For our first trip to Hedo2, we brought along an attitude that's different from our usual cautious, intelligent (we think) examination of new things. Both of us decided we'd enter every silly contest, dance every dance, meet new people, party naked, snorkel naked. We'd smile at people. We'd talk to anyone who looked even remotely friendly. Our rewards were great. We have some wonderful new friends, we have great memories and we plan to go back to Hedo2. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Before our first trip to Hedo, Janet was a little uncertain and insecure, so we put together a friendly email introducing ourselves and sent it to about 15 addresses George found on Denny's web site. We got a great response - just about everyone replied with information about themselves (pets, kids, hobbies, interests) and pictures. Folks who had been to Hedo before were generous with information and advice for first-timers; thanks to these new friends we were smart enough to get tanned, we knew how much cash to bring, and most of all, Janet felt MUCH less nervous about the trip. Plus, the ongoing emails helped build everyone's anticipation as the chilly weeks passed. The result was that when we arrived, before we even got to our room, we were greeted by an email friend who recognized us from our picture! I (George) will never forget our friend Steve for that. We made so many friends before we arrived, we felt as if we were coming home to a familiar and wonderful place. It was as if we knew half the people there-and the other half wanted to meet us. We read that the Internet isolates people: in this case, it brought people together.
Before the trip:
Take the twelve tanning sessions. Some people did get sunburns, me (George) included, but after two days, the worst pain was over. Get Chris Santilli's book. Bring water shoes, particularly if you want to take the walk South down Seven Mile Beach. Bring insulated cups with lids. These were wonderful and everyone had them. Motion sickness pills taken before the small plane ride or the catamaran cruise really work. You don't need a water gun.
During the trip. These are some of the ideas that percolated through our minds:
It's important to know what you want, but it's also important to know what you don't want. At Hedo you can have all the food you can eat and all the booze you can drink. Someone told me he had gained 9 pounds in a single day (well, it was lobster-tail night). We saw a guy so drunk someone had to help him stagger to a beach chair, where he collapsed. Are you happier buzzed or not buzzed? Will you waste a day being sick in your room? How does your body handle the aftereffects? We were very happy with the quality and variety of food in the main dining room. You can make your meals as healthy or as indulgent as you want them to be. Walking on the beach in a Southward direction and going past the Couples/Sandals/Swept Away -clone resorts we saw people playing Solitaire. We saw chairs lined up in parallel rows instead of friendly groups. Couples sat isolated from the other husband-wife pairs. It was a revealing contrast to the friendly groupings at Hedo. There were lots of rafts available from a public pile, but check the date on the side before you help yourself to one - it might belong to someone currently at the resort. Play the games-particularly if you're a first timer. If you have to do something embarrassing, something that you don't think you'll want to talk to your mother about like the Fake Orgasm contest, just think, you'll be able to laugh about it later, and you just might win! If you're not a first-timer, enjoy the antics of others. Dance with your wife/husband/friend. I dance like I 'm wearing a suit of Medieval armor but that didn't stop me. Janet enjoyed dancing terrifically: she should have won the dance contest but she was aced out by someone wearing a see-through skin-tight white dress. At least she got more Hedo bucks than I did. Wear your wildest costumes-we won best bondage costume on PJ night, with outfits we never thought we'd wear outside our elaborate home dungeon. I wore my Y2K hat that flashes pretty lights; Janet revealed less than she usually reveals on the nude beach, but not much less. Watch how the Entertainment Coordinators are working. They're there twenty-four hours a day telling us that we don't just Boogie at Hedo, we Boogie Woogie. They're also great for photo opportunities. They're well-spoken, polite, funny, and very sincere. At the end, one of them said to Janet, "Goodbye, you sexy lady." I think he'd gotten used to seeing Janet in all those contests (see below) shaking her tushy for everyone's benefit. Smile a lot. Befriend the single. In our email group, we met Jeff, one of the nicest people you'd ever want to meet. Single guys need a support group at Hedo. You can't help but be daunted at the odds single guys face. As we were checking out at the hotel, we saw four beautiful single girls checking in and thought immediately of how Jeff would've been up to see them and then down to find out that two of them were Lesbians. Take pictures naked. You can't show them to your kids or your mom but at least you'll have them for your old age. Important: Don't wave your