HEDO TRIP REPORT
3/2 to 3/11
Views from a long delayed returnee
I would like to offer this trip report from the viewpoint
of someone that has not been to Hedo since 1988. You have probably read many
reports from multiple returnees and many first timers or second timers, but I
wanted to offer the viewpoint of someone who returned after a long absence. I
will not bore you with the day to day details of our activity, but more
precisely address some of the issues that have been raised in other reports in
the past. I will offer my views as someone that is not new to Hedo but not a
virgin either.
THE FLIGHT – The first thing I can offer as being
different was our flight. The last time I went to Hedo, we used an
all-inclusive (including airfare) package. We used a contracted air carrier
and quite frankly it was terrible (both times). This time I was determined to
work out my own air arrangements. We chose a Delta/Air Jamaica flight and were
very happy with the connection. We had a minor set back at the very start, but
it did not impact our trip and were quite happy with all of our arrangements
and travel experience. We had no problems with Air Jamaica and enjoyed the
trip immensely.
THE BUS TRIP – I had taken the trip 3 times (both ways)
by bus in the past and was not thrilled at the thought of doing it again.
However, my wife and our friends traveling with us were first timers and we
chose to ride the bus for the experience. After deplaning and grabbing our
luggage we headed for the SuperClubs desk and checked in. Check in was simple
and easy. After a minor wait, we were directed to our bus. We had a full load
and after getting everyone situated, we were off. Most everyone picked up some
red stripe for the trip but we ran out quickly and had to make a beer stop.
Anyway, the roadwork is still in progress, but I will tell you the bus ride is
not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It wasn’t half as bad as it was
back in 88. And yes you do get propositions for ganja, but it is discreet and
a simple no thank you is enough. There was a (decent) pit stop now available
as opposed to 88. The trip is just like anything else, it’s all in your
prospective. Bottom line, the bus trip is not as bad as they make it out.
However, it was a little disheartening for those that have never experienced
driving on the other side of the road (aka: Britain) Just takes some getting
used to.
THE CHECK-IN/OUT – We arrived about 2:30PM on a
Thursday. The desk asked us to wait till three for our rooms, so we just went
to the bar and ordered a drink. By the time we got settled, it was time for
our rooms and we checked in without a hassle or bumping. No problem mon! Room
keys are on an elastic band you can put around your wrist or ankle. It didn’t
look like the new computers helped all that much as they were still using a
paper record. But we had no problem. Check out was a breeze. Drop off the key
and away you go. Not much difference from 88.
THE ROOM – We didn’t get the area we wanted (H-Block)
and I’m sure we could have changed but we decided to give it a go. We got
the rooms by the basketball courts. And by all accounts they were suppose to
be terrible. However, we found them to be fine. We didn’t have one problem
with being bothered by people playing basketball at 2AM. Besides the new air
conditioners make enough noise to drowned out any outside noise. But if you
turn them off, it does seem awful quiet in there. You can adjust the air
conditioning, it just takes a little figuring out. (note: they use Celsius not
Fahrenheit and “reset” is off) The
rooms were not all that different from 88. They were comfortable and
acceptable, considering we were only there to sleep and change clothes.
Hairdryer worked fine and radio/CD player worked fine as well and were welcome
additions from 88. But, as usual, the water temperature does fluctuate, but I
have stayed in four start hotels that do the same thing. Relax, get used to it
or don’t shower when everyone else does. Pressure wasn’t a problem. The
mirror on the ceiling was always entertaining.
THE FOOD – We found the food to be very good. Breakfast
was excellent, plenty of fresh fruit as always and the omelets were great as
always. Not much different from 88. Lunch was always spent at the nude grill,
never did make it to the dining room for lunch. (however, we did hear lunch
was good) The nude grill was a nice addition from 88, as the whole nude area
was new. But the grill is a nice addition and used by all. The food was
excellent including the Jerk chicken at 6:00PM and the staff were all
wonderful. Dinner was quite acceptable. Remember, this is buffet style eating,
but I think the quality was very good. Salads were excellent, as were the main
courses and deserts. Even on Wednesday, when they had oriental, they offered a
pasta bar that was very nice and for those that ate the oriental, they said it
was good. The main difference I remember from 88 was the deserts. You had a
slightly larger choice and liqueurs to poor over your deserts if you wished in
88. This was missed my me. But the desserts were still quite good.
We ate at Pastafari’s 3 times and we enjoyed it immensely. This was a
very nice addition from 88. I was quite surprised that it was not used by as
many people as I had imagined. We had no problems making reservations or even
walking in. One of the most enjoyable parts of eating dinner was watching the
all the wonderful outfits the ladies wore (Slutwear).
