Chris & Liz H2 trip November 4-15th, 2000
Our trip to H2 (my first, Liz's 2nd) was excellent overall. The singularly unusual thing about this vacation was the wonderful group of people that we met. Both those that we corresponded with beforehand and those we met on the fly were exceptional - significantly more engaging & outgoing than at any other resort we've visited. This made the trip for me. First - a small tribute to those wonderful people...
Taking the TimAir flight with Jim & Terri was wonderful... so good that Liz didn't even get queasy! The 9-seater flight was surprisingly smooth & the view was indeed awesome. The group of folks we hung out with was fabulous, & Lora & Gary's wedding really made the week special in so many ways (we love you two). Colleen & Patrick got married as well, we missed that one, but they've sent us some lovely pix & we did get to admire his waxed penis - another special moment, which Liz now is expecting Chris to emulate.... (Chris is considering). :) Fortunately, we also got the scoop from Jim about Colleen's excellent physique - a missed experience that Chris is despondent about.
To all of our new friends...the Bosom Buddies....Kenny & Ginger...Joe & Ann...Ron & Tania, Dennis & Shannin...and everyone else we'll forget to mention....it was wonderful to meet you & hope to see you soon again. Sorry you didn't get a chance to use your cards Bernie (you dog!), but your toys were fun to look at (hold, play with, & wonder about the potential uses for...) & thanks for taking us on that great bike ride. : ) We love you folks.
Jamaica Joe rocks - what a great guy. Hurray for mudslides (particularly in the large sippy-cup quantities that Joe pioneered.) Ron & Tania...glad you got your raft photo (so delightful for us as well as the large crowd that quickly gathered to watch and cheer) and hope your foot is okay! (Damn those pesky sea-urchins!!!) Joe & Ann, thanks for making the 2nd half of our trip as fun as the first....I'm still detoxing! (Liz speaking for herself) And Kenny & Ginger...you two are wonderful...and the best beach partners around.. not to mention your sharing of the prime real estate near Point Village. We're so looking forward to seeing you again.
Jim & Terri....You guys are top-shelf. We're glad you finally got to change drinks, Jim (finally satisfying your craving for Sex on the Beach). We're still laughing about "Mr. Most Funky" - where are those pix?? And Terri (aka: "Miss Nude Scuba")... you go girl! :) You two made our trip complete - can't wait til next time. Brent & Linda - our other wonderful beach buddies - we miss you. Mark & Kim, great job on the bondage! And Baron & Theresa - until next time! Chris still has a burning desire to serve you guys Cuervo 1800 in the cool tub, since he's our drink-runner. Dennis (our world traveler, nuclear expert & generally great guy) and Shannin (aka: babe of babes) - we love you guys. Thanks for adding to the general merriment & good cheer. NYPD Mike (aka: slingshot Mike)... what a hoot! Thanks for spreading so much fun & craziness in your wake. Hope we'll see you again & we'll nail those damn Sandals and Breezes tour boats next time! Rasta Bill - Great to see you & Hasta manana amigo.
We miss you all & feel privileged to have met you. Maximum respect.
Aside from these exceptional people we met, here are some observations:
Food - Quite good. Better than the other AI's that we've been to. Highlights included the smoked salmon & carved ham for b'kfast, jerk seasoned trout fillets for lunch, Robert's grilled sandwiches & jerk chicken (of course), and the lamb chops, mashed sweet potatoes, & shrimp for dinner. Deserts were ho-hum. The custards and ice cream were the best of the bunch. Pastafari and the Scotch Bonnet restaurants were both quite good - comparable to medium grade restaurants in the USA. The service was universally good. The burgers & dogs at the beaches were mediocre - avoid them unless you're in dire need of a fast-food fix (tho Liz loves the fries). The midnight buffet was decent - a good basic assortment of stuff to suit the munchies.