camera around on the nude beach; get permission or make sure you are aiming only at one another and not photographing any unwilling volunteers. Tolerate others. The spectrum of acceptable behavior in the non-Hedo world is narrow. At Hedo, that spectrum is considerably wider. Accept it. You don't have to participate in any thing you don't want to participate in. Bright pictures that stay in my mind: Rain in the hot tub. Your body warm. Steam rising. Dozens of people relaxing. The top of your head cool with rain drops. Clothing, when worn, is worn differently at Hedo. Tighter. Skimpier. Revealing. During the Battle of the Sexes, in front of 500 people in the dining room, my wife answering the call to be one of the "Four women willing to stand here in this dining room, absolutely naked," and then being told, "Just kidding…" As we came into the Disco in our Bondage outfits, heads turned. Smiles came on to faces. People wanted pictures. This was very pleasing. When snorkeling naked, my wife accidentally bumped into a clothed female swimmer. They surfaced. My wife said "Are you from the Hedo boat?" The woman looked at her cross-eyed then swam away. Most important: we both regained our ability to make new friends. We had wonderful conversations with people who live close by, who we know we'll see again. We found out that if you reveal a little, you'll get back a whole lot more. As the large Wild Thing catamaran closed to within a few yards of the beach, crammed with Right Thinking Republicans ogling the nudists, my wife got out on the hook and did her own little mooning dance. Who do you think has the most fun: the mooners? Or the moonees? In the games, Janet was: 1. a judge in the Sand Sculpture contest; 2. Reggae Dance Contest participant; 3. Battle of the Sexes participant; 4. PJ Night participant and winner; 5. Body painter; (I painted a green leafy vine twining around the body of a beautiful, round, pink young woman; I was so happy to have her for my canvas. - Janet) 6. Find Your Mate (she had to find me by my toes, a lot less fun than the lady who had to find her spouse by his dick); 7. Best Boobs contest participant; (No, I didn't win. Some people say there should be 2 contests, for the all-natural boobs and the enhanced boobs. - Janet) 8. Beach Party relay race participant. (Note from Janet - I wasn't any good at relay races when I was in high school, and I'm not much good at them now. Never mind. The point of these games was to have fun, and if I made myself a little bit ridiculous, that's just a healthy antidote to all the times I take myself too seriously. Besides, everyone who plays wins something.) In the games, George was: 9. Reggae Dance Contest loser; 10. Drinking contest loser; 11. Battle of the Sexes participant; 12. PJ Night participant and winner; 13. Find Your Mate life-size dummy; As Janet luxuriated on the straight-up cold water jet that's next to the hot tub, I was told that men are 1)replaceable and 2)unnecessary. (Note from Janet - he wasn't told that by ME!! But I do recommend straddling the water jet. There are several other strategic places you can sit or stand in the pool as well, but that's the most dramatic.) Janet took a step aerobics class with the visiting instructor, David. She was just about the only student. We did water aerobics early in the week. This was fun but we didn't do it again. (Note from Janet - early in the week I exercised. As the week progressed, the ambition left me.) Powerful ganja. Very good ganja. Whenever the Blue Taxi, which is green, approached, one of our group would yell "Pharmaceuticals are here!" We took the nude catamaran cruise. This was lots of fun-about sixty people snorkeling and then going to the Pickled Parrot where Kevin (of Kevin and Carla) did not jump from the cliff despite the fact that Carla went before him and despite the encouragement coming from the people on the catamaran. The next day, someone came up to him at breakfast and said "Aren't the guy who didn't jump off the cliff?" When the lady who had to Find Her Mate by his cock came to me, she grabbed my cock and immediately looked me in the eye (right through her blindfold) and said "No!!"
Bad Things:
Pastafari's-It is inexcusable, when reservations are required, the menu is limited, and the restaurant is small, to keep a table waiting more than an hour for entrees. They knew we were coming, they knew WHEN we were coming, they knew how many of us there would be, - is this too difficult? We were on time for our 8:30 reservations, and our entrees were served after 10 p.m.. To make matters worse, they ran out of desserts. The food in the dining hall is excellent - I would not bother with Pastafari's again. TimAir web reservations. I exchanged email with TimAir prior to departure and made reservations both coming and going. When we arrived at TimAir, they'd never heard of us. Clearly a failure to communicate. Bad People. There are bad people in the world and sometimes they go to Hedo. Friends of ours were continually disturbed by an abusive, loud man who received several visits by Hedo security. If you're near a situation like that, you want it to stop immediately. In this case it didn't, and it nearly ruined an otherwise wonderful vacation.