November 24 - December 3
I am sure no-one cares about how we got to hedo, honestly...I don't even care how we got there, the important thing is we were there and we had the best vacation ever. I am not going to talk about the food, because the only food worth talking about was at Robert's grill and you shouldn't be going to hedo for the food anyway! I also will not talk about the accomodations...there was a bed, a toilet and a shower, all you need to survive 10 days at hedo. If you want accomodations that rival the Ritz, go to the Ritz!
I knew it was going to be interesting trip when our TimAir pilot asked us where we were going and when we responded with "Hedo", he laughed and said "oh, you goin to de zoo mon!" I should tell you that I was a prude when i started this trip but as the days (hours?) went by, i lost my pruditiy (no, i dont think that is a real word, i made that one up!).
Thanks to many wonderful people, we had an awesome time. We were fortunate enough to meet Doug (hedodude aka Barber of Negril) within our first hour in the nude pool. One word of advice, there are certain things you don't do when you go to hedo, don't tell people you are a hedo virgin, and dont tell them you are from new york! I had 8 men, lead by Doug, singing all sorts of perverted songs to me and reciting Andrew Dice Clay's stand up routine. I pray to god that ADC gets a new routine if he should ever make a come-back! I was paraded around the pool on Doug's and someone else's shoulders (i think it was doc), and i was enthusiastically persuaded to be the first one down the car wash after Doug yelled "i got a virgin here!". Funny thing was, i thought i had left hubby passed out in a corner of the hot tub, but realized i had not when i spotted him in the car wash line-up along with Jeff who had assured me that the car wash was no big deal, that i should do it (what an opportunist!).
Another thing you don't want to do at hedo (maybe some of you do *wink*), is have someone (in my case it was Chris) show you the Spritzer fountain when there is nothing going on in the pool or the hot tub. Why, you ask? Well, chris had me get on this thing, and it is truly a woman's glimpse into heaven, but when i looked up i realized that the entire hot tub and the entire nude pool were all watching me...hardly an intimate moment! Worse yet, they all laughed at me when i yelled for them to turn around, hmmmm what's up with that?
Yes, there was open sex, no, there were no sex police, yesssssss hubby and i christened the hot tub, the pool, the ocean and the jacuzzi (ohhhhh the jets in the jacuzzi, ooops getting side-tracked here!). We were pretty discrete about our little displays of "affection", we chose quiet corners of the pool etc, but there were those who just did it wherever, whenever, and however they chose to.
Take part in every activity you can. We had a blast at the games. I won a couple of contests (reggae dance contest, sexy toga etc) and came home with bottles of tia maria, hubby won the no-tan contest and was dubbed "chicken shit" by dave at the piano bar because he wouldnt strip on the piano. We are going to miss Steve's rendition of Under the boardwalk, and Doug's rendition of Margaritaville (Hedonisimville!) Chris has a wonderful little song she does about Yogi the Bear, you gotta see it to appreciate it!
We did the nude cruise to the pickled parrot, that was awesome. I jumped off the cliff and screamed the whole way down and ended up swallowing a ton of water...yuk! I wouldn't have jumped if our friends from the boat hadnt spotted me and started yelling for me to jump (is it considered friendly to tell someone "jump" ?)
On rainy days, i highly recommend a game called strip spoons. We met some amazing people from arizona who taught us this game. There we were, in the game room at Veronica's, and i was not aggressive enough in diving for the spoons, i ended up naked first. For some strange reason, i thought there would be a gentleman in the room who would say "oh, let her keep her clothes on"....yeah...right! At least i didnt walk out of there with bumps and bruises on me, like some OTHER people! We were so fortunate to hook up with Cindy, Steve & Joan, Glen & Shannon, Bob and Steve. You guys made this trip for us! I hope glen and bob took a picture of the artwork i left on their bathroom mirror, it is rare that i have these artistic moments! Also, thanks for helping out with our reputation, talk about guilt by association! Cindy and Steve, we better be in the wedding party....enough said!
Another fun thing to do, if you are in the hot tub late at night and are a little thirsty, take a walk to the disco bar nude! I never would have done anything like that at home. We met Eric & Tammy and Tom in the hot tub, before we knew it, Eric convinced us that we were thirsty and that we needed to invade the disco bar. Tammy and I grabbed towels but when we got to the bar, the bar tender told the guys they had to cover up! Next thing i knew Tammy and i lost our towels and norm was telling tom to grab a napkin (no reference whatsoever to Tom's size if you know what i mean!). I guess female nudity in the bar is okay?
We were sorry that we didnt have more time to spend with Mike (aka lickwoman) and Helene. I spent over a year chatting and emailing with mike and we didnt have enough time together (all he got to do was lick chocolate off my boob). We also didnt have enough time with Janette and Paul, what a great couple! Jeff and Lisa, we were really sorry to see you guys leave. Carol & Allen and Ron (my fellow New York Traaaansplaaant) and Silvia keep in touch or else! Andre and Leslie, we were so sorry to have missed you at Ricks, you are a sweet couple and we look forward to seeing you at you-know-where! I was also sorry that a certain "red neck" and his wife were not able to get to hedo while we were there, you know who you are, someday we will meet at hedo and we will tear the place up!
The staff at hedo was awesome. What a considerate group of people (dave offered me a seat in his lap several times.....what a gentleman!) and one of the other guys offered to dance with me during the reggae contest so i wouldnt be alone but he couldnt dance with me....because you were supposed to be alone! Delroy and scumba were great, kept the drinks flowing...i know this because norm tried to do 10 days worth of drinking in our first hour at hedo and i think he came damn near close to accomplishing it!
All in all, we had a great time and met the greatest people. I apologize if i didnt mention anyone's name, we met so many people i just couldnt keep up. We traded email addresses with lots of people and i know we will be keeping in touch. It is so true, you really do meet lifelong friends at hedo! Until next year.....respect and love to all our new friends!