Trip Report - June 2001

Two single women prudes, me (42) fourth trip, her (44) newbie  

*This is long, so you may want to print it & leave it in the bathroom for reading material.           

From the time we boarded the bus to Hedo, there was never a dull moment. The bus ride itself was quite an experience. Had it not been for the moron who blasted his boom box for half the  trip, I would've really enjoyed the ride.(I wont say where he was from but the initials were NY).

At one point during the trip, a huge tree limb hit the windshield. It didnt do any damage, it just added to the thrill and excitemnet of the rocky "road" and driving into oncoming traffic to pass. My favorite part was Ganga Bridge where the road narrows to a one lane bridge. Our bus had to stop to let oncoming cars cross the bridge. This provides a great sales opportunity for the drug dealers who come running up to the bus with big stalks of ganga to sell. On the other side of the bridge was a menacing looking man waving a big knife at us, turns out the knife is just for cutting the fruit he and the little children are selling, but it just struck me as a funny way of advertising. I felt like I was in a sequel to the movie "Club Paradise".  

We got to the resort around 2PM and check-in was a breeze. We got upgraded from garden view prude to ocean view prude, and it really was a nice ocean view.  

That first evening was the Ultimate Men of Hedo contest and I really enjoyed watching these guys do their dance routines. My favorite was Bobby? with the long hair who do the cave man routine. We referred to him as Conan for the rest of the week. Another guy, Billy won the contest. I didnt think he was the best, although he was very good-looking, but after meeting him later that evening, I could see he could really schmooz people, men and women, and maybe thats why he won. (he'd make a great politicin). All the contestants seem to be at the disco that night and I thought that was the best night at the disco that week, very high energy, even more so than PJ night. For me anyways. Marc was at the disco that night, too.I had heard of him but never saw him before. That guy just oozes w/sexual charisma!.I can see how he must have been a great entertainment coordinator. He flashed a smile my way once and my knees nearly buckled, I can only imagine how I would have reacted if I had seen his anaconda (never got the opportunity all week, damn!!) The music in the disco was great, mostly newer dance music with a techno, funky beat and a lot of dancehall. I bought a dancehall CD from the DJ that I have been playing constantly since I got back. I especially like the song Chi Chi Man.  

On the morning I was leaving for Hedo, I woke up thinking I must have eaten something bad & sure enough the first 4 days @ Hedo I was sick. Dont worry, I got it at home not Hedo, cause like I said I felt symptoms before I even left home. I got very little sleep the first night for a couple of reasons, one of which was I had terrible abdominal pains. In spite of that I was up early the next day to go for  walk down the beach which is one of my favorite things to do at Hedo.I had a nice conversation with the security guard at the gate. He was telling me about the fish the fisherman gave him that morning and how he was going to prepare it and what he would serve with it. It sounded wonderful. He invited me to join him for dinner and although it was tempting I declined. A big part of what I love about Hedo are these pleasant conversations with the locals everywhere I go.

Walking down the beach, past the resorts, I felt like I was seeing it all for the first time. I know this will sound so corny, but I was so overcome with joy at realizing I was 'home' again that I actually started to cry. (And to think people at work would probably descibe me as cold-hearted and emotionless). I'm not really a cold-hearted person, I just play one at work. But Hedo really brings out the passion in me and heightens all my senses and makes me laugh again,thats why its so good for me to go there.  

After my walk is breakfast, yippee!!! Bagels, salmon, cream cheese, saltfish and ackee, mangos and coffee. What could be better! Only thing is they need to change that Kenny G-like music at breakfast- it makes me feel like I'm on a cruise. Its Hedo for God's sake, play something a little more lively!  

Now, as I said, I was sick the first 4 days, so I spent those first few days differently than I normally do.I guess you could say I found out what Sand Gravity is. I wasnt up for my usual packed day of watersports and scuba. I also noticed the speaker under my tree was missing (on the prude side). I dragged someone over and asked him where my speaker was, and he said it would "soon come" it was out for repair. I took that to mean I would'nt be seeing that speaker on this trip. So, there I was, on the prude side, with no speaker under my tree to pump out the reaggae, I was in pain and unable to do anything, so I thought, what the hell, I'm going over to the nude side to sit in the hot tub, drink my rum punch and smoke my joint. I went over and got completely nude for the first time (I had only gone topless before couple times last trip) and got in the hot tub. I recognized a couple I had corresponded with who turned out to be two of the nicest people I have ever met. They introduced me to another couple from Denny's list who also was super friendly and nice and my joint brought over a single guy from the visitors list who would be a future dive buddy. Someone poured me a Purple Rain and I soon forgot my pain. (hey, that rhymes!) I really enjoyed meeting these people and I hung out with them at times during the week, but I guess I'm a prude at heart cause I never made it back to the nude side the rest of the week. I live alone in a place with lots of privacy where I could do the Irish Jig naked in front of my balcony windows and no one would notice, but I still dont walk around nude at home cause I just dont like the feeling of walking around nude.It also has to do with the PDA's. They didnt repulse me like I thought they would, but I still rather not witness them.

I come from a background that to say people werent demonstrative with affections would be the Mother of all Understatements. So its just not something I think I can get used to.