In addition to the top-shelf drinks, the ginger ale was super - darker & stronger than ours in the USA. (Great mixed with Seagrams 7 BTW. Plus, you can get a full glass of seagrams from the bar, and refill your ginger from the self-serve soda fountains when the bars are busy - a neat trick!) Ting of course was great plain or as a mixer.
The margaritas were dismal at all the bars. We took a liking to Appleton's rum & pineapple juice. Note also that collins'es will be made with Ting vs collins mixer - similar and quite good. Rasta Bill turned us on to flaming Bob Marleys - you've gotta try one (preferably at Veronica's). We repaid the favor by introducing both he & chatty-Bill to the 'cement mixer' (sorry guys - the silver lining is that now you can inflict it on your other friends!) - a shot of baileys swished in your mouth with a 1/2 shot of lime juice - it congeals grotesquely in your mouth..... amazingly & delightfully gross.
Beaches - OK. The nude beach was nice, though rather small. The sheltered area adjacent to Point Village was great, though it could be packed when the place is crowded. That stretch of beach also gets the direct mid day sun, so it's hotter than the other beaches on the property. Overall, the prude side beaches were the nicer - deeper & sandier. They also have some excellently placed hammocks on the prude side. This was one lack on the nude side - very few hammocks (like 3 total). There should be more. Augustus took wonderful care of the beach as always.
Bars - excellent. The staff does a great job. The nude & prude beach bars are both excellent, and the staff handles a large number of guests well. The nude beach bar gets slammed in the afternoons - with 2 bartenders handling 20-35 guests each during the 2-4pm time. It's a good idea to get double the number of drinks then, so you replenish less frequently. Then again - waiting at the bar is a great time to chat w/ folks.... Veronica's is a nice venue - almost like a small local bar. It's got a bit of character. The main dining room bar is nice looking, but the service there seems to be a lot slower than anywhere else - even when it's not busy.
Staff - Super. Bring a bunch of 5$ bills for (surreptitious) tips. It means a lot to the Jamaican folks. Don't forget the musicians and other people. They need that money more than we do.
Suggestions for newbies:
Be outgoing & talk with people. The folks at H2 are notably different from the average AI vacationer. We met some of the most wonderful people - it's a real pleasure. A great way to meet folks is to get an extra couple of drinks or a plate of jerk chicken to share with folks in the hot tub. Some of the inflatable floats have indentations that hold bar cups perfectly. The Pin Pals introduced this by bringing about 20 drinks to the hot tub one nite - great idea! It's also easy to load up a float and deliver drinks to swimmers/floaters during the hot midday time.
The disco empties out after about 4. You can request songs and have the place to yourself for some romantic dancing near closing time.
Scuba - try it. What a blast. The certification course is pretty painless & interesting. The dives are great - lots of colorful coral, conch shells, eels and fish. We also did some relaxing snorkeling near Point Village - seeing the usual fish & 2 lobsters!
Bike to Negril. It's about a 20 min ride each way. Neat to see the people & roadside businesses up close. The cars are generally respectful. There are many nice photo opportunities along the way. The Countryside Gift shop is a good place to get souvenirs. The people there are super, the prices are decent and they'll deliver your stuff back to H2 that evening. If you buy a bunch of stuff, they'll likely give a 10-20% discount.
Bring outfits. It's fun to see all the crazy clothes that the people wear. The sky's the limit - go wild. The costumes are some of the best entertainment in the evenings. Some of the more interesting ones were paint-on latex, tuxedo collars & cuffs (with nothing else but G-strings - thanks again to the Pin Pals group for that addition!), and the assortment of leather, gauze, and thongs. Don't forget the glitter & glow sticks!
No need to worry about people being rude or pushy regarding sex (or anything else). The only obnoxious behavior we saw during our stay was a guy trying to take videos at the nude beach. NYPD Mike took care of that, by chasing the guy down & confiscating the tape (good job Mike!). The security staff does a nice job of being around to help out with anything & generally keep an eye out. The place feels very safe & friendly.
It was a wonderful trip & we're hoping to see the Bosom Buddies again in November.
Until then, chrisandlizvt@aol.com