes, and finally she reaches out and
touches my arm. I didnt think
anything of it, but then she gets a slightly embarrassed look and said she had
to touch me, due to the positive aura I give off due to the dolphin on my arse.
And I just thought it was a tattoo!
Maybe Ill get one on willie, and see what that inspires (lol!).
We have
snorkeled every trip we have made to Hedo, but for the first time, one of the
watersports guys told us about a cannon and large anchor that could be seen
out near the reef. We found them
both, and that was cool. Too bad
we forgot and left our underwater camera laying on the boat.
Lots of
pussies! Years past, weve seen
a few cats here and there. But
they sure have a bumper crop now. I
bet we must have seen at least a dozen of the skinniest cats you ever want to
see milling around the grounds. They
are so skittish, no way could you get close to them.
Not sure if related, but we didnt see the crab that usually is
hanging in dark corners around H block. Pussy
fodder?
One morning
we are sitting with a group of friends in the sand right at the edge of the
water. Agustus yells at us and
points behind us into the water. Swimming
past us headed down the beach, maybe 8 feet into the water, is a stingray
maybe 15 inches across. In all
our trips, thats the first we can remember seeing one in the middle of the
day, and that close to the shore. At
least to us, the water seemed a little cooler than normal.
Maybe that had something to do with it.
A lot of folks contribute to our Hedo memories.
We must know close to 40 or 50 folks during that week.
Ken and Keri, Tracy and Jennifer, Lacey and Chris, and all our good
Buttcrack friends play a role in making our annual visits so special.
Some folks didnt make the trip this year, so we hope to see them
next (and you KNOW who you are). A
small group of us discussed doing a couple nights during the first of the week
next year at Hedo III as part of a Hedo Sampler package. We are certainly not board with Hedo, but just considering
trying H3 to see what it is like. But
April 2002 is a LONG way off, and we cant even make it to Ricks one
night for a sunset. So what are
the odds on us actually trying H3 (lol!).
So until next year, take care! 50 weeks and counting!