THE BARS – This may be the one area that I found not to
meet the experience from 88. There were fewer bartenders (or at least it
seemed) and the service was not up to the previous trips. However, this does
not mean that we had any problems with our bartenders. We can’t not speak
for the prude side, but all the staff at the nude beach bar, with the
leadership of Delroy and Scumba, was excellent. They were very happy to fill
our large drink mugs without hesitation. Consistency was a little off, but
what do you expect when you free pour everything. It was still OK by me. The
bartenders in the main dining room were acceptable. I think the service was a
little better in 88. But the biggest key, as it has always been, is respect.
You treat them with respect, they will treat you with respect. Say please and
thank you and don’t demand drinks and you will be treated fairly. Remember,
you’re in Jamaica, no problem mon! We had a great time at Veronica’s as
well. The entertainment was excellent. The piano man works hard to keep
everyone laughing and singing.
THE NUDE BEACH – This may be the biggest change from
88. The last time I was there, there were hardly any facilities on the nude
side, except, Delroy’s bar (which is now the massage shack) and the hot tub.
I found all the new facilities on the nude beach side to be excellent and a
great addition from my previous trips. The grill (previously discussed), the
new bar area with swim up seats, the pool, transition tub or whatever you want
to call that thing, the cool pool with the fountain, which our women would
suggest a slightly higher pressure, and the hot tub. All were excellent and a
great addition from years ago. The new dike area was nice for sunbathing, as
it created a nice beach area that was larger from years ago. We spent the
major portion of our trip in this area. Only one negative: The number of
people coming down to the nude area without getting naked. We watched numerous
people come down to the nude bar and order drinks and stand around with out
getting naked. Security was very helpful with controlling this when we brought
it to their attention. Please don’t harass people coming to the nude beach
to get naked. Many people including ourselves wore clothes to the beach, only
to take them off when we got where we were going. If you have a problem with
people wearing clothes, let security take care of it, that’s what they are
there for.
THE COORDINATORS – We found the coordinator’s to be excellent and full of energy. Quite frankly, I don’t know how they keep the energy level so high. A special thanks to Maria (the best looking female coordinator on the beach not to mention the hottest) and to Mark (the hottest male body at the resort).
But to all the coordinators, they do an excellent job
with out much reward. So if you enjoy their efforts, please let them know!
THE STAFF – We found the whole staff to be wonderful
and helpful. They always had a smile on their face and a cheerful greeting.
These people work hard (maybe not fast) but they do work hard, so do not
hesitate to say hi and start a conversation, you may be surprised at what you
learn. A special thank you goes out to Augustus. The wonderful gentleman that
keeps the whole nude beach up to snuff. We greatly appreciated his wonderful
personality and cheerful greetings each and every day and all the hard work he
puts in to keep the nude beach clean and presentable. And of course we can’t
leave out Delroy and Scumba, the masters of the nude beach bar.
Someone had made a comment about the staff eating with
the guests. We found that to be very enjoyable. We were lucky enough to have a
staff member join us for breakfast a couple of times and found them to be very
knowledgeable and very nice people. We enjoyed their company and conversation
immensely.
THE FACILITIES – I found there to be almost no
difference from when I was there in 88 except for the nude beach area. This
may be a mental breakdown on my part, but I was amazed at how much it didn’t
change. The Check in area did change a little, but the entry and dining room
were all the same. The rooms were the same, the main pool and beach area were
the same except for the trapeze equipment now in place. The basketball courts,
tennis courts and squash courts all the same. The court yard has been upgraded
from the last time (more shops). The gym area is improved, also the new pool
table (remember folks I’m talking from 88). You now have checkers and chess
to play (large pieces) in the courtyard. Believe it or not these things
provided an excellent venue for humor (know what I mean John). Even the disco
hasn’t changed. Loud as every and still hot.
THE ACTIVITIES – We found the activities to be better
than expected and I actually enjoyed them better than in 88. The nightly
activities moved along fairly well. They even moved the painting auction to
the courtyard at 10:00PM for those that wanted to attend. They left the main
area for dancing. Which we enjoyed. Toga night was enjoyable except for the
number of people not wearing toga’s. The battle of the sexes was a hoot to
watch. We missed most of the lunch time spin’s except the wet t-shirt
contest. That contest was quite enjoyable, however, it was a little over
balanced with some models that were there to do a shoot. We have no problem
with this, but we felt it was a little unfair for the amateurs that wanted to
participate but wouldn’t. But everyone one did have a good time. For as much
as we wanted to, we never did get to participate in the nude volleyball. We
did participate in a few games and we did win enough hedo bucks to take home
some liquor. So we did enjoy the games. No one was overly pushy in getting
participation. Our suggestion is to participate, you might be surprised, you
might have some fun. And we can’t leave out pajama night. I was a little
disappointed at the lack of real participation, but I think part of that has
to do with the number of first timers. We seemed to have a large amount of
first timers, and unless you were part of denny’s site, you probably didn’t
know what to expect. We also caught a lot of vinnies at this activity. I guess
it could have been part of the spring breakers. Oh well, we did happen to win
for best couple.
