As I write this, Bob Marley's Greatest Hits is playing on the CD.
For this report, I will dispense with the usual 500 word dissertation on the
plane ride from DFW to MBJ and the first names of my 253 new, closest friends. I
will try to answer questions and address some concerns raised by contributors to
DennyP's message board
The Timair fleet consists mostly of 30-year-old
Cessna 182s. I know because I used to skydive from one when I was in college,
shortly after the Wright Brothers' first flight. We could hang from the wing
struts. I'm not a pilot (although I once flew a 737 under the Golden Gate Bridge
on a Microsoft Flight Simulator), but I spent 4 years as an aircraft maintenance
officer in the U.S. Air Force. I thought it was strange that the Timair pilot
did not use any kind of a checklist or pre-flight the aircraft. Maybe he did,
but I didn't see it. Also, I noticed that the EGT gauge on the return trip was
not operational. Now, this is not the most important instrument in the cockpit,
but it would not happen in the U.S. The pilot did point out the location of the
fire extinguisher, but I think that was because he had to. Well, I guess if they
were dropping from the skies like flies every day, we'd read about it in the
papers. Of course, if you feel really adventurous, you could always take the
"bus ride from hell" . . .
Will I fly again with them? Probably.
CHECK IN
The Hedo check-in desk now has computers with flat screen plasma displays. But
their check-in procedures are as screwed up as they were 10 years ago. I figure
that if they haven't fixed them by now, it ain't ever gonna happen. Have lunch
and come back later.
NUDE BEACH
Denny's boards have lots of complaints of prudes wandering into the nude beach
wearing their baggies and eating Delroy's Jerk Chicken, etc. Maybe it's because
I was not particularly on the lookout for them, but I saw very few prudes on the
nude beach. I saw none in the pools or in the hot tub, ever. The closest things
to prudes that I saw were a few women wearing bikini bottoms, and I figure that
probably was due to an unresolved scheduling conflict between their biology and
vacation.
ROOM
Room was ok. Clean enough. Ours had twin beds, but we're not newlyweds, so it
was no big deal, I guess, at least not enough of a problem to request a room
change. It must have been the Singles' Suite. I like to take an afternoon snooze
and the maid kept knocking on the door in the PM to deliver washcloths. Man, am
I grouchy when I first wake up.
SCUBA DIVING
My favorite topic: I could go on all day but will spare you. In short, I am a
certified SCUBA instructor (NAUI) and have over 500 logged dives in various
places throughout the world. I must say this: I have never seen a more
safety-conscious operation than the one at Hedo II. I cannot praise the Hedo
staff enough. They are the best. I'd like to add that when I was newly certified
in 1991, I made my first ocean dive in at Hedo. They took special care of me and
it would be my privilege to dive with them, any time, any place.
TOPLESS NIGHT
Topless night was a real disappointment. I counted no more than 5 or 6 couples
participating. Then the voyeurs and the baseball-caps-on-backwards crowd arrived
and started watching from the peanut gallery. I think we left after about 15
minutes.
REGGAE NIGHT
If you must miss anything, don't miss Reggae Night. Great show. Great band.
Great singer. Played a lot of old Bob Marley standards. I guess you've figured
out by now that Mikey loves Reggae.
PJ NIGHT
PJ costumes were better than on previous trips. Crowded, but not unexpected. The
Disco was turned into a mosh pit. This is a Full Contact Pajama Party. Somebody
stabbed Judy in the back of the knee with a spiked heel (not intentionally, of
course). Ouch, that smarts! Get another Stoli and boogie on down.
FOOD
I don't understand all the complaints about the food. Want $18-19 a pound lox
for breakfast every day? You got it. Want a pie and donut omelet? You got it. My
God!!! You want somebody to come over and eat it for you too? Some say that
Jamaican cooking is too "spicy". Want bland, go to England.
I guess lobster night has gone the way of the dodo bird and passenger pigeon,
but we have crawfish night, and IMHO, that's just as good. Just make sure you
come early and load up because if you wait too long, they run out.
OTHER MISCELLANEOUS COMMENTS
I see various posts submitted by prospective Hedophiles who are concerned by the
fact that they are not hardbodies or as gorgeous as anorexic runway models, and
therefore may not wish to visit the nude beach, or for that matter, visit Hedo
at all.
Let me say this: Hedo is probably the least judgmental place that you are likely
to encounter in your entire life. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY gives a rip about
how fat, skinny, pale, wrinkled, etc. you are, whether you have scars, tattoos,
three eyeballs, or anything else. (Well, maybe if you intentionally pierce your
skin with fishhooks.) You get the idea. In fact, the people that I admire most
are those who are not "glamorous" in the conventional sense, but have
high self esteem. I could go into detail and give descriptions, but I won't. You
who have been to Hedo know exactly about what I refer. What goes at Hedo stays
at Hedo. At Hedo, nobody cares about physical appearances. That's the beauty of
the place. If you really aren't concerned with what others think, (if they're
thinking anything at all), then you are truly free, and you have my RESPECT.
One Last Word - Tree Frogs
Some say they are tree frogs. One local told me they were crickets. Personally, I subscribe to the tree frog theory but I don't think anyone knows for sure. They're sort of like Spam. Nobody knows what goes into it. There's probably some little spam animal somewhere, yet to be discovered.
Mikey and Judy
Check out Mikey's DIF page for Hedo pics.