Mike & The Lovely Lisa- 05/00
well its about time is all i can think as i sit down to finally do this trip
report. our trip was complete in mid may 2000, and now it is.....um well
...er...um .....lets just say we all know its been a long time, but at least
im doing one! The Lovely Lisa was after me for some time to get this report
out.
The lovely Lisa and I met a few folks on the plane and since it was a
charter all were going to different resorts. invariably it came up
..."where
are you staying in jamaica?" we would reply...HEDO. "you mean the
NAKED
place?????" um....YUP! wanna come? no no no no no ....they would say...i
could never do that, but they were all intrigued! hedo has a way of infecting
even the people who would never think of going there!
we like so many others met great people on dennys site, and built our own
little group before we ever made it to hedo. in fact when we got there on a
suday nite and found out we were supposed to be bumped to lido we just bunked
in with some friends we met on the board. name me another resort you can do
THAT!!!!
we arrived about 4pm on may the 7th, and spent about 30 mins trying to get
our room. i tried telling the girl at the desk that i loved her...that i had
always loved her. bumped anyway. i was a bit nervous about getting naked for
the first time so i was using my time wisely to increase my tolerance to
personal public nudity thru large quantities of bacardi limon. this
particular liquid when taken internally will lower ones inhibitions
considerably. at least thats what i have been told. as i do not remember most
of the remainder of may the 7th 1999. all i know is that the rest of the week
everywhere i went i was pointed at and heard vague whispers like "thats the
guy who was doing the dance", and "there he is ....DONT STARE!!"
so i am
assuming that the bacardi only reduced my inhibitions, and memory, and my
ability to have fun and make an impression was still in tact! I would write
more about the first day, but i dont remember it!
Monday!, tuesday, wednesday, and really all the other days will follow. the
hardest part of doing a trip report when i first came back was remembering
what sh*t happened which day, and 3 months has not improved my recollection.
i will say this all events are true, nothing is made up, but the names have
been changed to protect all the peoples names i cant actually remember anyway!
We were nervous about the first day on the nude side for many reasons not the
least of which was i was afraid with all that naked...mr happy would want to
stand up to take a peek. fortunately i did not have this problem.
unfortunately (or so i thought) one of our group did have this problem. The
Lovely Lisa's tush seemed to have a particular effect on him (it has that
effect on me also, but i was able to control myself in public) so we did what
all good friends would do and did everything in our power to call attention
to this young man. at first we thought with time and what not he would get
used to it, and the woody would diminish. no such luck. and funny enough
linda of linda adn mike in our group found that if she poured beer on it
....it got bigger. figures...all guys love beer!!!! there were the two lovely
ladies who later in the week attempted to solve his problem with a more
agressive tack....a double blow job by the side of the pool around high noon!
that did not work either. all that did was make him walk around with a big
boner and a big smile! BRAGGART!!!
personally i didnt mind him being at "attention" all the time. the
only thing
i got tired of were the ....."why cant you be more like brian"
comments From
the lovely Lisa! JEEZ!!! i was doing the best i could! maybe if i got more
double blow jobs id be able to have a boner all day! and maybe not, but the
point i am trying to make is it wouldnt hurt!
on another day one of our group..the famous "larry from kansas
city" (maybe
one of the funniest men alive) brought out squirt guns. we spent the next 4
hours squirting the heck out of one another! when one of the cute staff
members an entertainment coordinator came out and was looking for people to
participate in a "scavenger hunt". i couldnt resist and when she wasnt
looking i squirted her over and over. well i should have noticed that she was
taking things out of her pockets because all of a sudden she LEAPED in the
pool to get me. she wrestled the squirt gun away from me, and squirted me
half to death! it was to say the least an hysterical moment to see my fat
naked ass running like hell in a pool from this tiny little jamaican woman.