THE SEX – In as much as there was none that I was aware
of in 88, there was considerably more this time. For the most part we saw no
sex police. No obvious sex during the day, not to say that it didn’t go on.
Even we participated by way of the hammocks. But I would be surprised if
anyone even noticed. We found this acceptance quite nice. Oh yeah, we did
watch one lady get caught giving her husband head, when they were out floating
on their raft, by the Couples boat (the resort next door for those that are
not familiar), which happened to be passing by. But she was undaunted. Once
the boat passed she resumed her task to the delight of all. We applaud her
persistence. As for the hot tub there was plenty of activity. Everyday about
5:00PM (happy hour) everyone meets in the hot tub and you usually see some
kind of action before dinner. The only thing we did not enjoy was the amount
of wallies and later the vinnies that invaded the hot tub. Then again about
midnight, everyone returns to finish their evening with a little activity. We
saw just about everything, so if you don’t want to see it, don’t go. But
if you go, be prepared. We personally couldn’t get into some of the activity
because we felt so uncomfortable with all the wallies watching. But others had
no problems. I guess it’s all up to what you want to do. However, even with
the wallies, we greatly enjoyed all the company and the people that we met in
the hot tub. One note to Vicki, we wished you and Vince would have joined us.
You would have been more than welcome.
THE CATAMARAN CRUISE – All I can say about this is TAKE
IT! You will have a good time. We went on the nude cruise twice and enjoyed
them both. Ladies, be SURE and get a foot massage from Steve, you will not be
sorry. We went to the pickled Parrot and went off the slides. We had a great
time. This bar was not on the cruise in 88. One thing that was the same was
Rasta Ralphie. Always a pleasure.
THE PEOPLE – I may be wrong, but we found the majority
of the guests on the nude side to be a lot friendlier than those of the prude
beach of years past. The ages did surprise me as well. We saw everything from
young 18 year olds to 70 something’s (and I’m being gracious) with the
ages favoring the mid 30’s to 40’s group. But we thought it was great for
people of older age to get out and do the things that they wanted to do.
They didn’t let age dictate their activity and I for one applaud
them. We also met all kinds of people of all shapes and sizes. No one needs to
be concerned about going to Hedo because of the way they look. I also feel
that there is more of a sexual tension on the nude beach from years past. This
is not good or bad, just an observation. Personally, we enjoyed it. We were
even lucky enough to meet the venerable Chris Santilli and her beau, Doug.
They are even more charming in person than I had expected. No, that’s not
true. I expected her to be just like she was, wonderfully charming, witty and
friendly. She is a wonderful person and a joy to meet. (her book is a must for
the newbie and a great reference for the experienced). For the many wonderful
people we met, we cannot begin to thank each and every one of you for your
contribution to the enjoyment of our vacation. We can only say thank you. You all know who you are and we
will stay in touch with each of you as best we can.
GENERAL OBSERVATIONS: This is not a four star resort.
Therefore, I don’t expect 4 start accommodations or food. I think Hedo
provides exactly what it promises. It gives you the opportunity to be wicked
for a week. Personally, I am amazed that they have been able to maintain this
facility in the condition it is in, considering the years between my visits.
Sometimes, I think, the vets that have been going twice a year for a few
years, can get a little jaded. They visit enough that any little drop off in
service is noticeable. This is not a shot at the vets, it’s just an
observation. I found the resort to be exactly like I remembered and a lot more
than I expected on my return. I enjoyed my trip tremendously and I think I can
speak for my wife and our friends and say that they also enjoyed their trip.
As we have all said that we will return as soon as we can afford it. I would
say that the only thing that we didn’t enjoy was the number of single men.
Our only suggestion, and I know I will take some heat for this, is that Hedo
should be for couples only. Again, this is only an opinion. I know that there
are plenty of singles that are not a problem, but we just felt that they made
our group very uncomfortable. We do not mean to insult single, we just feel
that we would like to find a resort like Hedo for couples only. Or maybe the
resort should try and balance the attendance of singles a little. Ratios of 15
or 20 to one if that good are not uncommon.
Last word: For those that have not gone: GO! For those
than have gone and will go again: Can’t wait to meet you. For those that
went and didn’t care for it: We’re sorry to hear it but at least now you
know where not to go!
Feel free to e-mail us with any questions.
Irie,
Herb & Joyce