Besides, every time I even considered going back to the nude side, I'd either get so involved watching something on the prude side or get talking with some people and next thing I knew it was time to watch the sunset.  

It's amazing how I spent so much time doing nothing those few days and yet was too busy to open even one of the 5 books I brought. My friend is an avid reader, it's her favorite past time, and she did even Less than nothing all week and yet she too never found time to open a book.  

On Monday, I did the Cat Cruise with the people I met from the visitors list.We went to Pickled Parrot instead of Ricks. While there I was trying to light my pathetic joint which had ripped, when a Montreal guy came over to help me. (I love Canadians!) He left and returned with his wife and his own joint which was hash? instead of ganga. (I forgot all this stuff from my twenties). Anyways, I took one hit off that and whoa! Needless to say getting back on the Cat from the little boat I fell on all fours and my sunglasses went flying across the deck. And one of the boat crew yells "Are your boobs OK?" I was really touched by his concern. : )  

By the fifth day I was feeling better and able to scuba dive and kayak and windsurf like I usually do. On one of the dives I swam with a big turtle for a minute or two. That was an awesome experience. This year they had an underwater photographer (George) taking pictures and videos. I bought two videos of my dives which I cant wait to show everyone. Big kudos to Derek, O'Neil and Myron for always going out of their way to make the dives special.  

Monday night was the Reggae dance contest. That was hilarious! The girl who won could do things I thought only a contortionist could do - I saw another contestant point to her and say "I'm not doing that".  The guys are the funniest. Some of them have no clue but you gotta love them for the effort they make.  

PJ night was pretty good, I just wish I had been feeling better so I could drink cause I might have been better able to tolerate the guy who decided to sit on my foot and the girl who was waving her cigarette way too close to me (and my red chemise).

I met someone who was there from Lido that night. The next day he invited me to Lido ad I got a tour of the place. It's very pretty but too spread out for my taste.(I also got on of the best massages of my life!)  

I had never been to the Piano bar for sing-a-long for more than 10 minutes but I decided to try that this year. It was alot of fun. I guess I was in the hot seat right next to Dave cause I got picked on. Not to sing, cause I dont sing. But he came over to me once and started fondling my breasts. All the while I'm thinking here I am in front of dozens of people being felt up by some guy I dont even know and Its Ok...Gee, I must be at Hedo.  

Thursday night I went to the Jungle. Before going on this trip I had big plans to go out to all sorts of places but I was a total slug and so Jungle's the only outing I did. My friend on the other hand had no intention of leaving the resort and she ended up going out alot of nights. She especially liked Alfred's on the beach. I liked the Jungle for a disco, but I would have preferred going to Alfred's for live reggae on the beach. One night she got a cab backto H2 and the driver got a flat. He went to get his spare and of course that was flat, too. So, she had to get in another cab that came along.What a country!  

The grounds are beautiful. I really took the time to see the garden and bird sanctuary this time and really appreciate the beauty of all the exotic plants, trees and tropical flowers. A note to those of you who leave condoms and other garbage in the garden if you are reading this, take a walk in the daylight sometime and see what it is you are defacing. And see the face of the groundskeeper who has to clean up after you. Maybe then you'll think twice about leaving that litter behind. (Can you tell I cant stand litterbugs?)  

About the staff, I think this trip the staff in all departments was as good if not better than back in the old days. The entertainment staff was super this year. And they all seemed to be incredibly, sexy dancers! Watching them dance, especially JR?is that his name? in the disco on PJ night, was such a turn on for me. That alone was worth the price of admission.I'm gonna spend the next year trying to  learn to dance like that, but first I'm gonna have to strengthen my quads so I can get down real low while gyrating my hips...(yeah, right!) Oh, and I just love Teddy Bear, he's my favorite. He gave me a really nice sendoff on the bus.  

Water sports (and my favorites - the divers) go way out of their way to please.  

The workers there really are watching out for you. This was proven when we were leaving and they came on the bus several times to ask if anyone had left behind a bag. They kept telling my friend that it looked just like the bag she had but smaller.I had my friend get off the bus to take a picture and when she did, an employee took her by the hand and lead her to the front desk and said "Put the drink down. Is this your bag?" And sure enough it was. Duh!! I guess that's what a rum-soaked brain will do to you. (it only had all her valuble stuff in it like credit cards, travel documents, etc)..

The nusrsing staff was very nice. One nurse took the initiative to call me to see how I was doing the morning after the night I stopped in with really bad abdominal pain.  

The wait staff was so attentive in every way. Always coming by to see if you need a drink. Or helping to find a table.  

It was a great week made better by meeting some great people and renewing frendships from last year. 'L', if youre reading this, I still have to laugh everytime I see the big burn on my knee from the curling iron and remember you saying "Girl, you gotta shave those things!).

I went into this trip thinking it would be my last trip to Hedo cause I want to stay at a non-all-inclusive in Negril sometime so I can really experience the local culture and take the time to explore more of Jamaica. But, of course, by the end of the wek I found myself planning my next trip back to Hedo.Maybe I'll find a way to do both -  any rich folks out there that would like to adopt me?

Colleen