We only made it to one lunch time spin. it was my idea to head to the dining
room for lunch, as we had not done it as of yet. it was "bodies in
motion" or
the male version of the wet t-shirt contest. I GOT CORRALLED! "whats your
name?" they asked me politely before the contest began, and i looked them
right in the eye, and said..."larry from kansas city!" i gyrated and
moved
with little or no rythym, for about 45 mins and got to do a private dance for
some girl in the audience, and of course "bared all" at times. and
came in
3rd. i was pretty happy with that showing as the guy who won was straight out
of a magazine. perfect physique, long hair, tattoos, and even 2 nipple rings.
how do you compete with that????? plus he had rythym....i think he was a
ringer!!!! oh well if you remember i competed as larry from kansas city so i
had to give my certificate for 3rd to him!!! it was a great time tho, and for
the rest of my life ill be able to say i did a strip tease in front of a room
full of women! im going to try to come up witha better stage name than larry
for next time tho! The down side to placing in this contest is now the
Lovely Lisa expects private showings nightly at our house, but on the upside
i have more dollar bills to spend these days.
We did the nude cat cruise and would recommend this to anyone! we had great
fun snorkeling and drinking. and drinking and drinking, and lets see we also
did some drinking. this was also the home of the famous and fabulous
"reggae
Blow job girl". after the pickled parrot was over and all the drunken
fools...i was the head of this group....were loaded back on the boat one girl
got a bit amorous wiht her significant other! The Lovely mLisa poked me in
the ribs and said....."you are missing the show!!!" i said
"huh?" and i
looked over and there it was...a beautiful woman giving spirited head exactly
in time with the reggae music! talk about rythym. lets just say if i were
that guy i would own every cd bob marley ever made!!!! go girl go!!!
one other amusing incident happened at the nude pool one afternoon. once
again after a day filled with drinking and ...well lets just say frivolity!
one of the members of our group decided to get out of the pool,a nd climbed
out right near me. i was looking the other way, and when i turned around
there was a big white ass..(sun block 2000 i think) staring me in the face! i
did waht all good natured people would do when presented with this
opportunity! i slapped the ass! i mean the head attached to the ass had long
hair, and the ass was slender! it seemed appropriate. lets just say the beard
should be on the back if you intend to be a guy! i am still sorry chris, and
no julie i do not want to steal your man! (an aside: if you ever want to see
an incredibly shocked look slap a man's ass as he leaves the pool. i think
chris was this close ((holds up finger and thumb to approximate closeness))
to having a stroke! hehehehehehe one of the funnier moments of the trip!
On our last day i had to return to the room for some reason or another, and i
came around the corner and began walking up the hill. Tehre hanging from the
second story window was a couple, and they were obviously "enjoying the
flavor of hedo" <---- (this is a euphamism for having sex), and i looked
up
at another wondow to see my friend carol watching....all i could think to say
to her was......"THIS PLACE IS COOL"
A FEW OBSERVATIONS AND TIPS!!
we loved the message board before we went and i personally was voracious
about getting all the info i could before we left! i strongly urge those
thinking of going or those committed to going to read the trip reports on
this site! A special thank you to denny for allowing all us hedophiles to
vent and connect on this great site!
I slipped the pool bartenders a few bucks halfway thru the week, and never
waited long for a drink the remainder of the time we stayed. Coincidence?
perhaps, but ill certainly slip a few more at the beginning of my next stay!
just in case.
bring the cups everyone tells you about they are a godsend.
leave your inhibitions at home! there is no room for them at hedo. there is
way too much partying and fun in one small spot for you to take up room with
inhibitions. save em for home. where everyone likes them anyway. go to hedo
and talk to the person next to you! laugh with the people all around you, and
above all HAVE FUN!!
if you have even the slightest inkling DO THE BODIES IN MOTION CONTEST, o the
wet t shirt or whatever.....the fun far out weighs the embarassment.
do drink appletons rum, and eat robert's jerk chicken at least once..and if
you do you will eat it twice. tell him mike from boston says hi!
go to ricks for at least one sunset, and a little lite beer. that red stripe
gets heavy and sweet after time. i swear a 12 ounce bottle of it weighs about
16 ounces!!
We loved hedo and are looking into a repeat performance in May including a
vow renewal to celebrate our new stronger more solid relationship! to all of
the people who have changed our lives forever....mike and linda the fantasy
makers, and deb and larry possibly the funniest couple on the planet, and to
brian and kim the amazing woody himself, chris the as slapped musician of the
group the lovely julie! and all the rest of the group thank you for making
this the best week of my life, and i cant wait to see you all again soon!
Mike from boston!